


We'll Do Our Best

by Sardonicc



Series: Mournful Lament [1]
Category: Slavetale - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - SlaveTale, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Bad Decisions, Bipolar Disorder, Child Abuse, Child Loss, Chubby Reader, Depression, Drug Use, Everyone Has Issues, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Freeform, Hate to Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Misunderstandings, Monster heats, Neglect, No Plot/Plotless, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Papyrus Being A Jerk, Papyrus Needs A Hug, Past Abuse, Past Violence, Regret, Sad Ending, Sans Needs A Hug, Sans is still Sans, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Somnophilia, Suicidal Thoughts, Verbal Abuse, dark themes, depressed reader, please dont hate me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-01-23 21:53:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 53,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12517380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sardonicc/pseuds/Sardonicc
Summary: After the Assassination of the of Queen of all monsters along with her child ambassador Chara and their adoptive father Asgore, Monsters lose their beacon of hope and are quickly forced into slavery.heavily inspired by V_mum's fic SlavetaleSet in the Underswap timeline.





	1. Saveur?...

**Author's Note:**

> Fic under maintenance, trying to clean it up a bit that's all, updates won't be real updates sorry for my mess.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Sans and its a little awkward..but its ok...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go again... I'm only doing this for the sake of...well hell I don't know, but I remember a few people did actually like We'll Do Our Best before i deleted it. Honestly, I don't want to go through this again so I'm making it very short compared to the deleted one. writing this again gives me anxiety but I'll do my best to at least try to finish this fic.

It had been three years since monsters had emerged from Mt.Ebott to live side by side with humans once again. But when the queen of all monsters and her adopted child were murdered things quickly turned to shit. With no one to lead them monsters were quickly made into slaves by humans. Sans had been given to you as a bribe by some old man on the street trying not to get sued for assaulting you, after 12 mins of pleading for you not to call the cops and signing off papers to grant you ownership of him, the man wobbled off as quick as he can with his cane away from the two of you yelling about how was was worthless anyway. 

You stood there quietly, letting things sink in about what just happened.

_You tried to help a monster and got a slave in return..._

_You owned someone now..._

There was a long moment of silence as the two of you just stand there while you watch the man's receding form. You sighed glancing over at him from the corner of your eye making the poor guy flinch the moment your attention was turned onto him, you knew he was nervous, no...  _Scared_ was the proper word to use. 

_Specifically scared of you._

His hands were held up to his chest fisted into his dirty partially tattered shirt, and despite the grin plastered on his face his brow bones were knitted into a severely worried expression as large dark eye sockets seemingly stared at you with the most pleadingly dismal look you had ever seen on someone and your stomach churned.

_You knew that look..._

It was the same one you'd see in old home videos, and in the reflective glass of rooms where you were left alone for much too long.

Something you were all too familiar with...

You felt a rage slowly boiling deep within your belly that you wanted nothing more than to claw out as you clinched your car keys in your fist. The hard jagged metal painfully digging it's way into your skin as you fight the urge to mutter profanities at him for looking at you like that. As if you just told him that the moment you two were behind closed doors you were going to mutilate him until he was unrecognizable and then beat him to death.

You wanted it to stop.

Ever so subtly a tremble that ran through him the longer you stared at him, you knew he was trying his hardest to hide it but you still noticed. Much like a small stray dog who wanted nothing more than to run away from you after being backed into a corner when all you wanted to do was help the poor thing. You shouldn't be mad at him, he had every right to be considering how he just seen you almost get violent with that old man. And the entire fact that he was given away to a very obviously unstable human with a quick flick of the wrist. You would have to go to the courthouse to have everything processed for ownership now too... If you didn't that was a 2,000$ fine you'd be stuck with...

Taking in his appearance a bit more your eyes glance down to his arms, the off white bones of his radius and ulna had a lot of knicks and scrapes in them. Similar to scars you've seen elsewhere before... that came from the same place the look on his face came from. Your eyes roam down to his dirty shorts to his legs. His fibulas in similar condition to his arm bones. He was also barefoot and you could see a few pebbles wedged in between the joints of his feet bones and wondered if it hurt him to walk. It looked really painful...But... _Could he even feel it?_ he was a skeleton after all... Were you going to have to buy him clothes now? He was just bones, did he even need common decency? Or did that ass hole just dress him up to make it seem like he cared? Was it done as a joke? Looking away you huff in irritation for your idiotic actions that lead to this moment, thinking of what to do next.

You really didn't wanna bring this dude home with you, but you were kinda stuck now. It's not like you could just _leave_ him standing here by himself. You'd be given an 800$ fine for abandonment and he'd be put in a 'shelter.' Glancing back up at his face again you see that he is sweating now... He's sweating. A skeleton that sweats...does that mean he can drink stuff? What about food, were you going to  have to feed him? You didn't even have money like that for yourself what the hell did he even eat?

Grumbling to yourself as you glare at onlookers that still straggled nearby as anxiety quickly fizzled away the anger you felt with yourself and everything that led up to this starts to stab at your guts. You flick your eyes back to him when he backs away from a tall man with short dark hair that passes by, eyeing him as a child would a new toy. The man gives you a glance and you grimace at him as your eyes lock with his bright ones before he walks off. You look back at the skeleton to find his creepy void like sockets full of so much sadness and hopelessness, that you feel your heart sink a little.

He looked _so_ _broken_.

You don't want to do anything else with this sudden change of hand, but had to do _something_ to help him.

You didn't want to be his owner but you didn't want him to end up with someone possibly worst than yourself if you gave him up to a shelter. Even if he didn't, putting him in one was a whole nother cruelty strike that would surely send you to hell. God, you might as well be beating him in the head with a rock dusting him yourself if you did that. All the stories you've heard about them, what you've seen when you got curious one day while passing by only to be filled with so much sickness and disgust for being the same species of the people who would allow such a place to exist as if it were just another casual store in your local neighborhood.

"Come on" Is all you say without sparing him another glance before walking the opposite way of the man back to your car. You didn't want to look at him, you didn't want to acknowledge the fact that this monster, this sentient being now belonged to you. You wanted to ignore him, pretend that none of this happened and still wasn't happening. That when you got home, you would kick your shoes and pants off and get in bed to sleep the rest of the day away until tomorrow hit and you'd repeat the same task of trying to shut out the world and quiet the endless self deprevating thoughts and hate filled voices of people who always told you, you weren't good enough that infested your mind. 

The two of you walked in silence as you both made your way back to your car, you only knew he was following you because you could see his reflection in the store windows as you passed by out the corner of your eye. He suddenly yelps and you jolt whipping your head around to look back at him as he hisses to see him clutching his left foot as he tries to balance on one leg. You stopped to fully turn around to him, just to see his face scrunched in agony as he looked down to find a sharp shard of glass now wedged deep between the middle of his foot joints, but quickly replaced it with that creepy now _very_ strained smile when he noticed you looking at him.

 

He looked like he wished he were dead...

 

"What's wrong, you ok?..." You ask, you're a little surprised at how soft your voice came out considering the cocktail of manic emotions you felt moments ago. Looking away from you he doesn't answer he hesitantly lowers his foot down until it meets the sidewalk only hiss again and lean on the building next to him. Your eyes lower down to his foot bones, you were right about his feet.

"...U-uhm...Does...That hurt you?" You asked very softly knowing damn well it was a dumb question if the look on his face a moment ago was anything to go by. His eye sockets widen a little and his strained smile falters, seeming surprised at your concern for his discomfort. He stares at you for a long moment then clears his none existent throat. 

"...YEAH" a deep raspy voice you certainly weren't expecting replied. 

"...can you walk a bit further? My car is just a few blocks away then you can rest." Empty sockets look at you as if you had grown two more heads and he looks like he desperately wants to say something but doesn't speak. His hands fist into the fabric of his shorts and part of his shirt as he starts to tremble again. He stares blankly at the ground for a long time before slowly pushing himself away from the building and you swear you saw something wet forming in his eye sockets but figured it was the sweat dripping it's way down his face. He take a step forward only to choke back a loud scream making you jump as his leg buckles underneath him and he collapses onto all fours. 

_Fucking shit._

_" I...I'M S-SORRY, I'M VERY CLUMSY..."_ his voice wavered and sounded as if he were about to cry. He carefully tries to stand up but opts. For sitting on his bottom instead. He keeps his skull hanging low as if too ashamed to look at you as he rests his elbows on his knees. He was in pain, there was no way in hell he was going to be able to walk that far...

That face he made when you asked him if he could...

You swallow thickly as anxiety stabs at your stomach again.

_He probably thought you were trying to torture him._

"Do you want to wear my slippers until we get there?" You chuckle dryly as your brows knitted together. You don't know why you were laughing. You knew it was a common thing that happened when you were nervous or stressed but why _now_ of all times, he probably thought you were mocking him. He doesn't say anything and you quickly you kneeled down to take off your slippers to right your wrong and he jolted back as if he was just shocked.

Your sudden movement must have him...

_He's that scared of you? What you might do to him? Did he think you were going to hit him? For not being able to walk..._

_That's..._

You start to imagine what he must have been through these past few years on the surface and guilt floods your chest as whatever he must have gone through was pretty back if it would make him jump just from you kneeling down. You look at him as he stares at you with a fear stricken expression as he leans away from you and you softly sigh. Slowly you brought your hands to your feet and remove the slipper. They were clearly too small for him but better than walking on broken glass and gravel, you had on thick socks anyhow. And your car wasn't that far. Removing the other one you set the pair down next to his feet.  

"Here...It's only until we get to the car.." You say as you look over his bones and the glass stuck in between them, slowly reaching towards it he pulls his foot back and you glance up at his face. 

"I just want to check out your foot ok? Don't kick me in the face if I touch something and it hurts." He continues to stare at you for a few seconds before his collar starts to blink and he quickly nods.

... _Oops_.

Carefully you place your hands on his foot and he flinched from the contact. Being a bit more careful as you inspect the protruding shard, you carefully grip it and yank it out making him hiss out in pain and clinch his eye sockets shut replacing your hands with his as he cradles his injured foot in his hands hunching forward. 

"That better?..."

He nods frantically and you turn to throw it in the street not noticing the sparkling white marrow oozing out of his wound as he uncovers it to look at the wound. You stand back up and he looks up at you silently then at the shoes before slowly taking them and putting them on before pushing himself off the sidewalk to stand. He leans most of his weight onto his other foot but doesn't seems to be in as much pain as before. the two of you just stand there, he won't look at you, his skull casted off to the side as he holds his arm. Being this close to him you now only noticed that he's a few inches taller than you but overall the same size as you. That was good. You could give him a few of your clothes without worry of them being too loose on him. His bones were thick and sturdy looking despite being a skeleton he looked...chubby? Could skeletons be chubby too? How??  You knew he wasn't someones reanimated corpse, but didn't know how else to think of it. You're pulled out of your thoughts when he mutters a thank you.

Ignoring the few people that stare at the two of you as they walk by, some sneering, others shaking their head muttering distasteful things as they walked past with their monsters staring curiously before being harshly tugged along by their leshes as if they were animals and you felt your anxiety rear it's ugly head.

You wanted to get home quickly. You didn't want to be out here a second longer, the rest of the walk was quiet. When you got to your car you unlocked and opened the passenger door for him then walked over to the driver's side getting in. Closing your door you looked over at him to see that he was still standing outside just staring at you with empty sockets then gives the inside of your car a slow once over while clinching his hands to his chest again. 

"Get in please... My house isn't that far ok?  Once we get there you can take a shower and get ready..." He tenses immediately and slowly looked around as if to beg someone for help and then looked as if he were contemplating on whether or not to run.

_Not that he could with the collar around his neck._

"Er...more like get you settled in..." You say trying to correct your mistake again. He probably thought you'd do something disgusting to him...

"...YES,MASTER.." The words alone made your skin sting from the hard smack of reality of this all. A cold shock run through you before it settled in your stomach and felt sick. You wanted to puke. Shaking your head as your brows knit tightly together.

"Don't... _Ever._ call me that.." You spat out and he flinches. It came out a bit harsher than you meant for it to, sadness and anger peaking in your tone. " _Please...I'm not your master, please don't see this as that..ok? Just...anything else "_ you say coldly you felt your face get hot as your eyes watered.

You can't ignore it. This is real... 

He stares at you for a long time then shakes himself out of whatever judgemental thoughts he probably had about you already and nods, slowly getting into the passenger's seat he buckles his seat belt then hesitantly closes the door and slumped in his seat looking blankly at the space in front of him as if he just realized that he just sealed his fate in spending the rest of his life with you.  

 

_You n_ ever _wanted this._

 

_To be in this position, hell you just left home to pay your phone bill. Y_ _ou didn't think that you would ever be going back home with a fucking slave!_

"...it's (y/n).." You said softly. You really didn't want to make him more uncomfortable but you should at least try to get on basic terms with him now that he was going to be living with you.  

Fuck how were you going to do this?..

The thought keeps echoing in your head. You owned someone now...Not just some pet but a person...not that you considered monsters pets but, fuck..how the fuck were you going to do this.

What was your brothers going to think?

You could barely take care of yourself with your mental state being the way it was. Yes, you had the money to easily care for him but it wasn't really _for him_ , its supposed to be for rainy days... _what were you going to do if an emergency happened?_ what the hell did monsters need anyway? a skeleton monster at that. Did he sleep and or need to eat? He clearly felt pain since his feet had been hurting and he was sweating too...You would really needed to buy him a good pair of shoes. That meant you would have to leave the house again...

Glancing over at him he pulled you out of your thoughts again when you find him looking at you.

_Shit, you've been sitting here this entire time._

"S-sorry.. I was just trying to sort some things out in my head.." he remained silent, that was ok, you didn't really want to talk with the anxiety eating away at you right now, you pull off down the street and the two of you head to your home.

You were bringing a stranger home with you. That would live with you for the rest of your life because you had to be a hero.

. _..Maybe you could dump him on someone else.._.

You knew a girl from your old job that had a thing for monsters. She would gush about her monsters all day everyday saying how wonderful they were to have around, you think you still had her number.

_You should give her a call_.

* * *

 

After a 15min drive you arrive home and pull into the driveway. You had a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom home so you weren't worried about having enough space to avoid him... But.. _in your own home?_

You didn't think this out, you should have told the man no and called the police anyway, then you would be here alone and fine. You weren't a social person by any means, that's why you rarely left, but now? You glance over at the monster feeling your stomach cringe again. Getting out of the car the two of you walk across the yard and up to the front porch..

_Which room was he going to stay in?_

You fumble with your keys as your thoughts start to race and it becomes hard to concentrate on sticking them into the lock. 

_Would it be cruel to keep him in the garage?_

You turned it into a den a while back so it should be fine right? Opening the door you step inside and let out a sigh relived to finally be back home, his footsteps slowly follow after. 

_But your permanent company..._

You wanted to be by yourself, away from the worries of feeling self conscious about how you looked, or talked and acted. You wouldn't be able to do what ever you wanted comfortably anymore.

_What were you supposed to feed him?_

You stopped cooking for yourself a long time ago, you usually just bought cheap microwavable stuff so you didn't have to.You hear the skeleton shift from one foot to the other making the floor creak.

_Right... You needed to get him settled in._..

"uhm..your feet..right.. Please go sit on the couch." He slowly limps over as you went to to the bathroom to grab tweezers, a face tower, disinfectant and a nail filer. Heading back down the hall you stop in the kitchen to grab a bowl and fill it with hot water. You set the stuff down on the coffee table and kneel down in front of him and study his fibulas and tibias. This was probably the only thing that was ironically going to keep your mind off of him at the moment. Makes zero sense but still...

There were scrapes all over them and looked as if he had been dragged over concrete while on his knees. "Is it alright if i touch you? I just want to get that gravel out from between your joints.." He could just do it himself but you didnt know him too well or what he was like with humans... he could stab you out of a fit of courage if you gave the sharp tool to him. He figits around as he stared down at you from you position on the floor between his femurs and you see a small bead of sweat form on the side of his head and blue dust his cheek bones. _Weird_.

"I'm not going to hurt you on purpose, I just want to try to help you out ok?" you said looking back down at his feet. As you did you wondered how his bones stayed together.

"P-PLEASE BE CAREFUL HUMAN." he said shakily. You nodded gently placing a hand on his fibula making him flinch a little hoping that the scrapes didn't sting him. You could feel warmth coming from them and,wow..This was a really a real living, breathing skeleton in front of you right now. Not just left overs from someone's corpse but an actual person made of bone..here...living....with you.....

What the fuck were you going to do...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now that i'm rewriting this i'm going to be adding some things in that hadn't been in the first so be warned it's going to have a few dark themes that was supposed to be in the original. Updates won't be often because I'm still not too bent on writing this story anymore.


	2. Why Bother, Knowing Where This Is Going Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get sans settled in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Went back and added to this chapter

Just _try_  to relax.

 

You really can't afford to do this right now, you don't want to freak him out with an anxiety attack. You try to take slow calming breaths through your nose as your stupid manic thoughts try to squirm their way through your mind, break your calm demeanor and gain control...he was already scared of you, and it's not like he could just _leave_ if you started freaking out.

You chance a glance up at him, he's looking around the living room most of his attention seemingly on the pictures on the walls.

That look he gave you earlier... _He probably thought you were just another creep that was going to do something vile to him-_

_no. Don't start with those thoughts. You knew that if you didn't try to nip it in bud now it would set off a series of unwanted thoughts and impulsive behavior that would most likely make him think the things you thought he was._

_Just stop being nervous..._

You wish it was that simple.

_Nothing has happened so why would you be?_

You've done similar stuff like this before, it was easy, all you had to do was clean him up...So what if he was a stranger.. You've cared for strangers before...this was no different...Just... Think of all of this as being a CNA again... And he's just your patient.

Taking the small face towel you dip it into the warm water and gently run it down his fibula, some of the dirt already coming off... that's good. Getting more of the grim away you see that the scrapes weren't as as bad as you thought they were.

Maybe you could smooth them out with a large skin buffing pad, or would that hurt him? Dipping the towel in the water to rinse it and ring it out, you move to his other leg repeating the same process until they're somewhat clean now you move down to his feet. Carefully placing his left foot on your thigh you look over it carefully. To say that a few pebbles and gravel was wedged in the joints of his phalanges and metatarsals was an understatement.

There was a fucking ton of it.

You could also see now how his metatarsals were heavily scraped up more so than his leg bones had been. You were right about him not wearing shoes for a long time...You pick up the metal nail filer and glance back up to him. He looks worried again. 

"I'm just going to get as much of the gravel out of your joints as i can, alright?" you say gently and he nods.

Taking the pointed end of the nail filer you gently poke off and pop out some of the slightly caked on grime and pebbles. He sighed in relief sightly wiggling his phalanges making a bone scraping against bone sound and you shudder.

Must still be a little in there.

You glance up at him again, worried it might be a bit uncomfortable still, but his eye sockets were lidded a little and for a split second you thought you saw something small and white shinning in the back of them but must have been your imagination because they were gone as quick as they were there. Still, he looked much relaxed than he had been when you gave him your slippers and he sank into the soft cushions of the couch. A small smile spreads across your lips as you were glad that you managed to make him feel a little better and you  yourself managed to ease some of the anxiety away.

It was almost therapeutic in a way...

"Let me know if any of this hurts please ok?" you say looking up at him through your eyelashes. He nods again and you get back to work on his foot. You grabbed the towel and dipped it into the now slightly brown water and running it over the bottom of his foot making him hiss loudly and jerk his foot back and out of your hand and into his as he presses his knee to his sternum. 

"S-s-sorry! sorry!sorry-i-im soo sorry, i forgot!" you gasp hands flying up to your chest as you drop the towel. Anxiety fully back now you watch as he clutched his left foot in his hands, his eye sockets shut tight. That must have hurt really bad. Fuck..You didn't want to cause him any more pain then he was already in. Letting out a shallow breath he opened his sockets as sweat formed on his brow.

"I-ITS...OK I KNOW Y-YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO HUMAN...I-T'S JUST.. WHERE THAT BIG PIECE OF GLASS WAS." he said releasing it and slowly lowered his food back onto your lap hesitantly and you looked over it. Between his cuboid and cuniform was a large gash-like knic from where you pulled out the shard and what looked to be some kind of white sparkling liquid slowly oozing from it. Is that..his version of bleeding?... Did You reopen the wound when you wiped over it?. You were kind of rough since you were focused on getting the dirt off... God you were rusty at this.. You were always supposed to be as firm but delicate as you can when handling patients. You feel bad...You grab the disinfectant.

"This is going to sting a bit ok? It's just to clean it and get bacteria out" you said

"I WON'T NEED THAT, I'LL BE FINE HUMAN." he says.

You looked at him getting ready to complain but as you glance back down you see that the gash is gone and that the sparkling liquid has spread out over the spot and hardened over. "How did it-"

"MAGIC" he says winking brow bones still knitted together in pain.

"...Ah.."

You stare down at his foot in awe, You wanted to ask him so many questions about his anatomy and how his magic worked but didn't feel like now was an appropriate time. "...IT'S SANS..." You look up at him confused for a moment still thinking about his biological makeup when it clicks. He clears his throat speaking quieter. 

"..m-my name..is the magnifi!- ah...I-i-mean.. I-its.. sans..sans the skeleton" he says crest fallen. He almost sounded really happy a second ago...wait was he about to call himself the magnificent Sans? That's so cute..."..But...No one ever calls me that anymore. Just...whatever they want..."

You frown.

"Well Sans _im_ not going to call you anything you don't like ok?" You say a little disappointed and slowly stand up, grabbing the supplies you used. He nods as if he was a child that just got scolded and told to go to his room for timeout, a light powder blue tinting his cheeks.

You feel gross for thinking this but that face he made was too cute...But as cute as it was you never wanted to make him make it again. You wanted it to be all smiles.Er.. Well he was always smiling but you wanted genuine ones... You had a feeling that the permanent one on his skull was just his face and he couldn't really change it no matter what he was feeling. 

He's just staring at you again.

_Shit, you've just been sitting there._

"Um...oh! Uh.. Here, let me show you to your room." You say taking the supplies to the kitchen dumping the bowl of dirty water in the sink. You wave him over to you as you head towards the hallway. "-M-my room?...."his voice came out small and surprised. You didn't expect him reply so quickly. He had been so silent the past hour, he gets up and slowly follows you.

"Of course, it's not like I'm going to make you stay in the living room... What kind of- ...r-roommate w-would that make me?" You stop in front of the garage door contemplating on weather or not it would be messed up to designate this his personal space.

".... _Roommate_?" His tone perked up, but voice came out so small and uncertain, making you look back at him to find his hands cradling his elbows as he managed to somewhat give you a flummoxed expression.

"Uh...yeah..." You pause taking your hand off of the door handle deciding that it indeed was messed up in your book...You couldn't make him stay in there... It became a giant oven during the summer due to it not being a proper room and would get cold during the winter. on top of that there was always an ant problem.

"L-look I'm not...I don't want you to think of me as your master alright?..I don't know what's happened to you since monsters arrived on the surface... up until now, or how many people have hurt you...But I'm not going to be like them... That's sick and id sooner throw myself off a building before ever abusing another living creature ok?" You feel your chest swell for feeling the need to explain how you feel about his.. _situation_ with you as he just stares at you again with the a perplexed look. It's a long moment before he blinks nodding a little but still seemed very skeptical as if you were getting his hopes up just to pull the rug from under him.

You turn away from the door in contemplation and head further down the hall passing a room to the left and right of you before stopping at the end of the hall at _your_ bedroom. You don't know why you immediately lead him to this one, maybe it was you unconsciously trying to make up for trying to throw him into the garage. Once you open the door you hear him make a small gasp as the two of you enter, and you try not to think too hard about how the hell does he do stuff like that with no throat or lungs.

The room was fairly large with two windows on the east and west sides of it, and a sit-in bay window that lay in the middle, two built-in shelves full of books and plants on either side. White pillows covered the bench underneath it. The windows in the room where all covered with sheer white ruffled vlanced curtains that flowed to the cream colored carpet elegantly. Stringed star lights hug above them. In the window seal sat assorted succulents and small terrariums, A few sea shells and nail polish. A queen sized sat in the corner of the room with four pillows lining the head bored and side against the wall with deep blue and white covers with a dot and triangle pattern on them at the bottom of the mattress was a white ruffled bed skirt with a pair of pink bear slippers peeking out from underneath making him gasp almost...excitedly. "Y-you have another monster??" He asks.

"Ah sorry..those are my slippers." you say blushing and rushing over to them and pulling them from under the bed. He lets out a huff seemingly disappointed at realization that they were fake. In front of the bed was a large flat screen sitting on a white dresser in between the bedroom and closet door with more stringed star lights above it. 

You loved the night sky a lot and tried to decorate your room as such since you couldn't see the stars too well from the city. You remember when you painted the ceiling with a pinks and blues to make a pastel galaxy to stare at as you feel asleep. The end result was good. It almost looked like the real thing if it weren't for it being mostly pink. On the other side of the room was a white desk with two black computer monitor, pencil box a few post its with scribbles and doodles of an octopus with a stop hat and a spider having a conversation, a draw pad, opened art book with a few promarkers on it and a few figures from your favorite animes on them along with other art supplies. Above the desk was a small shelf with more figures on it from various different shows and a few video games. You went to clean up the desk when he spoke.

"T-this is really all for me?..." He said quietly and you glance behind you for a second to find him still standing just barely over the metal line that separated the hardwood floor of the hallway and the soft carpet of the bedroom as if it were forbidden. He looked around the room with wonder as you watch him stare in awe at the painting on the ceiling and posters of constellations planets and spaceships you had on the walls near your desk.

"Ah...Well...This is my room, but you can have it from now on, ok? I have plenty of space a-and the other rooms aren't that refurbished. So this will do for now..."

"I-I've never had a roommate before..Or my own room....Since we've gotten to the surface I mean..." You whip your head around to look at him as slowly steps in a little more into the room still staring somewhat in awe.

_We've?_

You halt your actions.  _Did he have a family or spouse before all of this?_  

You open your mouth to ask then close it deciding against it. You felt worst than earlier... Whoever he was with is probably gone forever now, and sold off to do god knows what or is probably even dead... You clear your throat and speak.

"Um... W-what size are you? I-I might have some stuff that you can wear instead of...that." You say looking down at his clothes and look back up to his eye sockets waiting for him to say something but he doesn't.

He just stares.

His empty black void like eyes and permanent smile that seems to be faltering a bit is making you feel like you should run.

But you don't.

He can't hurt you, You know that you tell yourself as anxiety starts to bubble in the pit of your belly again. You know he has more reason to be afraid of you since you're a human. You know that you're stronger, so does he, that's why he's scared... _Hell, He's been scared of you this entire time!_ You know he has trauma from whatever has happened to him.

"I-I'm not- It's just so you have something to wear until we get you some new clothes, I'm not going to watch you change or anything like that, or make you do anything you don't want to." You say waving your hands in front of you defensively.

"I just want you to be as comfortable as possible while living here..." you quickly force out and calmly moving away from him to the closet in front of the bed to try to ease some of the anxiety from being near him when he's staring at you like that. Opening it you sift through the neatly hung outfits you have and pull out a white ringer tee, some black shorts and a pair of black sport sandals with memory foam in the soles and set them on the bed. You reach over to the nightstand and pull out a pair of white socks placing them on the bed next to the clothes.

When you turn around he's right behind you causing you to jump back against the bed and slide down onto the floor. Your heart is pounding a mile a minute as you stare up at him eyes wide and mind racing with negative thoughts and fears of what he might do to you completely forgetting the fact that you were the one in control of him. Seeing your sudden reaction he backs up again before apologizing quietly then hesitantly reaching a hand out as an offer to pull you to your feet. All you can do is stare at him eyes wide, heart still hammering in your chest when you don't take his hand his already strained smile falters a little and withdraws his hand.

 _You probably made him think it bothered you for being bone_.

Before it was back at his side you quickly reach out and grab it. You don't know what you where expecting to feel when you touch his hand aside from coldness but when lukewarm bones pressed into the soft flesh of your hand instead. Like most of him that you've seen, his phalanges and metacarpals had a large amount of scrapes in them. He pulls you up and you let go of his hand with a tiny thank you and sigh through your nose looking away at nothing. You felt foolish for your reaction.

"Sorry. Y-you just surprised me and..." You clear your throat. "I'm really jumpy, don't take it personal..." You try to laugh it off but it comes out more forced than you mean for it to, he doesn't say anything and you look away from him when the creeping feeling becomes too much for you. The two of you stand there awkwardly and you try to push past him when his hand quickly lashes out tightening around your wrist and you flinch, your eyes flick up to his empty eye sockets as you try to yank it away but he pulls you to him and-

 

He's..hugging you..tightly..

 

... _oh_...

Burying his head into the crook of your neck you feel him let out a warm shaky breath against your skin and begins whining as if he were in pain and about to cry. You stand there stiffly trying to push him away but he doesn't let go. His bones press into the soft flesh of your body as he hugs you tighter and you feel something wet drip on your neck.

Is he? He's crying? How does he do that? You really need to stop questioning how he's able to do stuff when he's a walking talking skeleton.

That alone was amazing.

" _Thank you_ " his voice came out in a weak high tone and holds you tighter as if you'd disappear as soon as he let's go.

" _Th-ank you, thank you,thank you,t-tha-nk you *sobs*. You're so kind. N-no one has been this nice to me since I-lost-.._ " He doesn't finish instead he's full on crying now. You don't know what to do. youre supposed to comfort someone when their crying but... this is making you extremely uncomfortable... but he wont let go.... so you wrap your arms around his wide rib cage as the two of you stand there as you rub his back slowly and hesitantly bring your hand up and it hovers just a few inches away from his head before gently stroking his skull. You feel a large crack down the middle and take your hand away worried it might hurt him opting to just hold him closer, smoothing circles into his back in an attempt to comfort him like you used to your late boyfriend when he was upset. He whines,legs giving out completely and the two of you collapse to the floor when you fail to support his weight. 

" _Y-you're s-s-o generous a-and I-I *hic* I-I! *sniffles* We just met t-today a-and you've already been the s-second n-nicest human I've--since we've-gotten here and!-It's been so long since someone has been this nice to me. I'm sorry please forgive me human i-i just.. I'm so happy that you aren't bad like the rest.. I can see it. I saw it when I met you hours ago. I had lost so much hope but when I saw y-you a-nd that soul- I-I-m just so glad*sniffles* I was so scared!_ " He cries more as he moves his head from your neck down and buries it in your breast and you feel your stomach cringe a little but try to ignore your discomfort. You hold him close as tears start prick the corners of your eyes.

_Seeing people cry was never easy for you._

"It's...ok.." you say gently, and resting your head on top of his crown shushing him. After about an hour of crying he calms down enough to just sniffles but falls asleep on you not long after.  It was like when consoling a child after they hurt themselves bad on a play ground. you couldnt move with him on you like this and didnt want to wake him in worry of having another crying episode, you end up falling asleep too. When you wake up, you slowly crane your neck up grunting from the pain it was in and move to try to stretch but stop when you feel a heavy weight on you and look down to find his head still resting on your chest. Looking over to the windows you see that it was still a little bright out but the street lights have come on, so it was probably a bit late. You strain yourself trying to move your back from being pressed against the foot of the bed. Your legs lost feeling long ago from being folded weirdly underneath you and try to wiggle them into a more comfortable position when his arms tighten around your plump waist.

_This feeling_...

This...feels nice..even though he's obviously distressed. You feel a little gross for enjoying it like this, but you haven't had a hug in a long time. You stare down at him as he softly snores and hesitantly bring your hand up then gently run the tips of your fingers over his ulna and humerus thinking back to the last time you were held like this. It...feels wrong to pretend but you missed this...Tracing over grooves and nicks in his bones, you close your eyes. You would do this all the time with the scars on _his_ arms and feel your stomach painfully flutter from the memory and feeling tingling on your fingertips and frown at your pathetic desperation for your old life, petting his skull you sigh again.

_Poor guy_..

You feel so bad, when was the last time he has even slept? He's completely passed out. You would have moved him to the bed if he wasn't so fucking heavy, not that your one to talk, but seriously what gives! He was just _bones._ How did he have enough weight to make him heavy!? You look down at the sleeping skeleton. He's actually kinda cute when he's not staring at you with his empty eye sockets that where _somehow_  closed at the moment. He had very round cheeks and you wondered again about his biological make up, you move your hand up to his cheek, half expecting your finger to poke at hard bone your surprised when it sinks in a little, It's actually like touching _very_ hard, thick rubber. You pinch his cheek a little more to test his anatomy and Sans stirs a little from his sleep letting out a small yawn and nuzzling into your chest tightening his arms around you more making you blush.

"U-u-uh.. S-sans?. "

"Mweh?.." he slowly opening his eye sockets still clearly half asleep and-

_WHOA WHAT?! he has eyes!? Eye lights?? What!? They're so cute!_ You thought to yourself as you stare down at him wide eyes.

"hnnmm~ soo soft.. Jusa li.. longer" he mumbles nuzzling into your breast more and you start to feel very uncomfortable with him touching you.

"!?-S-Sans no, Wake up." Your voice came out shaky. Large bright cerulean orbs with shining stars sleepily stare up at you.

_Holy fuck._

"Wha-nnhm..Tori?.. "

" _G-Get off me, please_. _dude_ i-it's me..."Opening his eye sockets and rubbing away dried tears he looks up at you with clearer vision then down to where his head hand been resting and quickly pushes himself away to the other side of the room banging into the dresser blue spreading across his cheeks.

"A-AH H-HUMAN. I-I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN T-TO I-I UH!" he coughs clearing his throat. " I DIDN'T MEAN TO INVAID YOUR PERSONAL SPACE, PLEASE FORGIVE ME." he said twisting his hands into the front of his dirty shirt, the stars quickly start to dim and he blinks, and are back to just pin pricks of light. Staring hard at the spot in front of your feet through lidded sockets he doesn't dare to look up at your face. Was he scared that you were going to punish him?

"I-it's ok...uh...y-you have beautiful eyes" you say to try to change the subject, but regret that the words slipped out of your mouth, but at the same time wishing that they would come back.

"I-i u-u-hm yeah i-I*coughs* t-thank you..sorry for..falling..asleep on your-..your um.." he gestures to your breasts. "You're really soft.."he says still not looking at you and his round face turns an even darker blue now.

_He looks like a blueberry..._

"It's ok,...." you mumble slowly getting up to stretch, your joints popping and cracking and he gets up too still averting your gaze. "...Who's Tori?" you ask tilting your head to the side and he looks away from you rubbing his arm blushing more. "...Was she your girlfriend?" 

" _W-WHAT N-NO,_ QUEEN TORIEL WAS JUST A FRIEND!" he yells face turning furiously blue and sweating slightly.

Woah ok. You need to remind him about his inside voice and wait- _Queen Toriel?? The Queen of all monsters?_

"The _Queen of all monsters Toriel_?? You knew the queen of all monsters personally?" you asked shocked

"YES OF COURSE! " he said smiling starry eye lights returning almost immediately, shinning brighter than the last time as he whipped his skull up to look at you.

"I WOULD ALWAYS VISIT HER IN THE CAPITAL AT HER CASTLE AND SHE WOULD MAKE ME BUTTERSCOTCH PIE AND GOLDEN FLOWER TEA! SHE WAS VERY NICE, AND BEAUTIFUL. WE WOULD SIT AND TALK ABOUT SNAILS AND PUZZLES FOR HOURS SHE EVEN GAVE ME A RECIPE FOR HOW TO MAKE BUTTER SCOTCH CINNAMON PIE AND SHE TOLD ME THAT WHEN WE'D ALL GET TO THE SURFACE SHE'D- he looked down blinking,smile slowly lowering. 

"SHE.......She was...a wonderful person..." he finished hands lowering to his sides then slumped away to the door and down the hall.

_The face he made just now..._

You feel like shit again regretting even bringing it up and you just want today to end already. Following him down the hall he heads into the living room. You stop in front of the bathroom grabbing a large towel from the linen closet and a face towel from the drawer along with a travel toothbrush you kept just in case, a luffa, and a buffing pad for his bones if he might need it, then turn on the light to the bathroom.

"Hey, let me show you how the shower works!..." You call to him. This house had one of those really cool advanced showers the more expensive homes around you did, it had took you forever to understand it when you moved into the place and you didn't want him having the same problem. You hear him come back down the hall and bypass you then returns a few seconds later  you look back to see he has his new clothes in tow but he looks... Empty.. Emotionally. Like he just lost someone he loved deeply again, his permagrin was now more of a straight line and his eye sockets empty again, He seems deep in thought and you mentally kick yourself for asking about the Queen. They must have been really close the way he spoke of her moments ago...you wondered who else he lost again and If he had any brothers or sisters, Sans fidgets around a bit while you stand there thinking about earlier.

"Ah sorry about that! I was just thinking about, uhh.." you try to think of an excuse not wanting to bring up the queen again.

"What kind of body wash do you want to use." You go to the cupboard above the toilet a pull out various bottle of your favorite body washes you bought from bath and body works and a few other types you picked up from a store in the monster district you never used and set them down on the counter. You hear him suck in a small breath of air as he goes to reach for the one you got from the monster district. The bottle was a neon blue with a metallic colored cap and a robot of the same colors dressed as a DJ on the label.

"NTT brand beauty-wash? I haven't seen this in years..." he asked voice perking up a bit.

"Yeah, I bought it a while ago actually. Never really used it though, is it any good?" His brow bones raise as he looks at you in shock. 

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? NAPSTATON'S BRAND IS THE BEST! EVERYTHING HE MAKES IS AS MAGNIFICENT AS ME" He says his smile returning as the lights in his eye sockets slowly come back into view.

"..We can go shopping tomorrow morning for more of his brand if you'd like?" you ask. You honestly didn't want to leave the house again after today but you did need to get him some stuff he might need. He smiles and nods and you show him the flow settings along with how to adjust and set the pressure and temperatures wanted.

"Um..also can you tone it down a little when you speak please? I'm not hard at hearing and don't want to be." You tease a little. 

"SORRY HU- I-I mean.. Sorry human" he says bashfully looking away blue tinting his cheeks. Leaving out you press the lock button and close the door behind you.

"Take as long as you need to ok?" You call out from the other side and sigh as you rub your eyes and make your way over to the living room plopping down over the back of the couch face planting into the cushions groaning at the sudden headache you have. This was too much...You needed to figure out what to do with him tonight so you didn't have to be bothered with this anymore. As much as you did want to help people, you weren't any good at it...You either didn't have the courage or ended up having a panic attack when put in a serious situation.

_What a fucking loser..._

This is why no one likes you, But who needs people? Human beings were garbage anyways...pets were awesome yeah, but you'd rather not plague a poor critter with your self-loathing and need to be loved before you pathetically tried to stop yourself from mutilating your body, or stress eating. You groan again when you think back to Sans, you were technically already in the process of doing that with him.

Maybe you could find a job for him? Not that he needed to work with all the money you had saved. You didn't need any financial help to afford pay bills anymore, _but that wouldn't last forever._

And when slavery was looked at as a normal thing you didn't want him to be taken advantage of.

Recalling what you did to yourself when you found out your mother in law _to-be_ had gotten a slave of her own and how she treated the poor monster when you tried to interfere with her abuse. It only sent you to the hospital when you didn't succeed and a few days later the poor fox monster turned to dust, you could have saved her...why didn't you try harder...you still ask yourself that every day. Why didn't you try harder. The guilt of being a useless failure set in and she soon got another one to exert her abusive energy on.

If your neighbor didn't came over to bother you about the dumb ass trashcans still being out on the curb _you wouldn't be here_...at least you got to learn about how monster food helped with medical research.

After 72 hours you were able to check out of the hospital and went home, it was nothing new, you did this all the time, you knew what they wanted to hear and how they wanted you to act and think from now on and as long as you could fake it, you'd be free to leave and _try again,_ **_hopefully with success the next time_**. When you got home your mother in law was there, refusing to leave to your dismay. The next two months was the worst you had, you just wanted her gone but she wouldn't go for what ever reason.

You didn't understand why...

You started leaving at 9 am everyday to get her off you back about not working, despite the fact that she herself didn't work either, her rebuttal was that she ' _wasn't a pathetic psychopath being ungrateful for her life_."

It worked for a bit you'd leave and she'd be there with her new slave when you came home, making them do things around your house that you didn't need done. You'd stay locked up in your room and ignored her as best you could until it was time to repeat. It worked for a while until she found you passed out in your car a few blocks away around the corner, the two of you fought the whole day after that and she threatened to call the police on you and send you to the hospital. That wasn't how it worked and scoffed at her empty threat.

You didn't come home that night.

You drove to a parking lot behind a supermarket and went to sleep only to wake up to the sound of something trying to open your car door and some ratty looking creep staring at you from outside your window with a smile. He tapped on your window trying to open the door again and kept on circling your car watching you. 

_Never again._

A few days had passed and you were back to your do nothing schedule, with no work to keep you busy from negative thoughts and feelings... and with her being there just to insult you on you " _pathetic choices in life_." You couldn't stop the thoughts you had, the voices, the guilty feeling for not being able to save them, the guilt of just being alive.

You stopped taking care of yourself, stopped eating and showering, rarely got out of bed, the times you did was to use the bathroom. You at least had the decency to do that...You hated being conscious, remembering how your life was how it lead up to this moment , how the world was. You'd wake up from a deep sleep happy that you were well rested for the few seconds you forgot what your life was, and what the world was around you. You'd take another Trazodone the moment you did to force yourself back to sleep where you could dream about the brief happy life you had.

When your prescription ran out and you went to you doctor and they advised against taking it any longer when they saw you, knowing what you would really do with them the moment you left.

You went to bed that night blade in hand and put in your headphones and listened to your playlist relaxing to the gentle songs before slitting your wrist. Slowly you vision faded into fuzziness as the room became darker and breath becoming more shallow. You felt tired. The music began to fade with the rest of the world. You see something small and (f/c) growling dimly at your chest. You heard someone banging on your door.

 

You were so close you just needed a fee more seconds.

 

The bagging was replaced with a blood-curdling scream then everything was black.

When you woke up you were in the hospital again, you felt so numb. You were nothing but a failure, you couldn't even do something so simple. Your mother in law was there sitting in a chair next to your bed looking down at you blankly with a cigarette in between her fingers.

 

"Can't smoke in here.." you rasp.

 

"I'm not doing this anymore, you're on your own now." was all she said before she left out of your life hopefully for good this time.

 

You stare up at the ceiling waiting for the door to close. Once it does you curled up into a ball and cried, you didn't care that she was gone, you hated her, from the day you met her she had been nothing but nasty and critical to you. You were glad she was gone but that...empty feeling.

You managed to straighten up and found another job not long after but your co-workers were terrible people... Everyone was either stuck up or judgemental but it was nothing you weren't used to. You powered through it and pushed yourself to over achieve which got you praise for your hard work. But that got you spiteful comments in return form your co-workers out of jealousy and treated badly for it. You were mainly treated bad thanks to the racist sack of shit manager who'd often use you as a scapegoat for "Disrespecting her " when you called her mean-spirited for how she treated the small mouse girl she would bring in to file paperwork. You would have quit if you didn't need that job to stop yourself from letting your depression get to you again but once you saw her bringing more slaves in, you had stayed home from then on out.

And here you were a few months after that with Sans.

Uhg right... What were you going to do with him..

You hear the shower turn on and the glass doors slide close. After a moment you get up and head to the kitchen for some water then to your bedroom where sans would be staying at now. While there you gather all of your clothes clearing space in the closet and drawers for him only leaving unisex stuff that he could fit him, which was just a few hoodies, 5 t-shirts and 2 pairs of shorts and a pair of pants, along with 2 more pairs of slippers. You didn't need to replace the bedding since you had washed it this morning before leaving.

Heading to the other room with your stuff you open the door to a slightly smaller room with two windows a full sized mattress that lay under one of the windows and a desk with a laptop you used for writing, on the opposite side of the room next to the closet. Setting the clothes down on the bed you head back to the hallway grabbing a Duvall insert and cover, a few pillows and sheets. Once back in the room you put away the clothes and make up the bed. Once done you collapse on it exhausted and feel your eyes slowly shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't try nearly as much as I should have.


	3. Loser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You loser...

An hour had passed you guessed when you woke up, you still felt tired and groggy. Your mouth was dry and sticky and your back was stiff from sleeping halfway on the bed. Looking at the alarm clock on the desk, you see it's 8:17 pm. Getting up from the bed in the office room, not even remembering why you were in there in the first place you drag yourself to the kitchen to grab a drink from the fridge. Refreshing ice cold water spreads over your tongue, moistening your dry mouth as you chugged down big gulps until you were satisfied and head back to your bedroom. You almost jump when you open the door to find a skeleton sitting on the bed playing with one of the advanced puzzles you had bought at pier 39 in Frisco a while back.

 _Oh right..._ _Your slave._

You didn't know what to say right now and kind of just stared at him. You didn't really care that he was looking through your stuff or playing with that puzzle box you thought looked cool when you got it but gave up on after 20mins when you got home after you bought it, and haven't touched it since. Your art book was open again so he must have looked at your shitty doodles.

You were supposed to be trying to think about what to do with him now that he was going to be here from here on out. You couldn't just keep him locked in the house every day like you did with yourself.

_That wasn't healthy..._

Sure you did get out from time to time but that was only when you had to grocery shop when you ran out of food. You _did_ take walks and jogged in the evening to clear your head from negative thoughts so you wouldn't start self-loathing, but had to stop after the last time...

* * *

 

Even though your neighborhood was safe enough for you not to worry about anything happening to you, that didn't mean the same for monsters. 

It had been a couple of weeks after they approved a new law requiring monsters to wear command collars to stop them from using their magic after a monster killed it's a human out of self-defense.

You went out for a walk around a quarter to 9 pm when you felt the need to get some fresh air, and ended up stumbling upon a monster girl being assaulted by two men near the playground at the park a couple of blocks away from your home. Her screams piercing your ears as she begged and pleaded for them to stop only to be met with laughter in response. staring in shock too scared to move as you witnessed it unfold in front of you. Tears streamed down her scaly blue face underneath her glasses, eyes clenched shut tight as one of the men held her down by the wrist in one hand, while his other tangled in her long red hair, yanking her head to the side making her scream as he licked and bite at her fins and neck. The other man roughly groped her crouch threw her jeans.

 _"P-please! N-no! Please, please s-s-stop! I-I-I won't run a-again! Please just stop!"_ she begged.

"Shuddent'av tried to run away then baby~ you know what the punishment is for cute fishies like you~ " the man holding her down said teasingly.

"No please-d-don't! SOMEONE H-HELP!! PLEASE! " She pleads frantically as he slips his hand into her jeans.

Fear eating was away at you. You didn't know what to do. You just stood there. What could you do?... Scream? Call for help? No one would come. You knew that and you feel tears start to form in your eyes. No one would help because she was a monster..but you cared.

As sick as it was This was legal. If they owned her or if her owner let her leave without them escorting her this late at night, it wasn't against the law for something like this to happen. No one cared that this was a person, you cared. you had to do something! This woman was being raped right in front of you. You needed to help her, This was sick! they're hurting her and laughing of all things!? You shakily reach for the pepper spray strapped to your hip underneath the oversized hoodie you were wearing when and step forward-

" _Soneones watching_..." the man holding her down says smile slowly fading when he spotted you. " _Think it's her owner_?" You clutch the pepper spray as the man straddling her looks over his shoulder at you, then looks back to the man holding her down. "She would have said something by now.."

They say something you can't make out and the monster girl screams a 'no don't' when the man holding her down gets up and slowly starts walking towards you arms open and welcoming as he slowly strolls over to you.

"Why hello there..." He pauses for a moment to look you over. "Lovely evening isn't it darling?" He said casually.

Your hearts pounding in your chest and blood rushing in your ears.

_Do something!_

You stay still

"..." You don't say anything and just stare at him wide eye as he waits for you to answer. 

_Have some courage dammit!_

You slowly back away.

He smiles and you can now see how much bigger this guy was now that he was walking closer. The park bright lamps helping you make out his sickly pale skin. His eyes wide and just as threatening as his smile. He was about 6'4 with an athletic build his jet black hair cut into a fade. He stops a few feet in front of you.

"I was asking you a question darling..." he says, smile now gone as he looks down at you with a blank expression. You don't dare look him in the eye. "How about you join our little party hm? C'mon we could always use another sweet treat such-"

You run.

_You coward. You fucking coward you need to help her and you're running away! You're no better than the people doing this to her.._

You look back not slowing down when you get a good distance.

He's still standing in the same spot seemingly surprised that you ran away. You hear him chuckle loudly as he looks down and shakes his head. "Maybe another time darling! Don't keep me waiting! " the man calls out. You duck behind a corner tripping on the curb and falling to the ground scraping your hands, and knees not seeing that you dropped your pepper spray.

Scrambling up to your feet you sprint down the street making a few more lefts and a right to an ally way and scuddled over a fence that separated your neighborhood from the park. You reach the top of the fence only to have your shoelaces get caught in the wire and fall face first onto the concrete below. You roll over onto your back as you feel blood flood your nose and down the side of your face.

 _You fucking loser_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....


	4. ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing happens

You're brought out of your thoughts when sans speaks. You really needed to stop fading out like that.

"Hi."

"Hey..." You say and he sits there quietly turning the puzzle in his hands not really trying to look at you as he stares down at his lap. He was probably embarrassed after breaking down like that in front of you. An awkward silence fills the air as you stand in the doorway and you start to fill uncomfortable with the tension that was being held in it. Maybe you should go start dinner, there wasn't much you could cook with the limited stuff you still had in the cabinets but something was better than nothing. You get ready to turn and leave when he speaks. 

"I-I really like this puzzle... Do you have any more? This one was really easy..." He asks and you turn to find him meekly looking at you before turning his attention back to the puzzle.

"Um...I have puzzle games on the computer," you say nodding into the direction of the desk. He looks down at his lap and twists the box in his hands some more. You turn to leave again, not liking the awkward feeling this was leaving on you when Sans speaks again.

"...Your art is really nice, I really like your style." He quickly says and you turn back around to look at him a little surprised as he looks at some of the ones taped next to the window by the bed. You never thought anything highly of your work. You were only ever able to produce generic over done things in them.

"Thank you..." 

"Who taught you to draw?" 

"I'm self-taught actually..." Getting the sense that he wanted some company you move away from your spot at the door and slowly walk in to sit at the desk, you didn't like when people would try to force interactions with you but you know you both needed this, seeing as how to he was going to be staying here for a while. You honestly didn't _have to._ But after seeing him like that earlier...You knew what it was like to have all of those worrysome thoughts and what they would do to you when you couldn't ease your stress let alone just talk them out, he wanted to break that tension and get to know you even if you had no interest in it. He needed to know what kind of person you were. 

"Wow really, that's amazing! Did you do the painting on the ceiling too?" He asks. You lean back in the seat as you get a better look at him.

Sans looked better.

You could practically see the magical aura radiating off of him from his spot on the bed. The gross looking stains and grime that covered his bones was gone and were now spotless and stork white. The nicks and scrapes weren't as pronounced as before either, his feet even looked better. No longer brittle broken looking but instead like fine porcelain. The dark circles under his eyesockets were gone too.

 _What was in that body wash?._..

"Yeah, bout a year ago..." You replied.

You had heard sleeping heals monsters hp a lot too and you don't think he's ever gotten descent sleep since being on the surface. You're eyes roam over the clothes he was wearing that you gave to him, glad to see that the clothes fit him alright too, good thing his bones were very thick. You glance over at the dresser to find his old clothes folded neatly and placed on top of it and look back to him. 

That collar around his neck though...

You wish you could remove it, he wasn't a pet. You'd have to wait until after his new ownership papers were up to date before you could. But for the mean time, you could hide it with scarves or turtle necks or something. You didn't want to be reminded that he was your property. 

"That's so cool! How'd you do it??"he asks and you shrug.

"Just got the idea to paint my ceiling one day... Thought it be nice to see stars," you say and you see pinpricks of light slowly start to come into view. "Was super hard to do on a ladder though..." 

"My brother is really good at art too!" He suddenly says trying to fill the silence again and you blink. 

He has a brother?

"He helped me paint a rock formation to look like a real wooden bridge back in the underground." 

"That's neato...what happened to your brother if you don't mind me asking?" His smile falters and his eye lights disappear, he looks down at his lap again and doesn't say anything and you mentally punch yourself in the throat for asking and look down at nothing. 

"He...got separated from me..." He said gloomy and stays silent for a few moments before speaking up again.

"..Um...Why do you have so many prescription bottles on the dresser, are you sick?" You bring your eyes back up to him to see him looking at the pill bottles that littered the dresser.

"Oh.. No I have insomnia, I take medication for it..." He gives you a questioning look and seems like he wants to ask something but doesn't. He just stares at you seeming deep in thought.

"...all of that is to help you sleep?" He asks lightly.

"Some of them are for other things... They aren't mine." 

He looks a little surprised "Does someone else live here?" 

"...No, just me..." You say and he quickly looks away and starts fidgiting with the box in his hands as he looks out the window.

God, he probably thought you were a drug addict. You decide to fill him in a little and give him at least some minor information about you.

"I used to take care of my great aunty, I did nursing care for her a couple of years ago...She actually owned this house before she passed away. She let me use her medication sometimes..they're just pain killers..." You say looking off to the side at nothing in particular and he oh's. You should have cleared your more private stuff while he was in the shower. It's quiet between the two of you again and he starts to play catch with the small box, it lands in his hands with small clacks each time his bones come in contact with the wood. He fumbles it when you get up and it slips away from him as it thuds to the floor and bounces under the bed. He apologises, quickly getting up and goes to grab it.

"...what's this box here?" His voice was muffled.

"The one you dropped.." You say sarcastically. You knew it was a bit rude but didn't care at the moment. 

"No this...not that one." He pulls out from underneath the bed with the puzzle box and an medium size box in his hand and your eyes widen.

"Is this full of more medicine?" 

_Oh fuck! You forgot about that!_

"Y-you know you really cleaned up nicely Sans,You look so handsome." you say, ignoring how hot your face suddenly got and force a smile. Jumping at your sudden volume Sans turns to you and you wiggle your eyebrows at him.

"w-what?..." he looks around as if to find someone else that in the room you could have been possibly talking to. 

"I said you're very handsome... Really you are." You smile becomes less forced and try to look at him sweetly but you were sure you were making a weird face, because his expression becomes uncomfortable as his cheeks tint with blue and he gets up, setting the box down on the edge of the bed. You feel your heart jump into your throat when it starts to slowly fall. 

"Uh..Mweh heheh! O-of course I am! When you're as magnificent as me how could you not be!" He closed his eyesockets close and places a hand on his chest and other hand on his hip as he posed, but sounded as if he were trying to play it off cool.

You made him uncomfortable.You know you did...

Forcing a giggling as anxiety rumbles in your gut. The lid starts to slip open, and you take a quick step towards the bed in an attempt to stop it, making him flinch back as his eye sockets went wide. He quickly mumbles something as he puts his hands up almost defensively and move away from the bed a little. 

"What was that?" you look back to him to see him looking down at his feet and fidgeting with his phalanges and avoiding your gaze.

"I-I said umh.. You're very handsome yourself..." He stuttered quietly and your weird smile drops.

_Handsome._

He thought you where _handsome...You're a girl! girls don't get called handsome!_

 _"_...th..thanks." Your tone must have gave away your displeasure of the 'compliment' because he looks up at you worriedly but you ignore it. You just need a distraction to get him away from the box and pray to the heavens that you will.You walk up to him slowly and he straightens up as you place your hands behind your back you smirk at him. You hear him swallow thickly and looks deeply uncomfortable now.

God what were you doing... You just wanted to get the box, now you're making him scared and about to humiliate yourself. You get ready to make a dumb joke, when your stomach rumbles loudly and the both of you look down to your grumbling belly.

 _Thank you lord_.

"Ah well.. Guess I should get dinner started." You say pushing past him and snatching up the box and head out quickly into the room down the hall to the office room. Yanking the closet door open you toss it behind the sleeping bag on the shelf inside and sigh as you head back out to go into the kitchen. Just when your half way out the hall you stop and call back to him.

"UHHH QUICK QUESTION BONES! "You turn to find him at the bedroom door already.

"Do you eat?..."

He stares at you nodding slowly.

"Dank old guy? Did he.. Like ever feed you anything special you were supposed to have?" He shakes his head no and you're a little relived. You knew monsters usually ate magic food but had no idea what skeletons eat.

"When was the last time you've eaten?... " His hands when now twisting in the front of his shirt and looked down at his slippers.

"...two weeks ago.. " he mumbles still not looking at you and your mouth drops open. 

 _TWO FUCKING WEEKS!?_ That evil piece of shit has been starving him! You don't feel hungry anymore instead feel rage boiling in your chest. You wanted to hunt that bastard down and beat the shit out of him for neglecting him like this.

"I only ate because... I stole it..I-i know stealing is wrong but I was so hungry and I couldn't help myself. He caught me before I could finish it but I'm fine really!.. Skeletons don't need to eat much..." he said nervously. Eye lights are gone now and fat tears started to gather in his eye sockets threatening to spill and you quickly calm down when you notice he's trembling. He must have thought you were mad at him. No way could you ever be mad at him for that! He was starving!

"Sweety no...That's not right. " you say gently and march up to him grabbing his hand gently. He looks up at you eye lights returning but aren't the bright stars you had been seeing and instead just white pin pricks.

"You can eat human food right?.."

"Yes but it takes a lot of energy to stomach it.."

You smile."C'mon. We'll go out to eat instead, ok? I know a few places that serve monster food." you say pulling him along. You didn't mind eating out right now... It's a small reward for what you did today and he probably hasn't had anything good in a while. 

He stares at you for a moment.

"I don't have much here at the house...we can get anything you want." You say with a smile.

" _R..really_?" he says quickly in mild shock.

"Yep"

He blinks."Anything I want?..."

"Yeah"

"Can I have a glass of milk?..."he said testing and you look at him weirdly.

"That all you want? You can have way more than that man."

"CAN I HAVE TACOS??" His voice was suddenly back to its natural tone.

"Sure"

"A-AND CINNIBUNNIES?? "

"As many as you want." You smile.

"AND NICECREAM??" he starts excitedly bouncing up and down grabbing your arm, his starry eyes back shinning brightly.

"I'll grab my keys."

He excitedly fist pumps as you leave to grab your car keys and hugs you tightly the moment you step out of the room into the hall making you stiffen. 

" _Thank you_." He says quietly and you blink, looking at the side of his skull before gently patting him on his back and he pull back to look at you with a smile that reached his eye sockets and you feel your stomach flutter as soft burning eyelights look at you. You quickly look away as you feel yourself start to blush. 

 _That smile_...

He let's go apologizing and you tell him it's ok giving him a pat on the shoulder before the two of you head out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's probably a bad idea to let him have too much sugar but how could you say no? Updates are seriously only based on comments.


	5. Morning Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans eats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update baby! This girl is on a role. I honestly wanted to just get this posted so I can work on my other fics for a while.

"I used to come here a lot with my boyfriend." You say as you park and turning off while looking at the cafe. A few people were walked by, some heading in and others passing as they head into recently opened shops. This area had changed a bit on this side of town since you've last been here, it looked a lot more like the shops on Webster Street in Alameda now but much newer. The book store next door looked like a cafe now. But that had a lot to do with it merging with the diner after the complex went into new ownership.

"They've got bunch of monster foods but I've never really tried an-."

"YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND!?" He yells making you flinch away from him and squint quirking a brow at him. He sounded surprised and...really disappointed?

"I'm not _that_ bad Sans, damn..." You joke looking out of the window in fake hurt and then into your rear view mirror smoothing down a few out of place hairs before glancing at him. He looked at you confused and you sigh.

"Had. Pass tense. He passed away last year."

"O-OH..I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO-"

"It's alright you were just curious...we loved to spend time here, The foods really good too." You say.

"..What happened?..." He looked at you curiously. You feel your chest clench as memories start to flood your mind from the last time the two of you came here and frown.

"...Same thing that happened with us... Stuck his nose into other peoples business...Got shot in the head instead of a slave though..." You grumble out bitterly and Sans gasps.

"O-oh no... _I'm so sorry_ -" He slowly reached to touch your shoulder but you give him a glare out the corner of your eye and he freezes slowly pulling back and you sigh. You shouldn't be upset at him he was just curious...

"...It's ok..." You sigh, and look him over before taking off your seat belt you unzipped you blue and purple pastel hoodie with a white star pattern and throw it at him, leaving you in only your grey long sleeve and black destroyed shorts. "Put this on, it'll be cold in there. They always go nuts with the ac during summer.."

"B-BUT THIS IS YOURS!" He yelled at you as if you told him to wear your panties...

_Geeze... He was already wearing your clothes anyways what was his deal?_

"Something wrong with me Sansy? I'm not as gross as I look..." He doesn't say anything and just stares at it.

"You worried about your masculinity or something bone boy? It's unisex, and it matches your cute eyes." He looks at you for a long while and you node for him to put it on then shifts to stick his arms through, zipping it up then and sank into the hood to hide his blush. It looked really cute on him.. You should let him keep it. You both get out of the refreshing cool air of the car, the warm summer night air washes over you warming your skin and you close the door. You hear the passenger shut and press the butten to lock the doors, you start walking but when you're half way to the dinner you turn to look at him when you don't hear his foot steps. He's still standing by the car with his hands deep in the hoodies pockets staring at you with empty sockets. You wave for him to follow you. He doesn't move from his spot. Sighing you walk back until you're next to him.

"What's wrong?" You ask, but he doesn't speak. 

"You worried about the people? It's ok it's monster friendly. They have monster food here and a lot of monsters come here too." You point over to a few patrons in the window as a fox and cat monster chat along while eating with their owners.

"You won't have to worry about anything, its safe here." You give him a pat on the shoulder and grab his hand giving him an reassuring nod in the direction of the diner and the two of you head to it. Before you open the door Sans stops and you look over your shoulder at him.

"What? Not hungry now?...Look I'm not upset about what you asked, I was just caught off guard with that." He's quiet for a minute, he starts to fidget with the sleeves of his borrowed hoodie before he speaks again.

"No it's not that..I-i-im mean I'm sorry for that but it's.....(Y/n)?..Is this... _a-are_ _we on a date_?" He asks and you balk at him.

"No...just lunch." You say bluntly and he looks disappointed, then looks off to the side.

"O-oh..." He says, and stops fidgeting with his sleeves. 

"Do you want it to be?" You ask smirking and he blushes deeply stammering avoiding your eye gaze and rubs the back of his head before sighing and saying yes. You chuckle.

"Guess we're dating now." You joke turning to open the door. You don't see his face surprised face slowly light up and his smile reaching his eye sockets. 

As soon as you walk in the sweet and savory scent of pastries and food fills your nose and you feel your stomach rumble again as your mouth waters. You hear Sans wow beside you as he looks around the cafe, a few monsters and humans chatting along in the comfortable atmosphere. You missed this. Seeing people like this, no one looked unfriendly or like they wished they were somewere else like other places. You're greeted by a familiar voice you haven't heard in a long time. "Hello welcome, I'll be with you in a momen- _(y/n)!?"_  An anthropomorphic spider boy yells from behind the counter dropping the plates occupying three of his hands and they crash to the floor scattering the food that was once on them.

"Oh _what the hell!?"_ An angered woman's voice yells from the kitchen door and a woman made of what looked to be _flan?_ Looks at the mess on the floor. You look back at him to find all eight of his purple and black eyes widening when you awkwardly wave to him from the entrance. You had known the waiter for a while and had become good friends with the sweetheart before monsters became slaves. He would always give you free drinks whenever you and Jd came in saying he'd just take it out of the tip jar when you retorted. Jd would just pay for it after you left though, they were best friends and he'd always joked about Kumos name pointing out how it was ironic that he had the same name of a Kaiju from an old Japanese movie. A lot of humans tended to avoid him for his looks but he was the sweetest soul you have ever met, he couldn't even hurt a fly.

But as sweet as Kumo was...He was scary. Especially when he jumps over a counter from across the room and up to you in 2.5 seconds. "Hi K" You say and awkwardly with a wry smile looking up at the towering spider monster as he glares down at you. Four of his arms folded across his broad chest and two hands resting on his hips his fangs clicking. He was obviously mad but looks cross between hugging you to death and scolding you. He does both. You're snatched up off the ground and you sharply gasp as he pulled you into him.

"Where have you been!? I haven't seen you in ages, I've been so worried about you, sweety!" He says as he nearly crushes your rib cage as four strong arms wrap around your torso and two more lifting you up by the backs of your thick thighs moving them to warp around his hips. His hands running over the exposed skin squeezing into the soft flesh alarmingly close to your ass cheeks in a brutal bear hug. You blush as your cheek and breasts squish against his hard chest. You notice a blinking light and look up to the collar that now rested around his neck and frown confused a bit to why it would be, but made a guess. As sweet as Kumo was he was a bit.. _handsy_..

You've more than a few times yelled at him when he picked you up for placing his hands and cuping you in inappropriate areas. He's always had a habit of doing it when speaking to people a lot shorter than him, which was basically anyone especially humans. You didn't know anyone else that was 7ft tall. Apparently in between the legs was like an armpit to him _somehow._  

'Humans are all so small and squishy though! Especially you, I can't help but want to snatch you up and wrap you in my web for later.'  he'd joke and would of course profusely apologize when to you'd scold him stating that he didn't know human anatomy too much. 

" _Well!?_ " He shakes you and you push against his chest to try to look up at him.

"Y-you know...a-around.." You say and he sighs through his nose before pulling you away from his chest to look at you wrly. 

"(Y/n)...babe.. _I thought you killed yourself_..." He whispers quietly to you and your eyes widen as he brings one of his left hands to gently stroke your cheek. His purple set of eyes look deep into you (e/c) ones and you squint at him.

_Who told-_

"-Oliver told me..."

_You should have known that blabber mouth said something. He didn't need to know about that and you didn't want him to._

Kumo frowns and looks a little hurt as his purple eyes search yours. "...Told me they said you stopped showing up for work and no one could get a hold of you-" His voice wavers a bit and eyebrows knit together. 

"I didn't want to be there anymore..." 

"You could have at least told _someone_ how you were feeling." He hisses as his grip on you tightens.

 _Why was he pretending to care... It's not like he did in the past_. Kumos purple eyes widen as his mouth falls open a little.

" _I care. I cared back then too..."_ he says. You glare at him wishing that he'd spot invading the privacy of your mind and all of his eyes look away from you off to the side in guilt, landing on Sans and his worried expression changes when he notices the skeleton giving him a solum look.

"...Who's this fella?" he asks and slowly sets you down on the floor resting two of his hands on your shoulders, two on your waist as the hands on your thighs slide up to your hips. You glance over to Sans as he gives you a deeply bothered but questioning look. You know how it must have looked to him and anyone else for that matter from how Kumo was touching you, but it really was just how he talked with people. 

"T-This is Sans, my new roommate. I wanted to treat him to the best food on this side of town." You say smoothing out your shirt and shorts. Kumo breaks his studying eye contact with Sans to look between the two of you. 

".. _Uh huh.. Roommate_.."He said giving Sans a once over from head to toe skeptically as Sans glares up at him. His talon like fangs clicking. You didn't like that. You knew where this was already going and you weren't about to let it happen. 

"It's really nice seeing you Kumo. Love to catch up right now but i'm sure you're busy with work." You say and pull Sans along with you towards the counter.

"So rude (y/n).." He sighs rolling four of his eyes while the other four stare down at you and crosses his arms knowing he won't get another word out of you until you got your food. You and Sans are seated with your menus at the bar and order. He's a little taken back with all the things Sans orders and gives you a questioning glance with each item he asks for, to which you shoot him a thumbs up and he shrugs. A few moments later he comes back with the food.

"Thankies~"You chime and Sans dig into his food.

"Now tell me whats been up." he demands, as he places a nicecream shake down in front of Sans. 

"...." you prop you head on your hand poking at some of the hot fries on your plate not looking at him.

"Sweetheart, please... You know I'm here for you..so is olive... We've been so worried about you... I know it's been hard since Jd died.. But we just want you to know we care about you. It's not good to close yourself off from the world. That's not what he would have wanted.." He says putting two of his right hands on your shoulder as he leans against the bar. His collar blinks again before he sighs and removes them.

_Guess he was ordered to keep his hands to himself._

"Just know that we love you (y/n).." K finishes and walks back to the kitchen.

Whatever....

You feel your chest tighten and ripple painfully and you shovel your food into your mouth. Sans stares at you out the corner of his eye socket.

* * *

 Seeing Sans eat weirded you out and amazed you at the same time. You were more than amazed to see him open his mouth more than a few centimeters. Hell, You didn't think he could, seeing that he never even opened it to talk. You definitely didn't expect to see fangs and a glowing blue tongue of all things when he took a bite of the first cinnibunnie and let out a small moan of delight. You watched in disbelief expecting it to fall out the bottom of his mandible but it didn't.

"Do that again!" You said as he polished off the first one and he looked at you strangely as if you'd never seen someone eat before. It was so cool seeing it and you didn't dare think of stopping him when he reached four of them, two doughnuts, a large glass of spider cider, and two nicecreams shakes. Nor did you say anything when he sucked on a few ketchup packets from your fries to top it all off. Thought that was kind of weird bit you did the same thing with honey sometimes so you didn't judge. He asked for a few more pastries off the menu and you ordered a few another burger and large fries instead.

"Too much sugar will make you sick." You said shoving a couple of fries in your mouth swallowing and reaching for long wobbly one and sucking the salt off. When he retorted about greasy food being revolting along with bad for you too, you stare at him removing the fry from your mouth then plucking some off the plate and shoving them in his and giggle when he hums pleasantly at the taste. When his food came He damn near inhaled it as soon as it was set down making kumo smile. Once the both of you are finished You thank Kumo for the meal.

"Please take care of yourself sweety..." He says and you nod and leave a large tip along with your phone number. He quickly tucks them away in his slacks before anyone can see and you turn to leave with Sans.

"And have fun with your _boyfriend!_  You two look great together by the way!~" He teases you turn to glare at him as you both walk towards the door and Sans flushes bright blue slowly wrapping his arm around your plump waist. You turn to squint at him as the two of you walk.

He didn't really see this as a date right? You were joking!

A handful of patrons turn to stare at you two. A few whispering and others giggling.

_'She's dating her slave...'_

_'Aw they're a couple? That's so cute!'_

_'How do they like..do it..?'_

_'You'd think she'd know better than to be open about it in public...'_

"God please strike me down now..." You mutter under your breath face palming out of embarrassment. 

* * *

You really shouldn't have been surprised when sans barfed all over the dashboard of your car 8 minutes later after you pulled off. Seeing a skeleton throw up magic food was... _pretty_.. Glittering purple and bluish green swirls spewed from his mouth covering your dashboard in a weird slime almost making you crash into a stop sign and you pulled over to clean it up. But before you could it evaporated into a weird sparkling vapor leaving a strangely sweet, spicy burnt smell behind. So here you were now with a very sick monster hunched over on the side of the road rubbing small circles in his back as he puked up what was left of his dinner holding a water bottle you got out of the trunk for him to drink when he was done.

"I'm sorry.." he said huffing." I d-idn't mean to waste my food..."

"No, no, it's ok, it's ok! You just over did it a little..." you say and he pukes some more.

"...How are you even puking right now? I thought you didn't have a stomach. Is it like...invisible or something? Do you have invisible guts?" you ask a little excitedly.

_That'd be so cool!_

"Guts?..." he makes a face a disgust. "D-don't be silly. Monster food is different than human food, didn't you know that? It's made...*huff* o-of magic and..my body absorbs it and turns it into energy j-j-ust l-like your food does for you. But.. If.I-uhg..e-eat too much i-it *huffs* b-builds uh-up a-and I-*vomits*.

"Oh.." You're a little disappointed.

"O-hh god.... Please-n-never..l-let me eat like that again!"

"....No prob bob..." The two of you are quiet as he stays hunched over huffing, not wanting to upset his body more. "Hey Sans?...You know you can eat every day right? Seriously, like anything you want to as long as it doesn't make you sick...I know You're worried about not having a meal again in the future but you don't have to worry about that, ok?"

"...." You see him make another skeptical face. 

"...Let's get you home buddy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kumo finds most humans adorable and sees them like how we see puppies or kittens. When he calls reader babe or baby for him that like calling a dog pup or puppy.


	6. Not A Good Person

You drove home with the windows down so Sans could get some fresh air, you'd peek at him every now and then to make sure he was still awake, worried that if he went to sleep something would happen.

 

 

You don't know what that something was, you were just worried. He had been quiet the entire ride back.

You knew that he might get hungry again when his stomach finally calmed down you picked up a few tacos and a Canada dry soda from a burrito truck on the way home. He had threw up two more times before you made it back to the house which left him more fatigued. He was already empty before this er... Well he's a skeleton so he's always empty but Energy wise.

Through the corners of your eyes you watch him as he hangs on your shoulder for support, weakly dragging his feet along stopping every few seconds to huff as if ready to puke again.

".. You aren't...going to like die or anything from so much stored up magic lose, right?" He said he hadn't eaten in weeks, and when he finally had the chance to he puked all of it up not 10 minutes after he finished eating. He had to be aching right now. You didn't know how magic worked for monsters but you knew that stress on the body like that wasn't good on anyone from some of the patients you had with eating disorders.

You think back to all of the foods he scarfed down, it could have just been from too many sweets so suddenly, he hadn't really eat the burger you ordered for him he only nibbled on it a bit.

"N..n-no..I jus need to rest for a bit...jus havn had sweets in so long... " He rasps and you hum, sometimes when you stop eating certain foods after a long period of time and ate them again they either didn't taste the same or made you sick.

Passing the kitchen you carefully toss the brown paper bag onto the counter and help him into the bedroom. Opening the door you hear him woah weakly as he looks around the room at the shimmering lights that softly illuminated the cream walls and ceiling. The stringed star and fairy lights had come on, their automatic timer setting them off once it was night fall. The warm white of the stringed stars gently strobes in waves in unison with the blue and purple fairy lights at swirled along the walls and ceiling. You had placed them in an attempt to make constellations.

 

"It almost reminds me of waterfall..." He says and you look at him curiously as you help him over to the bed. He places his hands on the soft mattress and leans forward kicking off his shoes before sluggishly crawling onto it and turning over to flop down groaning as he spreads out like a starfish.

"Whats waterfall?" You ask him as you set your keys down on the desk.

"It was this place in the underground full of bio-luminescent gems and crystals, so is the water and mushrooms too..."

That sounded nice...it was probably really pretty you think as you go to close the curtains. Now that you were finally back home you feel you could feel the weight of the day pulling you down. You handnt even really done  anything but leave the house twice.. But it was still a lot more than you were used to... and way more than you wanted it to be and you were exhausted, yet wide awake at the same time. You just wanted to go lay down and be alone for a while. Turning to leave out you give Sans a glance. He looked tired too. You hoped he wouldn't throw up anymore but just in case you should go grab a bucket. 

Monster puke apparently stains...

"(Y/n)?...."

"Just going to grab you some more water and a bucket just in case." you leave out and head to the kitchen. Once youre there you sigh rubbing your eyes just stand there at the counter blankly staring at the space in front of you replaying everything that's happened today...

 

Nothing bad really happened per say and... You actually _helped_ someone...

_You actually helped someone for once but...why did you feel like this?_

 

 

This troubled depressive feeling.

 

 

You stand there just thinking about the events of today over and over trying to figure out why.

 

 

_You helped someone..._

 

_And now you were responsible for them._

 

 

You had a responsibility, not some small one like watering a plant or watching a house but taking care of someone. Actually taking care of them. Having to provide for them? and nurture them?

 

 

_You couldn't even do that for yourself._

 

 

Hell you still couldn't even stop yourself from self-abuse, and what was he going to do when you started messing up again. He didn't know you or your habits, he wouldn't know what to do if you did do something to yourself or started having anxiety attacks, and with him around you already knew they'd just be a reoccouring thing. It wasn't so simple for you to deal with as telling him to just go outside and wait until you calmed down. You'd stay like that for hours some times.

 

 

You're eyes start to blur as they unfocused.

 

 

_Why did you bring him home with you..._

 

 

_You were an unstable mess you couldn't have him here with you_.

Sure it had only been a couple of days since you last had your... _calm time_ , but you knew yourself. You knew any little thing would set you off and you'd relapse. And what was he supposed to do if he found you in a blood filled bathtub unconscious.

Call the police and tell them what? " _This girl i just met and was given to killed herself"?_  They wouldn't believe that.. Monsters were always of suspect in the eye of the law and regardless of evidence or not he'd be prosecuted and put to death for it. And you still needed to go to the court house to legally get custody of him, which wasn't going to be easy since he was just thrown at you to keep, you're starting to think that that old bastard was out on the street probably trying to sell him, why else would he have his documents like that?

You really didn't want him..

You pull out your phone and swipe through your contacts until the name Jolien pops up and your thumb hovers over the call button... You could give him to her, you knew she adored monsters and was decent enough to treat them like actual people. She was one of the two people that actually liked you back when you were working there. He'd like her, she was a kind person. But you still needed to get his papers in check first before you could otherwise he could be taken away.

And you didn't want to put him through something like that. You'd saw all the stories of what they did with them once the state had them. They treated them like property that the bank to owned

 

but..

 

 

...

 

 

_He can't stay..._

 

 

_You need to tell him..._

 

 

_You can't be responsible for him._

 

 

You put the phone away and grab a water bottle from under the bar counter and go to grab a bucket from under the sink and head back into the room, he was still laying in the same position but now had a pillow under his skull.

His dim eyelights give you a glance as you place the bucket next to the bed and the bottle on the nightstand.

 

 

_You should tell him now..._

 

 

Your stomach cringes at the thought.

 

 

But you had to..

 

_Just rip it off like a band-aid._

 

 

You look at him again and he's still watching you, it looks like he wants to say something but doesn't. Your thoughts flood back to when you first met him just hours ago today and how gut-wrenching pathetic he looked. Just broken.

_So broken_.

Looking at him now he seemed...just... Calm. Not relaxed but just ok enough to be able to not have to worry about the next few hours. 

 

Just letting things sink in like they did for you

 

 

 

_You can't do it._

 

 

You'd let him stay for a few more days to make sure he could gets some proper sleep and have decent meals, but that's it.

 

"Get some rest ok?" You turn to leave out.

"(Y/n)?" His voice came out so small that you quickly look back at him, he's not looking at you anymore and just staring at the ceiling.

"Can... I sleep with you tonight?..or can.. You...Just... _stay_ please?..." You glance back towards the hall. You really didn't want to. You only wanted to be in your own space for the rest of the night.

"I'm scared that if i go to sleep tonight and..when i wake up I'll be back with.." tears start to form in his sockets before he closes his sockets. "(y/n) you don't understand..." His voice croaked "It's only been a few hours since I've met you and I'm the happiest I've ever been in _years_..and I'm so scared that this isn't actually happening right now... It feels so wrong.. All of this.. Having a home? Being aloud to stay _inside_ the house for once, New clothes and my own room again? Getting to eat real food again? Not just stolen scraps for the dog or having to beg for it just to get _l-laughed_ at.." His voice wavers. "Having this now..I-I don't feel like I deserve any of it.." He pauses just staring up at the ceiling and blinks as he breaths calmly through his vomer bone.

" _I'm scared just telling you this..._ It all feels so temporary, and i don't know what will happen tomorrow.. I don't e-even want to think about it." his voice came out barely above a whisper towards the end and his tears start to fall down the sides of his face.

"Since our queen was killed we've been told that we didn't deserve anything. That we couldn't have anything. And all the people i was with before you..i-i didn't...." He brings his hands up to cover his eye sockets with his palms, sniffling hard before letting out a huff in an attempt to calm himself and clearing his nonexistent throat and swallows as he removes his hands to rest at his sides again.

" _I just wanted to die_..." He rasps and more tears fall down his face. "(y/n) when I met you I was so scared...I thought..." He's quiet as he lays there with lidded sockets breathing calmly.

" _but I kept my HoPe that you would be kind to me and you proved that to me in just 20 minutes of meeting me. You have no idea how happy that makes me..But..I'm so scared that this isn't really happening right now. what's even more terrifying to me is.. I was so close to losing all of my HoPe right before you came along. I was abouh-h-hey don't c-cry, please..."_

You couldn't help it.

You knew where he was going with this.

He was wrong..

He was so wrong about you.

You were a terrible person deep down and you felt sick hearing this appraisal. Anger slowly boils inside you as hot tears fall down your face.

 

 

 

You can't look at him.

 

 

 

With all that he's been going through and you were seriously just going to yank it all away from him just because you didn't want to at least try to get your shit together.

"I'm sorry..." you sniffle wiping away tears. "I'm fine. It's ok, let me just change my clothes, ok?" you feel your stomach twist as your anxiety comes back. He's quiet. Seemingly stares through you for a moment before mumbling an ok. Heading to your room you close the door gently and lock it sliding down it sobbing quietly as you can as you face twists up and tears fall from bloodshot eyes.

 

You can't do this.

 

 

 

You didn't want to do any of this.

 

 

 

You only made things worst and all you'd do is fuck up his life even more. You can't take care of him. All you did was get his hopes up just to eventually leave him alone one day with nothing.


	7. Distaste

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhyye didn't... try.. with ...this one.... as much as i should have......

Yanking off your clothes you go to the dresser and grab your pajama bottoms and a different long-sleeved shirt and put them on. Sniffling you turn to look at yourself in the mirror and your stomach twists again.you looked as worn out as you felt, your hair was frizzed and tangled your face was oily, your eyes looked tired and sunken and your lips were dry.

 

You grab a hair tie and pull your hair back into a small ponytail, not bothering to grab a scarf to wrap it, it didn't matter anyways it was already in bad shape from not being taken care of. Sniffling again you wipe away your tears and pull off your socks tossing them in the corner with the rest of your day clothes. You give yourself one last look in the mirror before leaving out and just stand in the hallway sighing as you slowly close the door. You just needed to forget for now. "H-hey!.." Your voice wavers and you clear your throat.

"Hey Sans!"You call to the back room.

"Yes?" His voice was muffled.

"Let's watch a movie!" He doesn't reply but you hear small footsteps come towards the hallway and a second later he's standing in the bedroom door with his hand placed on the doorway looking at you curiously, his permagrin was lowered into a straight line and eyelights dim. "You want to watch a movie?" You ask and he just stares at you. You just needed a distraction from your thoughts for a while until you could just go to sleep.

"I'll let you pick if you want."you say and he nods slightly.

"Come on well watch in the living room ok? You can grab the blanket off the bed if you want." He nods again turning to get the blanket and you head into the living room, you reach over the back of the couch to grab the remote and turn on the tv. Throwing it back on the couch as the news starts to blare you head into the kitchen to reheat his food and grab a cup of noodles to eat for yourself.

"Do you think you feel hungry again?" You call to sans from the kitchen as you dig into the bag and grab his food, it was still hot so you leave it in the bag and move onto your food. He doesn't answer.

'- _Looking ahead to the five day forecast the temperatures will lower towards the weekend. Not by much but we could have a nice weather pattern into next week. Coming up next Rising house coasts in Walnut Creek and a massive fire at a bar killing three and leave twelve others injured in Roseville, believed to be started by a fire monster_ -'

You head back into the living room to quickly change the channel not wanting to hear any more. Everything that had been on the news lately was biased beliefs and stretched truths. Turning on Netflix you switch to the movie selections and head back into the kitchen to heat your noodles. Sans comes back out a moment later with the blanket from the bed rolled up in his arms as he watches you.

"Think you feel like eating?..."you ask uncertain.

He needed to eat something at least...

He nods silently as he eyes the cup of noodles in your hand and you reach over to the bag on the counter handing it to him. He looks surprised thinking that he was going to get what you had for yourself and slowly takes it opening it and his brow bones raise a little. "I stopped at a food truck when you fell asleep.."

You nod over to the tv. "You can pick whatever you want..." He looks at you still surprised and glances back at the tv before slowly walking over to place the blanket down then comes back to the counter when you stop him.

"You can eat over there, it's ok." He nods heading back and sits in the middle of the couch placing his bag on the coffee table in front of it and grabs the remote looking at you unsure as if waiting for you to give him the go ahead. You turn to add water promptly ignoring the do not microwave sign on the side of the cup and pop it in the microwave. You hear French music playing.

' _Although each of the worlds countries would like to dispute this fact, We French know the truth: That the best food in the world is made in France, the best food in France is made in Paris, and the best food in Paris, some say, is made by Chef Auguste Gusteau.-'_

You recognized that quote, it was from one of your favorite movies by Pixar. 

You turn to see Ratatouille playing on the tv and hear the paper bag crumble under his phalanges as he opens it up and pulls out the foil wrapped food. The microwave digs and you grab a fork from the dish rack and open the microwave to get your food. You watch him as he takes a small bite and slowly chews this time and place your food on the coffee table along with his soda and go to close the curtains, and flop over the back of the couch into your seat surprising him when you're done. Folding your feet under you and grabbing your food and making yourself comfortable. You try to ignore the anxiety slowly building inside of you and try to focus on the movie. You lean into the arm of the couch and sigh reaching for the remote to turn up the volume.

'- _Ameil, Ameil, I found a mushroom.' The rat calls to his brother as he waves the yellow mushroom in his paw. 'C'mon you're good at hiding things!'_

Out of the corner of your eye you see him turn his skull to look at you. 

You ignore him and stare ahead at the tv as you blow on your noodles before taking a bite. After a few more moments he turns back to the tv and leans back into the couch making himself more comfortable.

40 minutes into the movie Sans has fallen asleep, you only noticed that he was due to the soft snores you could hear coming from him. You glance over to look at him, he was he was slouched almost on you with the blanket pulled just above his clavicle and his arms out at his sides. Through drowsy eyes, you continue to watch the movie until it finishes and decide to watch Finding Nemo, you were tired but didn't feel like sleeping. 

Your mind won't stop racing but you try to focus on the movie. It goes off and you start another one.

You fall asleep.

When you open your eyes again its dark, you don't remember when you fell asleep but glance at the clock to see it's 3:57 am, at some point you laid down. slowly inhaling through your nose as you get ready to yawn and stretch but tense when you feel a heavy weight on top of you and the blanket pulled over his head. Sighing you gently place a hand on his back to rub it and he snuggles into you, it felt nice and you relax into the couch bringing your hand up to rest on his head. He was out cold,

you know he's had a rough day...

You pull the blanket down from over his head and gasp jolting when a skeletal face greats your eyes. 

R-right...

 _Sans_. 

_You thought it was..._

Frowning you just stare at him as he drools on your chest. It felt wrong to wake him up after yesterday...it almost reminded you of the time your niece fell asleep on you. 

Closing your eyes you try to relax and soon fall asleep again. 

* * *

When you wake up its bright, you squint your eyes open looking around to see that you're alone in the living room still on the couch. The blanket is still on top of you but the heavy weight was gone, sitting up on your elbows you groan as your back pops and cracks as you look at the time. It's 7:23 am. you look into the kitchen to find the dishes cleaned and the counter wiped down. He didn't need to do that, you didn't want him to.

Plopping back down you bring your hands up to your face to rub your eyes and just lay there. You don't feel like doing anything so you just lay there.

You don't know how long its been but you stay there with your eyes closed for what feels like 40 minutes you couldn't sleep even though you still felt tired so you just didn't bother getting up. You hear sans quietly walking around through the house, he comes into the living room every now and again and feel his eyes on you as you just lay there before leaving out again. When he comes back after the ninth time he speaks. "U-uhm...(y/n)?..." Your eyes open and shift over to him to find him meekly standing there as his eye lights avert from you. "I-I'm hungry..." He says almost as if it were forbidden and you sigh. He recoils a little and mutters a barely audible ' _that's ok_ ' and you sit up.

" of course you are.." You rasp as you scratch the back of your neck with a finger. " You threw up more than you ate." You joke and he doesn't say anything when you glance over at him, he's looking at the ground with empty eye sockets as he fidgets with the heim of his shirt. Does he still think you're not going to feed him?

"Gemme ten more minutes and well go grab some breakfast ok?" You sigh as you stretch and he's quiet.

"... _.I....i-it's 2:17...._ " He says quietly and you look back at him with raised eyebrows.

 _You laid there for that long? Shit_.

You get up and twist your back making it pop some more. "Oh damn... Alright, let me just wash up and get dressed and well go ok?" He looks back up at you as you grab the blanket to put it back in the room. You needed to go grocery shopping too...

"What do you feel like eating?..." 

"Um.. I-i'm fine with whatever you give me, I won't be ungrateful..." He says quietly as if worried he'd overstep some boundary and you feel your stomach twist. "We'll stop by Black Bear Dinner before we go grocery shopping ok? They have a lot of Monster food on their menus too and serve breakfast all day. 

"O-ok." He says a little more confidently and follows you to the back room.

Today was going to be bad... You could already feel it.

 


	8. Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shopping doesn't go so great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More generic trash.

Standing at the entrance of the grocery store you try to talk yourself out of just leaving right now. "Grab whatever you want or..." You gesture to his body. "Need for yourself, you know like any special toothpaste or body wash you for your bones or whatever..." Hunched over the shopping cart you tiredly rub your eyes, your head throbbing from lightheadedness as a headache threatens to set in. 

 

"Breakfast" did not go well.

Black bear dinner was packed per usual, when you arrived there were still people lined up outside waiting for tables to be cleared which meant it would probably take 20minutes to be seated, and it felt wrong to make him wait any longer. so you took him to another place nearby that you hadn't tried before called Synthia's. It wasn't relatively new, you've heard mix reviews about the food and atmosphere, but it would do since it was nowhere near as packed as bbd's.

_probably because it was close to 3 pm._

Few people inside, mostly middle-aged or seniors. As you got ready to walk inside Sans told you he wasn't hungry anymore, you thought he was just uncomfortable with being around so many humans with next to no monsters inside. But went in anyway saying things would be fine. Once seated in a booth by a teen who looked like shed rather be anywhere else you gave the menu a once over before deciding on something and glanced up to Sans to find him visibly uncomfortable with his head down low. It wasn't until a forty something year old and an obnoxiously familiar old fart came over to your table. Long story short a heated conversation between you and the two men happened mainly about how _you "assaulted his father and stole his monster."_ You denied the obvious lie and it only lead to him forcibly trying to take him. You ended up throwing your still full and very hot cup of coffee at him.

The police were called and you hightailed it out of their with sans before they could arrive, praying no one got your license plate number.

* * *

 

"I um... Don't normally cook so if you're going to get things like vegetables and meat or spices or something, you're on your own." You say glancing over at him. He stuffs his hands into his pockets and nods but stays in his spot next to you. "Any snacks you like eating?" He nods.

"Go ahead and grab them." You gesture in the general direction of all of the aisles and rest your hand back on your forehead. He looks around timidly, he was uncomfortable. He wanted to stay in the car but you didn't want something to happen to him while you were inside and still didn't know what things he really wanted. And since he wasn't in the mood for talking after what happened you knew asking wasn't going to be any help.

"I'll be with you, don't worry..." He nods again and looks up at the aisles signs and lowers his head back down but doesn't move. Sighing you push the cart along heading to the produce section first and Sans closely follows next to you. You pass by a small table where a woman was giving out samples of some new type of candy that looked like some off-brand version of a candy you had before.

"Hey look, that looks good you wanna try some?" You didn't really want any but figured he could use something sweet as of right now and push your cart over to the table. The woman forces a smile at you as you come over, it looked a lot like the type of smile people would give you just before you leave out the room and they start talking shit about you.it drops however when she sees Sans and almost turns into a look of disgust.

" _Ew, why would she bring that in here_.." She mutters as you approach. When she looks back at you she doesn't even bother trying to look friendly anymore but still starts to tell you about the product in an overly friendly voice. You reach into the bowl and take a handful cutting her off and walk away ignoring the glare she gives you as you shove a few of the small round candies into your pocket and unwrap one and pop it into your mouth. It reminded you a bit of yogos. You reach back into your pocket and take what felt like five and push them into Sans coat pocket proceeding to the produce area.

You grab the basics that you don't already have. Milk, eggs, bread, a few fruits and some vegetables, you glance to Sans as he watches you pick things out. He doesn't talk but his eye lights did for him, as they either brighten a bit or slightly dim when you reach for certain things. A few meats and canned goods you move onto the snack aisle, as you round the corner you hear someone gasp and turn around to see a small mouse wearing a green apron that was stacking onions staring at Sans with large yellow eyes wide as saucers, their mouth in an ' _o_ ' shape. Their eyes flick to you and quickly look down to focus on their work but darts them back up to him. You look to Sans to find him looking back at them with small pinpricks of light. "That someone you know?" You ask. He keeps his focus on them and curtly nods. " _We were neighbors._ " He says quietly. 

"You want to go catch up? I'll just be in the next aisle." He looks to you and quickly nods before swiftly walking off and you watch as they look back up as Sans approaches them. Their eyebrows furrowed together as he opens his arms to hug them tightly and they eagerly return the hug. You head into the next aisle that carried monster products and look for more NTT brand items. You stop when you find an NTT brand beshie cream and pick it up curiously inspecting it. 

' _Restores 2 hp after each use!_ ' In bright blue letters. What was hp supposed to do for monsters again? You're about to put it down and grab something one called beauty balm when your phone pings and you reach into your pocket to unlock your phone to see you got a text message from an unknown number.

**xxx-xxx-xxxx** : _Hi (y/n)! It's Kumo, I'm glad I've finally got a chance to text you! How are you, sweety?_

You forgot that you gave him your number... 

**You** _: hey K. I'm alright, just doing some shopping so my roomie can have food other than junk to eat. Know where i can get good monster food?_

_**xxx-xxx-xxxx** : Yeah, at Morning Star! Come down later._

_**You** : I need food for the house too y'know._

_**xxx-xxx-xxxx** : wait you're talking about that skeleton guy? You know he's a total germ, right? _

What was that supposed to mean? You decide to ignore that.

_**You** : quick question, what exactly is HP for a monster? I know it's not supposed to be low but is it important like blood pressure or something?_

He doesn't reply for a while and you look at the other monster products. They didn't have a much of a verity.

_**xxx-xxx-xxxx** :..That's part of our health and defense stats, sweety._

**You** : _What raises it? I'm looking at this weird body cream that says it raises 2hp_

_**xxx-xxx-xxxx** :That's just to help restore minor things like soreness or scrapes and cuts._

_**You** : How high is yours? _

_**xxx-xxx-xxxx** : woah getting personal huh? I'll tell you my hp level if you tell me your bra and panty size._

_**You** : that personal? _

_**xxx-xxx-xxxx** : it's more in the same sense of... Well, like me asking you to spread eagle for me so i can see how clean your lady parts are out of nowhere...Why?_

You blush.

_Yikes ok._

_**You:**_ _wow. Um. How do i get it...healthy?_

He doesn't reply. You grab a few things along with some weird rainbow box with a white cat...with dog ears? Wearing a yellow and blue striped shirt on it that said 'Temmie flakes.' You reach for the box when you hear a man raise his voice in the area you left Sans. 

_"I don't care where she is, You still need to come with me, and you need to get back to work."_

_"Yes sir, I'm sorry_." A small meek voice answers. You were a little worried he was talking to Sans but doubted it since you were only away from him about five minutes. You hear sans hushed voice and cringe as worry surges through you. 

_Fuck._

Quickly rounding the aisle corner you find Sans starring up at the man a tall man in a green apron as he looms over him with a dower expression and walky-talky in hand as he mutters something into it before putting it away. 

"I'm-h-he's with me! I was just in the next aisle, That's m-my..." The man turns to look at you with a somewhat irked expression as you leave your cart next to the aisle you were in to stand next to Sans.

_You didn't want to say his owner_.

"He's here with me..." You mumble.

" _Are you his owner."_ The man asks you almost sternly and your eyes flick over to Sans as he just stands there staring at the mans chest with empty sockets.

"I...yes..." 

"Your monster gave our worker something that it consumed and i need to take him with me to loss prevention."

"I-i, what... _why_?" 

_You were gone a moment what the hell._ "I don't know if he did anything to it that could possibly harm our worker, or make it sick but we can't allow you to leave until it's settled."

"Are you talking about that little mouse?" He keeps calling them an _It_ like they aren't a person... "Yes." He said as if it were a dumb question.

What the fuck is going on.

" _What did you give them?_ " You look at Sans confused and he slowly turns out his pocket and opens his hand to show you the candy samples from when you two walked in. 

"I just wanted to share...she said she was hungry." 

"You are not allowed to give any of our monster employees anything no matter what they say. They get fed regularly enough and we don't need people coming in here trying to give them stuff they don't need."

"I'm sorry and I understand it won't happen in the future, but we just got that from the front of the store there's nothing wrong with it, i promise you."

"Ma'am _we don't know that,_ we can't allow you to leave until we check our cameras.

" _For what? It came from your store."_

* * *

You spend the next two hours in the loss prevention office with Sans at your side as they repeatedly question him about what he was doing and why he gave the mouse monster candy to which he simply stated that she claimed she was hungry and felt tired and thought she could use the energy. They then proceeded to scold you with rules and regulations that everyone who shopped there apparently _already should know_ not to do when coming into the store. You were confused and mad. You only came here to get a few things and that's it, yet somehow that gets you tied into a bunch of other dumb drama you didn't need.

All of this over a piece of candy? Seriously? It reminded you of the time your brothers friend convened him to steal a candy bar from the corner store when he was 12 and the store owner actually took him to court for it to try to make him pay 54$ for the 89. Cent treat despite him putting it back before he actually left the store along with 6 months in juvenile hall.

In other words, this was because of plain racism. 

The manager proceeded to tell you that any harm done to the stores property regardless of how innocent it may have seemed was punishable by law. A slap on the wrist for them was either to pay 870$ for an unnecessary 'vet visit' to make sure the small mouse monster wasn't poisoned by the candy that came from _their store_ and an additional 279$ for shots they'd need for any possible illness they could have contracted from Sans due to the fact that he was a skeleton along with probation from the store. The other option was to go to jail for purposely leaving you monster unattended in a public area where he could cause harm to others. 

You were livid. 

You tried to explain to them that he wasn't a someone's corpse and had no diseases and to check the surveillance cameras to see if he actually did since they wanted to insist that it happened, _which you highly doubted_ and that all of this was entirely unnecessary, but they ' _didn't want to take any chances_.'

You were quiet the ride home. In only two days you've already spent close to a thousand dollars behind the skeletal monster. 

Sans wouldn't stop apologizing as you road home muttering 'I'm sorry' and 'I didn't know i wasn't supposed to.' while staring at you with the worried expression he had when you two first met. You grip the steering wheel sighing irritably contemplating what to do next, you wanted to get rid of him more now but you knew you were just thinking on your feelings. You were madder at the store managers than anything else and should have probably kept him in eyesight rather than in ear shout.

"I'm not... mad at _you,_ Sans...I'm just...it wasn't your fault at all ok?..." He stops talking after you say that and depressingly leans against the window with his right hand supporting his skull. You pass by a few fast food joints on the way home and remember that you still needed to feed him, he hasn't eaten since the other night. You turn onto the freeway and head downtown. "Let's grab something to eat, ok?" You say lightly and he looks at you surprised and nods slightly sitting a little more attentive now and folding his hands in his lap. 

He still didn't believe you when you told him he didn't have to worry about not eating... Leaving the grocery store empty handed after _that_ was embarrassing, and now that you couldn't come back to this one you'd need to find a new one. You could just have someone gather and deliver whatever you needed to your house with that grocery app. Having fewer reasons to get out of the house was dandy for you, but it was practically to really leave and let him get fresh air. Biting your lip you try to suppress the depressive feeling that was starting set in as you drive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still wishing i was good at writing, i know there are a lot of contradictions and plot holes but I'm kinda just saying whatever to them right now.


	9. TRAINING START

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans gets a new job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pure trash at writing... May go back and redo this chapter.

Sans apparently had more energy than zeus's lightning bolts and also apparently didn't need to sleep more than 4 hours a day for his mind to function at 100%. Every night you had to deal with puzzles or traps he had set around your house preventing you from doing stuff like going to the bathroom or entering any of the rooms in the house..Even with your insomnia you still needed at least 6 hours to be able to deal with a 10 minutes of this.

He was bored.

You knew that.

You had let him buy a few cheap games on Game Jolt and Steam, that only lasted for a few days until he completed all of them too quickly for your liking and wanted to buy more. It was expensive. You even tried buying him a few of the puzzle boxes similar to the one you got in SF on Amazon, which only resulted in him placing things like your keys, wallet, pens and other stuff you needed inside them in an attempt to get you to solve them, you got angry and ended up commanding him to open them and not to do it again. You regretted it so much. You were just stressed... You couldn't get your mind off of things and you just wanted to draw. 

It was what you always did when you felt angry about something or just needed something therapeutic to do, _and he was getting in the way of it._ You would have just listened to music but he locked your headphones in a separate one, and you didn't feel comfortable with playing your music loudly in case he didn't have the same taste as you. 

"No, no, look just try it! It's actually real easy!" His smile was wider than it normally was as he tried to shove the box back into your hands. "I don't want to, I'm not in the mood for this." You grumble and pushed it back into his hands. You just wanted your promarkers back so you could finish up your drawing.

"It's so easy," he said excitedly and tried to place your hands along the edges to pull it open. "Look you just-"

 _"I. Don't. Care_. _Just **open it** and don't do it anymore, I'm sick of you doing this!_ " When you saw his collar start to blink his eye lights dime and the corners of his gleeful smile falter, you wished you would have just humored him, he looked down at his hands and opened the box then handed it to you quietly turning around and heading to his room.  

You didn't feel like working on your art after that.

You just stay in the office room staring blankly at the floor for an hour while slouched on your bed replaying what happened and regretting everything so much. 

When you got up to go apologize you headed into the living room to grab the puzzle where you had thrown it in you ashamed haze to ask him how he did it, only to find the other five you bought him sitting on the table opened, and your trapped stuff removed. He didn't talk to you for the rest of that evening. You wanted to apologize but you didn't. You don't know why, you just didn't though. You knew he was just looking for a way to exert all the pent up energy he had, and unfortunately only had you to talk to and socialize with.

You didn't know what to do.

And since you refused to make him work, You came up with a proposition for him that night after being lock out your room for the 8th time.

"500$ every two weeks as my personal trainer, sound good?" That was how much personal trainers charged right? You didn't really know or care.

"THAT'S A FANTASTIC IDEA!!" he all but yelled at you "...B-BUT WHY ARE YOU PAYING ME?.. AND SO MUCH??"

You couldn't tell him _why_...

".....Don't you want your own money for once?" You say and he nodes excitedly.

* * *

 

You weren't really being serious about the whole personal trainer thing you just wanted him to take all the traps and puzzles down, and not feel like a sugar mama.

You didn't believe he could do half the stuff he had planned for you two anyways, but he never ceases to amaze you. Especially when he lifted a girl your size out of bed at 5 in the morning with ease, After trying to shoo him off saying you two would train tomorrow instead, he glared down at you disappointingly, already dressed in head and wrist bans with a neon green shirt that had the words 'Jog Boy' written on it in Sharpe and blue shorts waiting at the side of your bed.

You hugged your pillow closer in response.

 _He wasn't having it_.

"YOU SOUND JUST LIKE MY LAZY BROTHER!" He yelled yanking the covers off of you and scooping you up making you yelp. After whining for 6 minutes. You finally put on a T-shirt, sweat pants and trainers and head out to the marina.

* * *

So here you were, at 6:10 in the morning.

You hate this.

You just want to get back in bed. Sans is making you regret every word you said to him about his new job.

"HUMAN COME ON YOU'D NEVER BE ABLE TO MAKE IT IN THE ROYAL GUARD AT THIS RATE!" Sans calls 20feet in front of you. You respond with whizzing as sweat runs down your face, lungs and throat stinging as you gasp for air, legs wobbly and ready to give out any second as you fight to keep moving.

You didn't realize you had been this out of shape, when was the last time you went jogging again? Or even walked for that matter??

Oh right...

 _When you saw that girl and those men_.

You stumble over your own feet and face plant onto the track turf. Sans runs back to you to help you up as you dust dirt off your face and catch your breath. "Sans can we stop? I think I've had enough now." You pant.

"NONSENSE! IT'S ONLY BEEN 4O MINUETS! YOU STILL HAVE 1 HOUR AND 20 MINUETS MORE TO GO."

"Can I at least have another water break??" you huff.

"I GUESS THAT'S FAIR, HUMANS ARE MADE MOSTLY OF WATER AFTER ALL. he says looking at your sweat soaked shirt. "AND...YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE LOST A LOT OF IT...I'LL ALLOW IT."

"Thanks.."you say as he pulls you up and steadied you and the two of you walk back to the bench where you set your duffel bag at. "I HAVE TO SAY, YOU'RE NOT AS BAD AS I THOUGHT YOU'D BE. YOUR STAMINA IS ACTUALLY PRETTY HIGH, YOU EVEN MANAGED TO GO LONGER THAN UNDYNE WHEN ALPHYS GOT ME TO TRAIN HER."

"Who are they again?.." you pant out.

"HAVEN'T YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION WHILE WE WERE JOGGING!? "he frowns placing his hands on his hips.

"..Uh.."

He sighs rolling his eye lights. "ALPHYS WAS CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD, MY MENTOR AND MY BESTIE! AND UNDYNE WAS...HER VERY CLOSE FRIEND." He says with an audible wink.

"..Oh ok....." you huff disinterested as you sit down.

"I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D EVEN BE ABLE TO SURPASS MY BROTHER, HE NEVER EVEN MAKES IT A FEW FEET BEFORE USING ONE OF HIS 'SHORT CUTS'."

"....What was he like?" you asked after finishing your water bottle, you had wanted to ask more about him before but didn't want to upset him.

"PAPYRUS?, HE WAS A TOTAL LAZY BONES! HE'D SPEND ALL OF HIS TIME BOONDOGGLING AND SLEEPING ON THE JOB! HONESTLY.. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WOULD DO WITHOUT SUCH A COOL BROTHER LIKE ME." He said with another sigh.

"EVER SINCE THINGS CHANGED FOR MONSTERS AFTER... AFTER THE ROYAL FAMILY'S ASSASSINATION, HE HASN'T BEEN THE SAME." Sans looks down deep in thought seeming to recall memories. 

"PAPYRUS WAS ALWAYS OVER PROTECTIVE OF ME BUT...HE WAS _NEVER_ VIOLENT..." sans says. "...HE CHANGED A LOT WHEN WE GOT TO THE SURFACE... HE WOULD NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HIM THERE WATCHING ME... _BUT HE WAS NEVER VIOLENT..."_ He repeats as he shook his skull _."_ AFTER THE LAST TIME WITH OUR LAST OWNER HIS THOUGHTS TOWARDS HUMANS WAS A BIT... _MURDERY_." He says and his brow bone knit together and your eyebrows raise.

"What happened last time?.."You ask meekly and he looks like he doesn't want to talk about it, he's quiet for a long moment before sighing and looking down at the ground again as he takes a seat next to you.

"W-WELL.. OUR LAST OWNER HE BOUGHT US ON HALLOWEEN FOR HIS DAUGHTER BUT AFTER IT HAD ENDED HE DIDN'T WANT US AROUND HIM ANYMORE?? THE KID WAS... I-I DON'T THINK..SHE WAS IN A GOOD HOME..."

"what do you mean?..."

"...HIS DAD WASN'T A GOOD PERSON...HIS DAUGHTER ALWAYS LOOKED MALNOURISHED..AND COVERED IN BRUISES...HER DAD EVEN SHOVED ME DOWN THE STAIRS AND I FRACTURED MY SKULL ON ONE OF THE STEPS BEFORE...SO I KNOW NOW THAT SHE WAS BEING ABUSED.." You gasp and look at him in shock and glance up to the now hairline fracture on his skull.

_That's how he got it...._

"B-BUT WHEN PAPYRUS FOUND OUT..." He looks down at his lap for a while.

"HE TOLD ME TO JUST SLEEP IT OFF FOR A BIT AND GAVE ME ONE OF THE MONSTER CANDIES HE MANAGED TO SAVE FROM HALLOWEEN...HE WASN'T ACTING LIKE HIMSELF AT ALL...."

"What happened?.."

"I REMEMBER WAKING UP AND HEARING A BUNCH OF SCREAMING FROM THE SMALL HUMAN AND MY BROTHER AND HER DAD YELLING AT EACH OTHER FOR A WHILE, AND A BUNCH SLAMMING AND THEN NOTHING. PAPYRUS DIDN'T COME BACK FOR A LONG TIME. BUT WHEN HE DID HIS COLLARS LIGHT WAS SOLID RED AND HE JUST SAT DOWN NEXT TO ME ON THE FLOOR AND THEN JUST..HUGGED ME.. WHEN I ASKED HIM WHAT HAPPENED HE JUST SAID TO GO TO BACK TO SLEEP, I WAS TIRED BUT TRIED MY HARDEST TO STAY UP WITH HIM BECAUSE I WAS SCARED BUT FELL ASLEEP ANYWAY. WHEN I WOKE UP AGAIN I WAS IN A LARGE ROOM FULL OF OTHER MONSTERS."

"...How long ago was that? "

"....8 months ago.." he said gloomy and tears prick his eye sockets.

"H-hey wait... Don't feel bad we'll find your brother ok?" You don't believe that in the slightest.

"R-really?" You just wanted him to feel better...

"And when we do h-he can come live with us." 

_What are you doing!?_

His face lights up at that.

"R-REALLY!?!?" he jumps off the bench staring down at you with large starry eyes.

"Y-yeah we can start as soon as we get home ok?"

_Why did you just say that!?!?_

"I-I mean it would take god knows how long but we can start sometime next week."

 **_Shut up!!!_ ** **_Just stop talking!_ **

"If he's still in this county, we can see if the city hall has him in the record-"  Sans tackles you off the bench to the ground knocking the wind out of you squeezing you so tight you were sure he was going to break your spine in half.

"T-THANK YOU!!!" he sniffles as sparkling blue tears of joy stream down his face. You pat him on the back.

_Why couldn't you keep your mouth shut..._

You didn't have enough money saved of the two of you like that let alone another person and Sans was already a handful for you but double that? You don't think you can handle another one of him. What would happen if there was an emergency or an accident? How were you going to pay for it? What would you do if something happened to your car? You start to feel anxious again as your mind starts to race.

But...after 8 months? The luck of finding him was low anyways so maybe it was ok to lie...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's going to be some chapters added that go before this in the future so heads up.


	10. TRAINING: CONTINUE???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fitness and you open up a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to write but I'm only good at coming up with trash ._.  
> I have a bad habit of putting the same thing over and over and over in my stories.

Sans level of 'easy' was apparently like doing a speed run in Outlast on insane mode. After lying to him about trying to find his apparently racist 'kill all humans' brother and letting him live with you he got a spike of newfound energy making you run like your life depended on it. After 10 more minutes of pure cardio you can't think of anything but wanting to stop and if you wanted to keep up with this training thing.

Everything hurts.

Why did you have to say that? God, you're a terrible person for doing this to him...

You face planted again for the second time and your body refused to move any more after flopping onto your back. You lay on the grass staring up at the birds that flew by.

_That face he made when you told him._

There was so much belief and trust behind it. He really believed you? Trusted you that much? That you would really...That idiot..didn't he know trust was something you had to earn?... If he found out you didn't mean it... And that you planned to give him to someone else at first..he'd probably drop dead on the spot. When you found out monsters lost all there HoPe they fell down. Which was like being in a coma before dying.

You feel like shit. You're a total bitch for this... Sans shakes you out of your thoughts when he runs back to you. "(Y/N)? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

"...M'fine.....just overworked." you pant out and he hums.

"I GUESS WE CAN TAKE A SHORT BREAK. I'M STILL SURPRISED AT HOW MUCH YOU CAN DO ON YOUR FIRST DAY. DID YOU USE TO RUN A LOT BEFORE THIS?"

"I used to jog a lot after I reached over 200lbs and lost some weight.. but I haven't worked out like this in _months_..." you rasp out staring up at the now light blue sky.

"REALLY? DID YOU HAVE A TRAINER BACK THEN TOO?"

"Nah did it all on my own...I didn't like how i looked and was worried about my health, plus clothes that fit me were hard to find. I was too big to shop at 'normal stores' but too small to shop at plus sized ones. Having a large chest didn't help.." You huff and he openly stares down at your chest for a while, you squint at him and turn over on your side facing the opposite way of him.

_Really? Even with skeletons?_

"...I always thought losing weight was hard when I was younger, but it really isn't.. all you have to do is run every day and not eat junk foods which i already avoided anyways. Used to give me tons of zits and shit, made me sluggish.." you leave out the part where you just stopped eating.

"BUT I THINK YOU LOOKED FINE." you turn to give him a pointed look.

" _When have you ever seen me before i met you?_..."

"THE PHOTOS IN YOUR OLD _BUT MY NEW BEDROOM._  THERE'S PHOTOS OF YOU AND ANOTHER HUMAN WEARING COSTUMES SMILING AND FLEXING LIKE STRONG MEN AND ANOTHER OF YOU TWO HOLDING INMATE SIGNS?? LIKE FOR A MUG SHOT. "

 _Oh_. You forgot you left those in there. The photos from Halloween you and Jd took at the haunted house a few years back.

"Oh.. Those photos aren't that old, It's only from a few years ago... I weigh the same in that photo as i do now probably." You sigh.

"..OH.....SO..WAS THAT HIM?.."

"....yeah..handsome wasn't he?..." you think back to the last time you got to see him when he was alive. His light brown almond shaped eyes watching you as you rest your head against his chest lying in between his legs on the couch.

"YEAH...YOU TWO... REALLY MADE A CUTE COUPLE..."

"..we got that a lot.. I still regret not giving him the life he always wanted with me when he wanted it, you know? Jd was real big on having a family, I wasn't though. We were still too young.."

You wanted to finish enjoying not having permanent responsibilities first, but look where you are now...You didn't want a family because you were scared that you couldn't take care of them and you'd neglect them or be like your parents were or something worst...

"I can't take care of kids anyways.. "

"BUT YOU TAKE CARE OF ME WONDERFULLY, AND ALL THE PLANTS IN YOUR HOUSE AND YOU LOOK REALLY HEALTHY."

Plants are different they only need water and sunlight...and Sans is old enough to not need you to watch you all the time. Babies? That's something entirely different. You wouldn't know what to do at all. On top of that being a provider, An actual one? Like hell you could really do that. You lucked out with inheriting your house along with a bit of money just in case you needed to repair it or move, but it wasn't a lot and you used most of it to pay for the property taxes and bills. If anything did happen to your house you were fucked.

"You sound just like him..." He would always say the same thing, but you told him he couldn't be any more wrong....The fact that the thought was there is what was so scary to you. You were scared of even just living with him because of the thoughts you had about yourself.. And just life. You were scared of the day you couldn't take it anymore. You couldn't do that to him. He knew how you were..how you'd get when you were in one of your moods.. what you'd do to yourself when you'd get that way...

"WELL...EVEN IF YOU DONT THINK SO, I THINK YOUR A WONDERFUL CAREGIVER (Y/N)!" he says taking a seat next to you and rubbing your back.

It feels nice.

"I'VE ONLY LIVED WITH YOU FOR A FEW DAYS NOW AND I FEEL VERY WELL TAKEN CARE OF! NONE OF MY MAS- I _-I MEAN ROOMMATES..._ HAVE EVER TREATED ME AS NICE AS YOU HAVE. AND I HAD A LOT! I THINK YOU'RE A GREAT." You pluck at blades of grass and don't say anything.

" _YOU'D MAKE A GREAT MOTHER._ " his warm hands rub soothing circles into your back and you feel tears prick your eyes as you turn to look at him. He gives you a gentle smile. You quickly look away from him and wipe your watery eyes.

"It's too late for that now anyway...but thank you.."

"DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY?" he asks curiously.

"Yeah, three older brothers. I don't see 'em much anymore though. The oldest two live in different states that's all...and the other one... He's.. Having a hard time with himself right now..."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" You didn't feel comfortable with talking about it right now. You've opened up to him more than you wanted to today.

"I'll tell you about it later, I just want to go home and shower..."

"OK! WELL I'M PROUD OF YOU EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT TO TWO HOURS. FOR NOW, LET'S GET YOU HOME. I DON'T WANT TO BREAK YOU." he says standing.

" Too late..." you say remaining on the ground.

"..Carry me?...." you say making a puppy dog face raising your arms to be picked up. He smiles sighing then rolls his eye lights bending to pull you up to your feet before turning around and kneeling.

"HOW ABOUT A PIGGYBACK RIDE?"

"Ohh.. Uh...." you don't know were to wrap your legs, even though he seemingly has a belly under that shirt you know its just a spine there. Do you hook your legs on his hips? Or his spine?..that doesn't seem comfortable...

"WHAT'S TAKING YOU? I'M NOT GOING TO DROP YOU, DON'T WORRY!"

You think back for a moment to the last time when someone told you that.

_

Jd was keeled down and you climbed onto his back only to fall hard on your ass the moment he stood up. ' Oops.. Sorry, babe, I thought I could.' you just stare at him and he holds back laughter scratching his cheek.' I just thought..if I _believed_ in myself enou- _ow_! hey don't kick me! I said sorry!' you kick at his leg again "you're laughing takes it back!" He laughs some more before kneeling down to grab your ankles and drags you down the grass hill as you kick your legs trying to get free " Stop I'll get grass stains! These are my favorite pants!" he doesn't.

-

"..I think I'll be alright." You groan getting up and tiredly walking around him back to the bench and he frowns as you try to ignore your aches and pains as you walk. When you're halfway there you're suddenly scooped up bridle style making you yelp in surprise and giggle. He smiles warmly at you and you wrap your arms around his neck as the two of you head home. You don't notice the man that had been staring at you two from his truck the whole time before pulling away. 

* * *

When the two of you get home you take a steamy shower to relax your aching muscles. Glancing at the honey and shea butter body cream you go to reach it but stop when you see the NTT brand beauty-wash. Popping the cap you squeeze some into your palm and your skin start to tingle as the glittering neon blue gel spreads over it. It smells amazing reminding you of sweet fruity refreshing but somewhat flowery smell. You lather your skin and your body starts to feel tingly and your aches are immediately gone.

_Holy crap_

"SANS! NTT IS FUCKING AMAZING!" you call from the shower. Your words echoing off the walls.

" _TOLD YOU!!!_ " he calls back from somewhere in the house.

Stepping out of the shower you head to your room and plop down on the bed. You feel really relaxed right now, you finish drying yourself and put on your favorite body lotions and oils, throw on some panties and crawl into bed, you slept like a rock for the next 4 hours until you wake up to the smell of something burning and the fire detector going off, you immediately shoot up from your bed throwing on your robe and sprint out your room into the kitchen to see your stove on fire as smoke filled the kitchen and Sans being as cool as a cucumber about it.

" ** _WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?_** " You scream at the top of your lungs at him and he jumps hard dropping the seasonings in his hand and wiping his skull around to you as you run to the fridge ripping the door open and grab the flour and tare it open and throw it all over the engulfed stove top extinguishing the fire. 

" _ **(Y/N)!?!?**_ " 

Woah, you've never heard his voice get that loud before. You glare at him in rage. No freaking way is he mad that you extinguished his food when your kitchen was almost- 

You look down at your bare chest and choke on the air as you go to cover yourself. _You're rob came open_. All the blood drains from your face as your eyes flick back up to Sans, his sockets were the darkest you think you've ever seen them, his skull a solid blue now. He quickly rushes out to his room and slams the door shut. Great. He burned half your kitchen down and you mentally scarred him for the rest of his life. 

Why couldn't you just die in your sleep already...

* * *

"What was your job underground again?" you say sitting on the ground in the backyard. The two of you decided to stay home to work out this time after 12 minutes of whining at 5 am this morning you managed to get Sans to let you sleep in and train later in the day. He claims that he didn't really see anything and that you really only had a stripe of skin showing. _You'd take the benefit of the doubt_. 

"WE WERE SENTRIES, WELL HE WAS AT LEAST, I WAS A CADET. ALPHYS SAID I STILL HAD A LOT OF TRAINING TO DO BEFORE I COULD MAKE IT INTO THE ROYAL GUARD. BUT WHEN THE BARRIER BROKE THEY DISBANDED IT." He pouted.

"Sorry to hear that buddy..." you pat him on the back feeling your fingers hit in between the spaces of his ribs.

"IT'S PERFECTLY ALRIGHT. AT LEAST I CAN TRAIN YOU NOW! TRAINEE BECOMES THE TRAINER! NOW LET'S WORK ON YOUR LEGS" and with that blue and white bones spring up out of the ground and your eyes widen. What the hell. He can summon bones!? That's so cool!'

"ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS JUMP OVER THEM AND THE BLUE ONES WON'T HURT AS LONG AS YOU STAY STILL!" He says before his collar starts blinking rapidly and his hands fly up to it as he hisses screwing his sockets shut tight and you hear something buzzing he quickly dispells them.

"...I-I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT..." he sighs disappointingly and frowns. You stare for a moment before grabbing his hand and heading into the house.

"(Y/N), WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TRAINING RIGHT NOW N-NOT FLIRTING!" You look back at him confused before letting go and head to the garage and outside to your car. Opening the passenger door reaching into the glove compartment. Shifting through a few folders you find Sans ownership papers. You had finally went down to the courthouse a few days ago to become what you would rather call his legal guardian. You skim through a few of them until you find a phone number and after a fifteen-minute phone call and being asked a _lot_ of questions along with a lot of warnings you hang up now feeling anxious to high hell, _but you needed to do this for him._

Heading back into the house you walk up to Sans who's now sitting at the bar in the kitchen with a water bottle and you walk over to him as he looks up at you. You reach around the back of his collar to a small rectangular box, it was a lot like a shock collar for dogs and pull it to the front to see a small screen. Reading the paper in your hand you repeat the last step and a small light next to the screen turns blue. 

"A-ah." his eye sockets widen and his eye lights disappear.

"There you go." you say and place the papers on the counter. He looks down at them and he reaches his hand up to his neck bones and rubs them slowly then looking up at you. "This is just so you can use more of your magic without it zapping you, the county is going to monitoring you to make sure you _don't try anything_  as they like to put it."

"I-i...w-what did you do?..." 

"Made a phone to the county and asked a few things... so now you're magic isn't restricted, I told them it was for work reasons..." You leave out how you were going to start being billed for it. "You feel a bit more energetic right?" He nods still confused. 

"Good," you smile. "Now show me some more magic!" His face lights up with Determination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.  
> :|


	11. Adjustment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you grow a little used to sans as he does with you.

Sans living here with you has been...Relatively _o.k._

_Kind of..._

As of for the most of it, you kind of just... _tolerated him._ You didn't like that someone you literally just met insisted on being so touchy and close to you all the time and it creeped you out, but quickly let it slide once you actually took a minute to watch him and realize that he had _separation anxiety._ You couldn't do anything alone for more than ten minutes without him coming to sit next to you or be underneath you in some way. 

The touching part most likely was from him imprinting on you after trying to comfort him during the break down he had a few hours after he came home with you. 

It was always small things at first, like hesitantly sitting close to you, walking side by side now whenever you two -begrudgingly- went somewhere and occasionally bumping shoulders with you. But after a few more days of your silence, he was basically using you as a pillow most of the time when ever you two sat together. It was never on purpose, when ever he was about to fall asleep you'd find him leaning towards you a lot as he drowsily struggled to try to keep his skull up until he inevitably fell over onto you. A few times you thought he was faking it and you'd admittedly poke and prod somewhat roughly at his face hoping that the discomfort of it would make he move but it only made him twitch a little in his sleep. The times he did manage to stay up right when he fell asleep you'd quietly slip away from him to be alone in your room and just _breath_ to relax fully. It was a drain on your already dying social battery and you just wanted to be alone so you didn't have to worry or be self conscious for only a moment.

After his third day with you, he spent the whole day awkwardly following you around like a puppy, unfortunately it didn't have the same cute feeling of one when he did. It was more like being followed by a creep and it made you nervous. Every time you left out of a room he would follow along and you'd feel his eyes boring holes into the back of your head and give a small glance over your shoulder to confirm that yes, he was there... And staring at you. _A lot_.

You know that he was doing what he'd been conditioned to do. Which was wait on you hand and foot to follow whatever order you gave him immediately. He was probably confused why you hadn't made him do anything yet. You had told him a few hours after that, that he didn't need to do anything for you and could relax which made him stop in his tracks and look at you confusedly before awkwardly just standing there.

It only made him start staring at you from certain spots of the house.

He would just spent the entire time starring at you. Everything you did throughout the day, he just... watched you. Never saying anything but just watching.

You didn't have to look up at him to see that he was, you could always feel it and it sent a shiver down your spine making you flick your eyes up to him to see him staring at you with empty sockets from the couch or doorway.

He was creepy.

You'd let him know what you were doing assuming that it was just curiosity and nervously warping it up so you can go somewhere else in the house. You sometimes even offered if he would like to help you- but didn't have to - and you'd be met with silence.

You'd nod smiling softly knowing that your calm facade was cracking enough to show the nervous wreck you were hiding underneath and leave the room to go hide in your downgraded bedroom to ease your tension of having this stranger in your home. Just to feel the same empty eye sockets on you again and look behind you to see him standing hesitantly at the doorway as if caught trying to sneak a cookie.

_You didn't like him when he did that._

But...on a more positive side of looking at things, with him living here, you now had enough of an actual reason to get out of bed everyday. At first you didn't want to, after the shopping trip was a bust you didn't bother trying to go shopping again until the weekend, with no food in the house you two ended up eating out a lot at restaurants that you triple checked were monster friendly before eating at. You'd still just get the food to go anyway, _but the point was that you got out of the house to do something_.

Even when you were an anxious mess close to having another breakdown in front of him just because someone glanced at you strangely and you'd suddenly become self conscious about how you looked, something you said, or simply how you were walking and end up rushing Sans to wrap up what ever he was doing so you could leave and go home. 

You suppose it was _good_ in a way, it made you leave the house more than once a month. 

You wanted to spend the rest of the week doing what you typically did. Pretending that things were the same as they had been before you brought him home with you. But it of course didn't sit right with your mind. All you could do was think about him, how he, this monster. This... _this slave_  that you owned and who belonged to you as if he were a pair of shoes was under the same roof as _you_ , just a few feet away in your bedroom through the walls. Just sitting and thinking about so many things like your manic thoughts were making you do at that moment.

You couldn't sleep, you never could much to began with but you found it twice as hard to just lay down and rest your head the more you thought of the fact that a stranger was inside of your house, inside of your room. Thinking about god knows what. Plotting to do god know what to you in the future when he got the chance to. 

On his fourth day here you got out of bed early and took a shower and calm your nerves, as you stood in the steamy water you felt hyper aware of just... everything. you couldn't explain it. instead of standing there and spacing out in a depressive daze like you normally did, you grabbed your body was and lathered the gel onto your skin. the water running hot soapy steams down your body as you gently scrubbed away the offending odors coming from your body. with a relaxed sigh you turn your back to the shower nozzle and lean your head back, it took a second for the water to hit your dirty oily scalp, but when it did, the heat of the water run streams down the back of it, you almost moan at the feeling as tears gathered in your closed eyes. grabbing another bottle and squeezing a glob into your palm you bring your hands up you lather in the flower scented shampoo, softly scratching small circles into your scalp to loosen up the dead skin cells and natural oils the coated it. _it felt so nice_. your hair had been in such bad shape that clumps fell out as you untangled what you could with your fingers before getting a comb to do the rest, snapping and snagging on the thing until you could comb through it with ease. your scalp was throbbing and hurt a little by the time you were done.

From the sweet steamy scent the warmth of the water trickling over your skin, and the echoing rain like pitter patter of the water. tears start to fall from your closed eyes as your nose begins to sting from your sinuses swelling up as a small sob leaves you. it's been close to a month but...

 _Has it always felt this nice to shower?_

one you got finished you put on lotion and couldn't stop admiring the way your skin didn't feel dry for once, you couldn't stop smelling your hair or running your fingers through it and you couldn't stop your eyes from watering. After getting dressed, you made him breakfast. It was nothing special, just brown sugar ham with a side of eggs and toast. For the first time in months. You got out of bed to do something so generic but it felt...

Stupidly empowering in a way.

You took a shower and made breakfast. 

that simple thing, so normal that people do on a regular basis. you made breakfast for not only him but yourself. when he came out he looked surprised to see two plates on the counter and quickly sat. the two of you ate in silence. and the day went on that way. 

* * *

 

After another morning of training you sit in the back yard lawn staring up at the cloudy sky as you awkwardly take a sip of the caprisun you managed to convince him to let you have. "Um..." You can see him look at you curiously in your peripheral and you sit up before pawing at the back of your neck. "Do you like...living here?..with me." 

"Of course I do." He said quickly as if it was an absurd question and you look up from your hands to see him looking at you baffled. "I love living here! It's way better than any of my old homes." 

"quick question....How many people did you and your brother go threw before it was just you?" You were looking at Sans ownership papers wondering if you could find anything useful about Papyrus in them the other night. You were really going to go through with this. You just wanted Sans to be happy. _Even if it put you out of your comfort a little._ Sans was nice to have around. His brother couldn't be _that_ bad the more you thought about it. You felt guilty for lying to him. What better way to make up for it than to actually go through with it.

"HMMM.. ONLY 5. THE FIRST PERSON ONLY WANTED US AS DISPLAYS FOR HER STORE BUT PAPY KEPT SCARING OFF ALL THE CUSTOMERS WITH HIS TERRIBLE JAPES, AND THE WOMAN WAS VERY ANGRY WITH US SAYING WE COAST HER MORE MONEY THAN WE COULD PULL IN." That's not a little concerning at all you try to convince yourself.

"SHE SOLD US TO A MAN THAT HAD A FARM 5 TOWNS OVER. WE WERE EVEN ALLOWED TO USE OUR MAGIC! HE WANTED US TO TAKE CARE OF THE ANIMALS AND SCARE OFF THE BIRDS THAT LAND IN THE FIELDS. BUT PAPY WOULD STUFF A BUNCH OF CHICKEN FEED IN HIS POCKETS AND THROW IT IN THE FIELDS WHEN WE WERE SENT OUT TO THEM, THEN JUST SLEPT ON AGAINST THE FENCE THE WHOLE DAY UNTIL WE IT WAS TIME TO GO BACK. I LIKED IT THERE, BUT BOY WAS THAT MAN ANGRY AFTER HIS CROPS WHERE PECKED CLEAN AFTER A FEW WEEKS."

_Ok that's a bit funny..._

"HE YELLED AT US A LOT AFTER THAT AND SAID A LOT OF... _UNFAVORABLE THINGS ABOUT US AND MONSTERS IN GENERAL._. HE EVEN MADE HIS DOG PLAY WITH US AFTER HE WAS DONE YELLING WHICH WAS _WEIRD_..

He fucking sicced his dog on them!?

BUT I GUESS WE TIRED IT OUT BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T CHASE AFTER ME ANYMORE AFTER HE GOT MY ARM AND NIBBLED IT FOR A BIT," you gasp as your eyes widen. "IT'S OK IT DIDN'T HURT, PAPYRUS DIDNT LIKE THAT THOUGH SO HE HIM UP WITH HIS MAGIC AND THREW HIM REALLLLLLYYY FAR ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE FIELD INTO A LARGE HAY PILE..."

Are you fucking serious..

"ACTUALLY...NOW THAT I THINK BACK ON IT....I...I dont think the dog was trying to play. it was probably trying to hurt me...it did have a similar collar on its own neck after all..." He mutters towards the end and is quiet for a moment before he goes back to his outside voice. "THEN _THAT_ GUY SOLD US TO THIS COUPLE THAT WHERE... VERY STRANGE... "

"How so? Where they like real creepy? or make you do weird cult shit or something?" You take another drink of your caprisun.

"WHAT'S A CULT?? N-NO THEY WERE... WELL THEY DIDN'T RESPECT PERSONAL SPACE AT ALL."

"Can you elaborate for me?" you don't like where this is going.

"THEY WOULD ALWAYS HAVE A BUNCH OF WEIRD SKIMPY PARTIES WITH OTHER PEOPLE..."

"What." you balk at him."A-AND THE MAN WOULD ALWAYS TOUCH ME A LOT AND PRESS HIS BODY ONTO ME WHEN PAPYRUS WASN'T AROUND. SO DID THE WOMAN."

"W-where did then make Papyrus go?.." you ask not wanting to really hear the answer. "OH THEY MADE HIM HOST THE PARTIES THE HAD SOMETIMES AND THEY'D COME TO SEE ME WHEN HE WAS INSIDE." you start to feel anxious but ask for him to continue.

"What did they do then?" you ask slowly.

"THEY'D COMPLEMENT ME A LOT AND TELL ME I WAS A GOOD BOY. I LIKED THE COMPLIMENTS, BUT NOT THE TOUCHING.. THE WOMAN?.. SHE ALWAYS WANTED ME TO-.....WE'LL...I REALLY DIDN'T LIKE HER. PAPYRUS ABSOLUTELY HATED THEM... ESPECIALLY HER. HE'D CURSE AT HER A LOT AND SHE.....LIKED IT FOR SOME REASON? I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY REALLY WANTED US FOR BUT I DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO FIND OUT. WE WOULD ALWAYS HEAR WEIRD STUFF GOING ON IN THE HOUSE FROM OUTSIDE. A LOT OF MEN AND WOMEN SCREAMING WEIRDLY AND STUFF" you gawk at him as you feel your stomach twist with disgust.

You feel like your going to throw up. They bought them to us as sex toys...it wasn't an uncommon thing. You shiver as you swallow the bile that rises in your throat. "S-so they made you stay outside too?" You didn't want to began to imagine what might have went on if he went into those sickos house. "NO PAPY DIDN'T WANT ME IN THERE HE SAID IT WAS FULL OF SICK PEOPLE HE DIDN'T WANT ME EXPOSED TO, AND THAT IT WAS CLEANER OUTSIDE IN THE SHED."

_You knew it..._

"I DIDN'T THINK HUMANS COULD GET MONSTERS SICK, BUT I STARTED TO SEE HIM LOOK ILL SOMETIME WHEN HE WOULD COME BACK OUT. AFTER A FEW WEEKS THE WOMAN STARTED COMING OUT AT NIGHT TO SEE ME.. SHE SAID SHE WAITED LONG ENOUGH TO USE ME, SHE WAS... SCARY...BUT PAPYRUS GOT HER TO FOCUS ON HIM ONLY AFTER SHE TRIED TO BRING ME INSIDE. HE WENT IN INSTEAD AND I HEARD A BUNCH OF SCREAMING AND HER SAYING WEIRD STUFF THAT SOUNDED.... _very sick_..." his volume drops at the last words and his eye lights disappear. His permagrin now a full on frown.

"what did she say?...."

"I remember her shouting something and making a lot of weird noises and the man laughing? but i couldn't make out any of the words.. T-then i-i heard her and the man screaming really loud. I tried to peek through the window, but I couldn't really see anything from where i was. B-but W-when papyrus came back outside he wasn't wearing his shirt or hoodie and had blood all over his teeth and sternum and said we were leaving before I heard sirens after a long time.."

You stare at Sans in horror from what he just told you.

_What the fuck did his brother do!?_

"Papyrus really hated humans even more after that. I don't know what he did, but i know it was bad... We got sent to a shelter and didn't have a real home for a long time after that because Papyrus scared away everyone that would come visit us. Then they started to kept us separated. They told me i had a higher chance of being taken but i didn't want to if he couldn't come with me. I always had nightmares about the man and woman and I got really scared when it was close to our eviction day at the shelter because i didn't want to be homeless. But then another person got us. A woman. She was really elderly. She had got us as a gift for her grandchildren. I was so happy to not end up on the street. even though she wasn't very nice to me...I still liked her more than the last humans we lived with and the ones at the shelter. We lived with her for a while but we hadn't even meet her family."

That's a bit weird...maybe they lived far away? "So what happened with her ? Why'd she get rid of you guys?" you ask and sans is quiet for a long moment. you didn't feel thirsty anymore and put your juice pouch by your side.

"...well... _she didn't really_... _we didn't know..we had no idea.._ she always stayed in her room and told us not to bother her when we where in the house. Sometimes we wouldn't see her all day so we didn't really think anything of it when four days had passed. We thought it was kind of weird that she didn't make us go outside when it was night anymore. I thought she was just starting to warm up to us and it was nice to sleep on something soft instead of the hard ground for once."

Oh Christ what happened...

"But...The house started to smell really bad. Like when human food rots in the sun? But terribly worst. I can't really describe it. Papy went to the back of the house where her room was to check on her and ran out the room looking really sick and he told me to go sit outside and called 911."

_"Oh lord._.." you say as your hand comes up to cover your mouth and eyebrows knit together in disgust again.

"The police came and were in there for a long time talking to him and then they came and spoke to me. Then people in white suites and masks came and took her away in a yellow bag..." he said gloomy.

"Even if she wasn't very nice her home was the closest thing to our home underground. She let us stay inside but only during the day. She had a lot of cats too. I miss them a lot. I miss her too. I hope she's alright.. When monsters fall down they don't come back, B-but you humans can, right? I hope she wakes up soon.. I don't want to go back to her but , i-i like to see her again." he starts playing with the glades of grass beneath him.

_You can't believe what he just told you. They stayed in her house for days with her rotting corpse in it and he didn't even know?_

"We just kind of stayed in her house alone for a few months after that. It felt really weird without her there..Papyrus was happy some how, But acting a little weird for a while after that. Then people came to the house and took everything away even us. We where sold in an auction. It was October when we ended up with the dad and son." you nod knowing the story already.

"After that I was with 4 other people and..... _and then i met you!_ " he said his eye lights and smile returning slowly as he looked back to you.

"(Y/N)? I-IM REALLY HAPPY YOU FOUND ME WHEN YOU DID." he said as tears form in his sockets "I REALLY LIKE YOU A LOT A-AND I KNOW PAPYRUS WILL TOO DESPITE SOME OF HIS FEELINGS TOWARDS HUMANS. I JUST KNOW HE WILL."

"I h-hope so " you smile nervously and start to shake as anxiety floods your entire being.

_The fuck he will!_

your thought must have show on your face. "PLEASE DON'T BE WEARY (Y/N) PAPYRUS IS MY BROTHER. HE'S NOT A BAD GUY AT ALL..I MEAN HE HAS DONE SOME QUESTIONABLE STUFF YES BUT I'M CERTAIN YOU TWO WILL GET ALONG AS WELL AS YOU AND I DO. HE IS SECOND BEST AFTER ALL! HOW COULD HE NOT BE WHEN HE'S RELATED TO THE MAGNIFICENT SANS-!"

You stopped listening and start to contemplate letting Sans living here again. Whatever this Papyrus was like to Sans he clearly wasn't like to humans. You couldn't really blame him though. Hell the guy was just trying to protect his brother... You would do the same if it was someone you cared for too...

You don't think you can do this.

* * *

 

You really liked the human's aesthetic, a lot of the stuff in her 'old' room reminded you of the stuff you had back in yours in the underground. At first you didn't understand why she insisted you stay in hers rather one of the other three but understood when you saw them. Even though the house was very nice it had a few problems. The one she stayed in you found had a horrible mold problem because the walls in there had no isolation. And the last was stuffed to the ceiling with furniture and stuff that looked like it belonged to someone else. She wouldn't tell you who's. Looking at the bed, she had a lot of plushie pillows on it. A few where cute yellow and blue llamas with bow and top hats attached to them which she later told you where actually alpacas. Another One of them you recognize from a movie called Big Hero Six. She cuddled that one a lot when she fell asleep in here with you after you two stayed up all night talking about life in the underground and your friends there, mostly about you and Alphys and Papyrus.

-AND THEN ALPHYS DUNKED HER INTO THE TRASHCAN."

' What kind of monster was Alphys and Undyne, what did they look like?' she said laying on her belly hugging one of the pillows.

WELL ALPHYS WAS A YELLOW REPTILE MONSTER WHO WAS VERY STRONG AND TOUGH. SHE HAD SCARS OVER HER LEFT EYE AND THE REST OF HER AWESOMELY SHREDDED BODY.'

'and Undyne?'

OH, UNDYNE WAS JUST A REALLY TALL BLUE FISH LADY WITH LONG RED HAIR. SHE WORE GLASSES TOO AND STUTTERED A LOT WHEN SHE EVER SHE TALKED. HER AND PAPY HUNG OUT A LOT TOO.' you said dismissively.

her smile immediately disappeared and looked like she was going to throw up as she seemed to recall something, when you asked what was wrong she told you she didn't feel well and wanted to be alone for a while. you got the feeling that she didn't like the subject of 'Friends' seeing as she clearly didn't have many and changed it to what it was like when she was growing up. she got upset and rushed to her room and stayed locked in there. 

You'd knock on her door every few hours to make sure she was alright. It terrified you a lot after what happened with the old woman that fell down, you liked it here and didn't want to leave her too, and this time you'd be without Papyrus.. It was pretty lonely. You didn't know what it was you said but felt very bad for it for some reason. You'd sit at her door to talk to her for a while every few hours before she told you to go away. You thought about the scars you saw on her arms and told her no. You kept talking but she stopped answering after that. It made you worry but you didn't know what to do. It was two days before she came out again. When she finally came out she apologized for how she was acting and was fine. it worried you about her...

Sitting at the desk you look at the various figurines she had on it. They reminded you of the sexy robot ones Santa got you for Christmas. Looking over six of them you pick up one of a girl with long teal hair in twin tales wearing a grey sleeveless button up and black mini skirt with black thigh high boots and arm warmers holding a leek. She told you they were characters for a Japanese music synthesizer. She showed you a few of the songs and they reminded you a little of Napstaton. He was still far better though, you sat it back down in between the two yellow ones of a boy and girl wearing sailor themed clothing. Looking up at the shelf above the desk, You pick up one of a a child in yellow raincoat holding a litter out in front of it's chest. You had seen it before in one of the games she was playing the last time she was in here, you sat on the bed watching as she yelled in anger at the screen when she was caught by an unsettling sickly looking man with greenish grey skin in a stained white apron and chef's hat wheezing as he plunked up the child and dropped them into a pot of boiling black liquid with a few sausages sticking out of it and shiver at the memory. That one scared you, but not as much as the other ones. Looking at one of the monitors to a icon of a purple cat? Bunny? Thing with a pink heart shaped nose then glance over to the similar looking one she had on a shelf, she said it was an old 90's toy.

As cute as it was..You didn't like it very much.

But the one you hated the most was the one where there's a bunch of psychopaths inside of a mental hospital you had to escape.

You absolutely despised when she would play that one. You couldn't sleep alone for days after watching her play that and often found yourself right at the heels of her feet when ever she went to do something. One of the characters in the game reminded you _too_ much of a man who owned you for a while. There appearance much too similar for your liking along with there overall personality. While the cut scene played. She turned to you with a worried expression and asked if you where alright. You didn't know when you started trembling or that you had started crying until she had said something, she turned off the game and deleted it from the computer after that. The two of you spent the next few days cuddle up against one another and doing small activities together to keep your mind off it. You appreciated it a lot.. but as sweet as the human was she had.. Questionable tastes in games...and content...The next time she came in to play one you asked why she likes scary stuff all you got was ' _Because being scared is fun_.'

You strongly disagreed as you rubbed over the almost smooth fracture in your sternum trying to remember how you got it in the first place.

You put the figure back next to another one of an ominous looking yellow human child with short brown hair, wearing a periwinkle shirt with two magenta stripes on it, matching shorts and black shoes holding a stick. They oddly reminded you of your human friend Chara... You had seen her play all of the games on the monitors at some point but not one with that character. When you asked where it was from she told you she already beat it and got the best ending so there was no need to play it ever again. You felt you shouldn't push for an elaboration. Getting up you walk over to the shelf on the side of the bay window in the middle of the room looking over all the various books she has on it. Most where mangas, some you had seen inside of Alphys's house when ever Undyne would come over. A few where old beat up children's books she said held sentimental value to her. She even read some of them to you before bed when you asked her for a story! You really like them a lot. A few were advanced biology and astronomy books.

She had vaguely told you about her studies in college before she changed the subject to something else. Next to the books where various nail polishes lined neatly next to one another. Most being blues and others various colors. You noted she liked to change her nail color almost every 3 days. You pick up the half empty one next to the one that reminded you of opals that's label read ' _Starrily_ ' she had a lot of those by that brand and a few by a brand called _femme fatal_. Turning the small glass bottle in your phalanges you watch as the paint inside of it shimmer and sparkle like stars.

" _oh!_ " That's why it's called Starrily! " _Mweh heh heh that's so clever!_ "

You set it back down and move on to the shelf below to a cluster of small succulents in a terrarium. She had a lot of those in rest of the house. Varying from assorted Aloe plants, spear heads, and red beauties to jelly beans and allionis. She had taught you a lot about the plants she had all over the house after you almost ate some of the ones hanging from the ceiling near the computer. You look over to the basket of pearls on a string. You thought they where some type of peas that grew without the pod before she corrected you before you gave yourself food poisoning. You remember the time queen Toriel showed you how to properly make Golden flower tea when you almost used the flowers instead of the roots for it. She had taught you a lot about plants after that every time you would visit her. You smile fondly at the memory. The two of you would spend endless amounts of time together when ever you went to the capital.

You missed her a lot...

The human would have loved her. You had asked if she liked gardening, she told you it was just therapeutic for her even though she was never very good at it and gardening was too much work so she just stuck to easy to take care of house plants, she even showed you the pet rock she had, that would somehow move to different areas of the house on it's own and once was even by a glass of spilled juice before she scolded it before placing it outside on the porch. You're sure she was pranking you. Like when you walked into the saran wrap that she swears she forgot she put there. Some of the things she did reminded you of paps a little too. He never really liked putting in much effort to what he was doing unless it involved you and often did a lot of pranks.

You smile warmly, you really couldn't wait to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was supposed to be an uncomfortable mix of a lot of fluff and serious angst but idk anymore.


	12. I Feel Kind Of Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You think about stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont know what I'm doing.  
> I'm trying to get readers personality right in these chapters but I'm failing on a jurassic level.

Contemplating on whether or not to use the bananas you have _now,_ or _after_ he's a little closer, you start to reflect what Sans really thinks of you as he trails behind you as p.1 with Tode. You had been trying to make the effort of spending actual time with him now instead of staying locked in your room. He had told you that he and his brother would play some kind of racing game at an arcade a lot when they first came up to the surface and missed how fun it was. And since you had Mario kart collecting dust under your tv stand you thought it could be put to good use. He's been here for a while now and you still don't feel like you've made a good impression on him despite what he first told you. You didn't know a lot about him at all. He didn't know much about you either even though he had been making the motions to.

He'd ask about your family and what they were like, if they were "nice like you" about Jd and what he was like, stuff about your childhood, what your life was like before monsters came to the surface. Though it all could have been innocent curiosity. It made you paranoid.

From prolonged stares he'd give you as you went about your day that you'd notice out of the corner of your eyes, carefully articulated questions about yourself when ever you would be doing something, seemingly testing your tolerance levels with certain things he did around you, prodding you with questions of your life before monsters were above ground.

It felt like he was trying to figure something out.

_Analysing you._

Each time you tell him you didn't want to talk about it and he'd push more seemingly telling you that if you opened up you'd feel better. You questioned why he was being so nosey, to which he stated it was impossible for him to be simply because he had no nose. You got petty after that and asked about the Royal family and what his relationship with the queen was like. He wouldn't talk to you for a few days after that.

You didn't care.

You spent that time locked in your room playing addictive time and attention consuming games. Boarding up the hole deep within your mind where unwanted bad memories squirmed and writhed, crawling their way out of like maggots did from a rotting pig. Losing yourself in the immersive worlds full of enticing stories and adventures just waiting for you at your fingertips, full of characters too pure and perfect for the world you lived in that you would grow to love and obsess over.

Happiness. That's what you felt, through the numbness of your core while playing them. It filled the empty curator that was at one point embedded with something you lost too long ago to remember what it was, a temperature unable to obtain on your own anymore. Too cool to be hot but not friget either. That temperature that came with happiness was never hard to pursuit during that time. You ignored everything to keep perusing it including your bodily needs. Hunger and thirst would leave your stomach cramping and begging for nourishment until you felt nothing. Tiredness would switch to delusion and hilusinations until your mind started running on auto pilot. Your body would ache and hurt as your guts would sting and swell, but you ignored it.

True numbness would only ever greet you when a knocking echoed through out the room pulling you from your world and Sans voice would ask if he could come in to sit with you, not wanting to be alone. You ignored the annoying sound that put you in this mood to began with for a few more hours. Loosing yourself in your fantasy life again. It was only until you heard sobbing outside your door maybe some three hours later making your heart jump into your throat that you were pulled back into reality.

" _Please come out."_ The muffled voicewhispered pathetically as it sobbed and begged to you repeatedly. Tense and cramped for sitting for so long you haggardly went to open your door to find your forgotten responsibility on the floor leaning against the doorway. His tear soaked features twisted into an inconsolable expression much like the one you'd see on yourself after being hit and beaten for reasons still unknown to this day as a child. He quickly stood and hugged you sobbing as he apologized. 

You didn't realize four days had passed. It had only felt like hours...

You felt sick, and as putrid as you smelled that day remembering that. 

You're suddenly struck by lightning and your character and go kart spins out uncontrollably as you're suddenly shrunk to 1/8 of your size letting Yoshi pass you.

He would just sit with you quietly after that, staying close to you but quiet. He wouldn't interrupt you during these immersive  hobbies unless you sat there for too long and would frantically ask if you two could go for a walk outside for a while out of nowhere.

During those times outside he'd walk at your side but somewhat behind you. Just watching you as if ready to jump and catch a glass that fell from the counter. Every once in a while he would carefully ask you questions to which you'd give him small answers. You'd be deep in thought thinking of how you could beat the next boss battle or what your life would be like if they were in your world. He'd pull you from your thoughts to talk about what a nice day it was or something else. You'd glance back at him disinterested to find worry all over his face. He'd grab your hand pulling you closer to him and stopping you each time you were about to cross the street or when you go to close to the curb as if worried you'd fall into an endless abyss. He kept trying to get you to talk, interrupting you from your imagination and you'd glance to him in annoyance to find him so freaked or deeply panicked. You didn't understand until he asked " _Are you really here right now?"_

_Your mind was leaving you._

* * *

But for the most of it, you didn't mind Sans company as much as you thought you would and actually managed to stay as relaxed as you normally did before he started living here, but sometimes it did frankly bother you that he was around. He wouldn't do much of anything.

But still it just... _bothered you_. 

It had less to do with him and more to do with you never really bothering to talk much to him outside of _how did you sleep_  or  _how are you feeling today_  the same script they'd say to you at the hospital. It felt empty, it was your own fault of course. He started all the conversations you two had and you'd always give him one-word answers or say nothing. You wanted to talk but each time you'd open your mouth to say speak, nothing would come out. Too worried that you'd say something wrong or dumb that would make him look at you more funny than he already did after your little "gaming binge."

After opening up to him a little the first time he started training you, you didn't want him to know anything about you or tell him anything that you hadn't already previously scripted like you did for everyone else that would ask you questions. 

_You pass princess peach and are in first place now. it's the final lap._

You couldn't help it, you didn't know how to talk to people. You had a boring personality. It's why you were so bad at making friends. In the past friends you did manage to make would grow tired of you after a while and soon slowly stop talking to you no matter how much you tried to keep their interest. You would even try introducing them to acquaintances you had who'd share common interests. They would become friends with them and slowly drop you from the picture. You blame it on your bad habit of oversharing when you first meet someone and you scare them away. All you really knew how to do was bother people.

Did.....You bother him too? You've been managing your anxiety and depression pretty well for a while very well.. Not great, but well enough not to do anything to yourself since he was around. A few time you _did_  almost break down in front of him when you couldn't do something the right way or made a mistake. It was always the smallest of things, from knocking your drink over, to misplacing something in your hands the moment you sat it down. You feel embarrassed for how you must have looked like an idiot trying not to cry when you screwed up making stuffed omelettes yesterday morning and then proceeded to ignored him completely when he asked if you were alright through out the day. You know it was rude, but someone asking always made it worst and you wouldn't be able to hold back the tears then. 

Did he think that you're stuck up for that? You hadn't been very talkative to him givin how long he's been here with you. You look over at him when he starts snickering to himself and you're hit with a blue shell as Tode speeds past you taking first place.

"MWEH HEH! THAT'S THREE TIMES IN A ROW!" he smiles gleefully as he throws his hands up in the air dropping the controller. 

"How are you better than me, you've only played this game like _three times_..."

"BECAUSE I'M THE GREATEST!"

"Yeah, you actually are..." you say monotone. The smallest of things always felt so impossible to do without embarrassing yourself in front of him, any mistake you made would immediately make you feel like his eyes on you, criticizing, judging you, and you'd swear that he was muttering insults to you about your incapability to do something so basic.

It was just your imagination. No matter how much you wanted to believe the manic whispers from the voices of past enemies in your head telling you that it wasn't. 

_You were becoming unstable_.

It was always the same pattern, it only a matter of time for something to knock over the domino that would lead to self destructing decisions you would start unconsciously making, and the disconnect from reality to happen. His hands lower and the corners of his smile drop a little. "Um...has something been bothering you..?" there was always something bothering you, not just one thing, there was a lot but you couldn't tell him that.

"Just...thinking about stuff..." You scratch at your shoulder staring blankly at the screen as the numb feeling starts to resurface again. You needed to leave... Being at home wasn't good for you right now.

"Hey, do you want to go for a ride?"

"Where to?"

You shrug. "I dunno, just out somewhere, just want to get out of the house for a bit. Drive around, get some fresh air." you shrug again.

"Sure!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :|


	13. Flea market

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More shit no one asked for

The two you found yourselves at a flea market off the side of a freeway. You typically avoided such places due to them just being full of merchants that were rip off artists. Saling mostly just useless junk or cheaply made overpriced clothing that they bought from a local store and sold for double the price at their plot. When Sans asked if you could check it out, you tried to stay optimistic about it but really didn't want to be around more people right now. You would have rather have just kept on driving until you made it to the coastal road to see the ocean view, you don't know if he's seen it before but thought the view would be nice to see after the week you two had. Turning onto the off-ramp you give it a chance guessing it could be fun.

After paying 5$ to the toll man to get inside, he shot a bored look pass you to Sans and told you to enjoy the action with a heavy accent. Pulling away confused you spend a painstaking amount of time trying to find a parking spot in the crowded parking lot. There were a lot of trucks and windowless vans that made you feel uneasy but you reminded yourself that people usually bought a lot of construction tools, and equipment that others would typically steal once they saw them unattended. Still, it was odd. You finally find a spot and the two of you exit the car stepping out into the blazing heat. You tell Sans to stay close to you and not to wander off or to talk to anyone as you lock the doors. The smell of exhaust fumes and tires fill your nose as you walk side by side until you're through the gates where another man hands you a neon yellow flyer giving you and Sans a once over that made your skin crawl. you immediately throw in the trash behind him without looking at it, you already knew what stuff they had here. Your mom would sometimes bring you and your brothers here as kids to look around for old toys sometimes. 

The place was packed and you start to regret coming here. There were too many people. you knew that there would be and stupidly thought you'd be ok. Discomfort starts to set in as you look around and anxiety sharply stabs at your stomach like small needles the more you do. For starts, you didn't see many to any monsters here. The ones you did see were large muscular ones only peppered in doing hard labored work lifting and carrying boxes and crates that obviously needed a dollie, which meant one of two possible bad things you defiantly didn't want Sans around. The crowd consisted of mostly sleazy looking men and a few women and children, but you barely saw anyone under the age of 21 here. Red flags start going off in your head.

 _"They have those here!?_ " Sans suddenly says excitedly from next to you. "Can we go look at them,  _please??_ "

"W-what?" You stutter, he points through the crowd to a dark tint full of something glowing and light blue a few gazebos down from the entrance.

"Those are from waterfall!" He grabs your hand cupping it in between his turning to face you and brings it up to his chest. "Can we go?" He begged like a small child would for ice cream on a hot day like this. Your eyes flicked up to everyone that passes by. They're staring. A lot of glares and mugging are thrown at Sans as he pouts up at you. " _A-acctually I think we should go_..." You mumble, locking eyes with a few of them as your brows lower into a mirroring unfriendly appearance the longer they looked at you two.

"Please???" You tare your eyes away from a woman no older than yourself, with a foul look on her face as she held eye contact with you when she passive-aggressively questions why "some people let those things touch them like that." In an of course "indirect way." You swallow down your nervousness and try to ignore the fire slowly burning within your stomach and clench your free hand into the rim of your hoodie.

"Just real quick and then we're leaving." You mumble glancing back and forth at people passing by. Keep your hand on his shoulder as you both zig-zag your way through the crowd, fisting your hand into his hoodie pulling him closer to you each time he almost bumped into anyone giving him that vile stare. Most of the plots were the same, either having a bunch of old junk, tools, nicknacks, clothing, rugs or cheap toys and food. Everyone you pass by was watching you too, _but mostly at Sans_. When it wasn't a look of disgust it was one of interest, as if he were a basket that said free money on a paper attached to it. Amongst the loud murmur of people talking you hear a man yell _how much_  from somewhere in the crowd behind you.

People would often yell for prices to merchants when they were too lazy to walk over to the gazebo that sold something they wanted.

" _Yellow hoodie, how much?_ "  He...wasn't talking about you was he? You look around in doubt that he was talking to you but find no one else in a yellow hoodie and your heart rate picks up. Did he think you were trying to sale Sans? Swallowing nervously you slip your hand into his bony one and start walking faster glancing at him relieved to see his excited smile still in place too focused on the glowing rocks.

" _Aye big gal, wait!_ "

You needed to get out of this place. 

Once your there Sans smile brightens tenfold and he let's go of your hand rushing to one of the tables inside full of glowing blue mushrooms and crystals. It was a jewelry stand. What wasn't just a raw crystal was made into earrings, necklaces, rings, bracelets, some of them decorated headbands and coiled wires. You look around behind you to make sure whoever was calling to you wasn't near you yet.

" _Hello_ , Welcome." A shrill, and low voice greets you and you look over to the back of the tint to find a monster who resembled a lantern fish with sea foam green scales, droopy yellow eyes, and short cerulean hair that swept halfway over her face covering one eye. Her head floating over what looked like a giant lamprey with two yellow spikes coming out of it's back and arms resting at her sides. 

"H-hi.." 

" _Please let us know if you have any questions."_

_Us?_

You look around the dark tint not finding anyone else but hear a woman speaking loudly about crates and supplies from the other side of the back of the tint. Looking between the fish monsters head and her body you double take when you see another collar around her torso. 

 _There's two of them_.

"Um..I-i will..." You are your eyes away from them and look back at some of the tables. These came from the underground huh? They were beautiful but... You look back up to the monster girl who jumps when you catch her staring at you. "These all came from waterfall?" You ask lightly and she looks a little surprised and nods. "How did you get them?" You ask picking up a necklace hanging on a display stand. 

" _All of the crystals were mined_. Out of the cavern walls."

"Did you guys do that before coming to the surface too?"

" _No, we kept the caverns beauty preserved_. Only pictures were taken."

_You knew it. You can't buy this stuff for yourself._

Ever since monsters came up to the surface humans flooded underground to explore it and in the process stripped it of it's natural resources and raw materials for money. You heard they even started building apartment complexes for housing down there. Frowning you put it back and glance over to Sans as he held a magenta crystal with something triangular inside of it. A wide set middle aged man with a scruffy looking brown beard wearing a baseball cap grey fishing shirt and blue jeans steps partially inside to look at Sans catches your attention and your heart jumps again as stabbing pains attack your stomach. 

_He could just be looking at the crystals._

He steps into the tent a little more leaning most of his weight on one foot and looks him over.

You didn't want to rush him but you wanted to leave. "That what you want?" You call over to Sans, he _and_ the man look at you and the man points to himself raising his brows but looks surprised when Sans speaks. "Ummm..." He looks around the tint and goes the other side to look at the glowing mushrooms closer towards you. "These too!" You nod him over to the Fish and lamprey monsters and go to pay for the items. Glancing back at the man, you watch him walk back out over to another one standing with his arms crossed that was looking at you. You nervously turn away to focus on the lamprey monster putting the crystals into a small velvet box and sack made of the same materials. 

" _53.71$ please._ " You raise your eyebrow at her and reach into your back pocket to pull out your wallet.  _Holy shit this stuff wasn't cheap_.

" _What was she in there doing?"_ Through the murmur of talking outside the tint, you could hear them speak. You open your wallet to pull out three twenties and hand them to the monster under her.

 _"Buying it crystals."_ You can hear the other man's shrug in his voice.

" _That a good looking one?_ _how much you think it's goin for?.."_ You look over your shoulder at them as they talk amongst themselves. 

 _"Yeah, couple hundred maybe_. _Has a chip though, so she may try to get close to a thousand for it."_ The other one says.

" _I'm tryina get a pair. If i can't get thisin ima have ta sale the other one, he's too aggressive_."

" _Think it's female?"_

 _"Uhdunuh, could be, pretty small compared to'em._ " The man shrugs and they both look back at you raising their brows when they see you looking at them. 

 _Fuck_.

"Excuse me, miss." They both start walking towards you. You grab the small bag and push it into Sans pocket placing your arm around his shoulder. Looking straight ahead and ignore them. "Thank you, _please have a nice day_." The two monsters say to you as you leave.

"Hello, Hi, I was wonderin how much your-" you don't spare him a glance and walk out of the tent heading straight for the market entrance. 

"Woah, Woah hey!" One of the men calls to you from behind and you ignore him but the other one rushes to your side and steps in front of you. "Look I know you're eager to get to the auc-" you turn the other way pulling Sans along with you clenching your teeth. "Who's that?" Sans asks as he slows down to try to look at them but you yank him forward and don't say anything.

"I can double whatever you paid for'em!" The man calls to you and you walk faster. "What is he talking about?" Sans mumbles and looks over his shoulder at him curiously. "Is he trying to buy the cheese encrusted in the crystal we bought?" You don't answer. You should have left the moment you arrived here, they thought you were here to sale him.

"Hold yer horses, sugar-" The other man gently grabs your shoulder to get your attention and you shrug his hand off of you and glare at him. "I'm _not_ interested." You grumble as your grip on Sans tightens and you pull him closer.

"I know you've probably been asked before you came in, but we can give you more than you'll get'em at the auct-"

You hold your hand up cutting him off. " ** _No. Thank you_**." You grab Sans hand with your other one and power walk away this time. Cutting a few corners and walking deeper into the market you try to get away from the dealers. You don't know where you're headed but as long as it's away from them. There was an Auction going on here, that's what the guy with the heavy accent said to you, not action. You needed to get far away from them and this place before Sans see's something he didn't need to. Being here period already looked bad enough.

" _I've got another one like it, I'm trying to get a pair, please!_ " This dude really wasn't trying to let up. 

"Where are we going?"

"Trying to find another way out."

"B-but we parked on that side." Sans stops, gently trying to pull his hand back and throws his thumb over his shoulder.

" _I know_." You grab his sleeve pulling him along with you again.

"Then why are we going this way?" You don't answer. After passing a few more gazeebos you spot an exit and a couple of yards away and a large gathering of people sitting off to the side near it. You don't look to see what it is, you already know and it makes your stomach churn. Pulling Sans closer you wrap your arm around his right shoulder again and grab hood pulling it over his skull telling him to keep his head down until you get back to the car. He asks what's wrong and what's going on as he tries to pull back his hood to look around his collar starts to rapidly blink and stops. Out of the corner of your eye you see a small cluster of small monsters and an arrange of colorful stripes standing off to the side behind a small stage were a man at a podium was. Prices being yelled and raised every few seconds as a person in the sitting crowd raises a small paddle soon being accompanied by a gabble bang when the price ceases to elevate any higher and a purple blob slowly walks off the stage to be replaced a silver and green quadrupedal one before prices are yelled again.

Sickness slowly raises in your throat and you swallow down the bile that threatens to spew out. 

You feel eyes on you as you two pass and whispers about rarities, your heart is racing and sweat start to build on your brow. It's hard to breathe and your chest starts to tighten as it gets hard to walk. You hear sans hiss in pain and tell you that it hurts but it's not clicking to you that you're the reason why. He kept asking you questions but you could only hear ringing over his muffled voice.

You don't know when the two of you got to the car. You stood there silently. You hear more muffled talking every now and then when suddenly you feel something slither along the side of your thigh where your pants pocket was and immediately shove the thing it was connected to away with an open palm making it roughly fall back into the car and you keys fall to the ground. 

You don't know how long you stood there. But after a moment of standing there your keys are picked up and driver's door is unlocked a gentle hand guides you to sit within the oven-like heat. Once you slip inside you just stare blankly at the steering wheel as your fingers dig into the soft fuzzy fabric of the car seat your heart still beating hard in your chest. The passenger door opens after a moment and Sans slips in, he reaches over to place the keys into the ignition and starts the car to turn on the ac to full blast. A wave of heat hits you before being replaced with a refreshing chill after a few moments. You shakily bring your hands to rest on the hot leather of your steering wheel as your nose starts to sting and swell. He asks you something and you look over to him to him as he closes his door. He looked worried and asks you again. You eyes start to burn and a faint whimper leaves you as you choke back your cry and rest your head on the steering wheel. 

After six minutes of holding in your cries as you pant and shutter, you finally close the door and buckle your seat belt and drive home trying to forget the small glance you did give and the crying faces of the two small monster children you locked eyes with amongst the rest of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im the queen of flat endings


	14. Nothings Wrong...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans gets a heavy does of reality again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im bad at this...  
> More nothing

"(Y/n)?..." Sans stands in the doorway as he watches you do the laundry.

"...yeah?.." Throwing what was left of the wet clothes into the dryer you close the door and turn it on and start on the rest if the dirty clothes.

"... What's your job?..."

"...don't have one..." You reply curtly. Great..you were hoping he wouldn't bring this up, but he's been here long enough to notice that you really didn't do anything other than sit around the house all day.

"...you don't?" He mumbles almost shocked. 

"No." He's really quiet after that and you lean back up from the washing machine to give him a quick glance. His eye sockets were empty looking down at the steps deep in thought as he slowly came down them.

"...How do you pay bills?"

"With money. " Your sarcasm with him lately was even starting to get on your own nerves, you don't know why you kept being snarky with him, you just did it.

"...I mean, where does it come from?"

"..." Why was he worried about it, it's not like he was going to be out of a home anymore, you promised yourself that you'd at least take care of him and have him taken care of for as long as he lived. As long as he was happy, that's all that mattered.

"The bank."

"Is it all saved up or something?" He asks slowly, his voice picking up in pitch towards the end. 

You turn to squint at him in annoyance. " _Why_." 

He looks back down at the ground. "..I'm just wondering how you pay for things..." He says quietly and you sigh.

_You know what he's trying to say_.

"You don't have to worry about anything sans, that's my responsibility. Taking care of bills, the house, you and anything else is something you don't have to worry about, ok?"

"...But... What if you need help?"

" _I won't_." You didn't want his help, for him to feel like he was a burden on you. You tried to make it obvious that he wasn't and that things will be ok, it was one of the reasons why you gave him his new job, eating out more, buying things for him... You didn't want him to feel like anything was wrong but you knew he saw it, how stressed out you were. You dipped into your savings more than you wanted to, just to make him happy, to keep him from worrying...that's all you wanted.

"But what if there was an emergency though? And you don't have enough..."

" _What are you so worried about?_ " You bite out at him.  Your starting to feel inadequate.

" _You eat every day, have clothes on your back, I even pay you to help me get in shape, you don't have to do anything,_ " You lean against the washing machine and gesture around the room before placing your hand on your hip. "So what are you worried about?" 

He looks away and is silent, you can hear him breathing through his mouth as he stares down as the floor.

"I-im not ungreatful... I'm just worried about you." He mumbles almost to quiet for you to hear.

" _Why_."

"..." He glances back up at you with dim pinpricks and you raise your eyebrows at him for him to continue.

" _You haven't been eating_." He mutters.

" _Because i'm not hungry_." You turn to put the rest of the laundry into the dryer and close the door setting the timer to an hour. And start on the next load.

"...w-well...a-as your personal trainer i think you should, i know you want to lose weight but i advise against doing so this way-"

"I'm not doing it to lose weight. I'm just. Not. Hungry." 

"But you still should eat even if you aren't much and even if you are struggling!-" 

"-Sans, look...My financial situation wouldn't be any different if you weren't around ok? I just buy more food than I used to and go out more, that's it." you say and turn back to your chore. "I understand your concern and thank you. I get it. I know it's not healthy but it's not like I'm starving to death... It'll take a while for that ok?" You say gesturing to yourself. 

* * *

Sans started to noticed that even with all the grocery you buy for the house you don't really eat. He wasn't paying any attention at first until he noticed that you were starting to lose a lot more weight faster. He thought it was from his tough training at first but when he actually sat down and thought about it, _it was because you weren't eating_. It's been like that ever since that panic attack at the flea market, he knew one when he seen one. Paps would have them a lot too when the threat of humanity to monster kind started to arise again. He still doesn't know what caused it or what you saw, but days before that he had noticed a few things were...off... about you. It must have been building up. You didn't show signs of violence towards him or yourself, but the way you would sometimes blank out while doing things still scared him. Like your mind would just leave you sometimes. In short to say that you were just tired like you seemed to like to tell anyone who asked what was wrong was an understatement.

_You were sick_. Not just physically as of recent but possibly on a serious mental level.

He'd usually only seen you drink things and that's about it, mostly water but sometimes juice but usually just water. It was like that even when you guys went to go eat somewhere or when you'd cook at home. Sometimes though you'd order or make a bunch of food for the two of you, and you'd eat until you were sick and then wouldn't for a couple of days.

" _I'm just on a diet._ " You'd say and for a while he believed it, he thought it was just some weird but didn't think twice about it.

 

Every now and then he'd see you eat a few apples or an orange but it was only ever healthy snack stuff.

 

_And even then it wasn't a lot._

 

The two of you would go to a restaurant, he'd get what was most appealing to him and you'd just order either water, or a coffee.

"Wow you're really sticking to this diet huh?" He'd ask.

"Girl's gotta do what she's gotta do." You'd shrug and he'd happily stuff his face and go on chatting about stuff he wanted to do with you and Papyrus when you two found him while you stared blankly at your cup with a worn out expression. When you started getting sick, he had to slow down with training you, you were becoming too weak to get out of bed and often complained of stomach pains. He wanted to admit you into a hospital but you refused claiming you were still just over worked from his training. your hair was starting to fall out, and your skin looked clammy and lifeless. You started staying in bed more than you usually did and sometimes couldn't even stomach anymore than just water. He'd hear you throwing up not much later after you would snack on something. A few days after that you just stopped eating all together.

When the realization dawned on him he felt terrible recalling all those times.

_You were starving yourself_.

He'd try to get you to eat by asking you to taste test his food when he'd cook or taste what he got when you went out to eat and you'd always say the same thing.

"I'm not really hungry." Or "I'm fine." And wear the same blank expression.

He didn't know why you were.

The first time he brought up why you wouldn't eat you started ordering small things off the menu, usually the cheapest thing. The two of you would look at the menu together after you were seated and a few moments later you'd close yours and tell him what you were getting and he'd look at his own to see what it was only to find that it was really cheap. When he'd question why, you'd just say the same thing.

" _I'm not really hungry_..." He started to hate those words.

When ever the two of you went out to eat you didn't tell him what you were getting anymore after that. He'd try to play it off by asking what you felt hungry for and you'd just tell him you didn't know but when the waiter would come you'd tell them right away.

He didn't know what was going on with you, everything seemed normal, you didn't do anything you normally didn't do. 

He decided to search the web for help. 

He spent hours upon hours looking up reasons for hunger loss along with your behavior and why someone would stop eating. Mental illnesses and eating disorders are what he found. After reading over a few of them he found the one that was most fitted to how you've been acting.

He couldn't pin point any of the others accept for one,it was anorexia 

* * *

Sitting on the floor of his room, he looks at all the money he's saved up that you gave...No, _paid him_ from his job as your trainer.

There was so much...

When he was underground he never get paid for his duties, Papyrus always bought him stuff as a reward for his hard work. But this time he actually earned it himself and he had been able to buy all kinds of things he always wanted with his own money, it felt nice. You were unbelievably generous to him, when he did the math you were defiantly overpaying him, 50$ for two hours a day seemed like way too much when he learned what minimum wage was in this city. He thumbs through the stack of bills counting what was left over from his last big splurge. Still plenty left but he should start saving up just in case an emergency did happened. 

He wanted to treat you out, for everything you've done for him. There wasn't many places he personally knew that allowed monsters that were very nice. So maybe another simple place would do fine. You seemed to like Morning Star a lot and he could ask your friend if he knew some things about you that would probably help with your mood. He finally picked up your eating pattern so the timing was right. Taking out a few bucks he places a rubber band around the wad of cash and stick it back into the small box and places it back into the small safe you gave to him. Getting up he puts it into his wallet and heads into the hallway.

"Hey, (y/n)?" He calls to you from the hallway.

"Yeah?" Your muffled voice comes from the other side of your bedroom door.

"A-are you hungry?" He waits a moment and hears you come to the door and open it. You were wearing an oversized hoodie and sweat pants, your messy hair tide in a low pony tail and your eyes were sunken and had dark circles under them. You looked as worn out as usual as of lately. 

"Sure, I guess i could eat...What did you want help cooking?" This was probably his only chance to do this.

"Actually, I wanted to take you out to eat." 

* * *

Sitting inside of Morning Star you watch her closely out of the corner of your socket as she talks to her spider friend about someone named Moz. She had ordered chicken tenders and mozzarella sticks which honest to Asgore surprised him, but instead of eating it, it sat in front of you for a while as you continued to talk with he waiter. The spider monster had pointed out that you looked a little thinner along with why you weren't eating your food and you tell him that you were just waiting for it to cool down and continue talking about people he didn't know  until he had to go in the back for a while.

"How's your food?" He asked lightly and you look down at your plate almost as if it insulted you. You take one of the fried cheese sticks and slowly nibble on it.

It still confused as to why she would be doing this to herself. 

"It's good..." She shrugs but still continues to slowly eat.

She turns to get up and head to the bathroom when a small monster kid with yellow scales and no arms balancing a milkshake on his head bumps into her knocking the dairy drink onto her and she gasps. The monster kid gasps loudly profusely apologizing. 

"God dammit kid! I told ya to watch were you were going!" A woman on the far left side of the bar yells at the monster child and your face reflexively scrunched up as you looked at her.

"I I-im sorry! I-i i didn't see you!" He looked scared out of his mind but you gently help the small monster up to his feet.

"It's ok, really, accidents happen little dude." She smiled at him and Kumo hands her a stack of napkins, to which she takes and wipes off what she can that spilled on him.

"I'm going to the bathroom ok? Be right back, K keep an few eyes on him alright?" She says wiping her throw over and leaves. You watch her as she walks away and wait a few moments before quickly turning to Kumo.

"Can you tell me about (y/n) please? Like what she's like and stuff?"

"Don't you _live_ with her?" Kumo says placing the nicecream shake down in front of him. "You should already know a lot about her." he finishes with a snarky look and Sans huffs irritably, not caring  for his sassiness. 

"Can you tell me about her or not?" Sans pouts as he glares up at kumo. The spider monster crosses two of his arms smirking down at the small skeleton. "Depends, what'cha got for me?" 

"You want a bribe?" Sans grumbles squinting at him. He didn't have time for this, he needed just needed a few questions answered before you came back.

"Yes." His smirk drops as he stares down at him and Sans huffs leaning back into his seat. He pats down his pockets quickly and his hand bumps against something hard. Pulling it out he finds the magenta cheese encrusted crystal he got from the flea market. He really didn't want to give it up, finding things encrusted in crystal wasn't easy even in the underground. He lucked out that day. Clenching it in his fists he gently places it on the bar sliding it over to him. "(Y/n)... Somethings wrong with her..." He looks down at his lap "You've had to have noticed right?..." 

"I've known her for years....there's always been something wrong with her, It's nothing new to me." Kumo says almost dismissively as he takes the crystal in his second right hand and starts whipping down to counter. 

" _Did you know she has anorexia?"_ He mutters and Kumo looks back to him with raised brows when he finds the small skeleton looking at him almost crossed between anger and sadness and he stops to fully face him.

"I wouldn't be surprised." He mutters and shrugs.

" _Don't you even care? You're her friend you're supposed to do something!_ " 

" _What do you expect me to do?_ " Kumo steps back towards Sans setting down the small crate of dirty dishes occupying two of his left hands and point to his chest with his upper right hand. "You live with her, you do something.  _I can't leave and visit her when ever i up and feel like it."_

_"At least say something!"_ Sans yells in a hushed whisper. _  
_

_"Don't think you've noticed but i don't have any type of freedom, there's only so much i'm aloud to say to her._ " Kumo snaps but keeps it no louder than a quiet whisper as he glares at him and sans expression softens.

"But...I thought your roommate let you do whatever you wante-"

"- _Roommate?_ " He laughs dryly. "No sweety, i'ma slave, _just like you_." He stares down at him with scrutinizing eyes and sans hand comes up and his eye sockets widen a bit when his phalanges tap against the collar around his neck.

He had forgotten all about it. You never actually make him do anything and always gave him clothes to hide it. Ever since he was able to use his more of magic everything almost felt as if he wasn't a slave, but the collar served as a reminder. Kumo's second right hand come up to tap at the collar around his own neck again as he leans on the counter folding four of his arms, his hands resting in the pit of his elbows. The other two come down to fold his hands in front of him

"My _master_? let's me relax and act how i want here so he can make face to get more business here, you think anyone would want to come here if they knew what type of person he really was? If they saw he actually treats me?" He whispers bitterly and his collar starts rapidly blinking.

" _How much than man beats and molests me?_ " Sans eye sockets widen and eye lights disappear as a look of pure horror adorns his face. "Oh yeah, It's real sweety. And it happens to a lot of us. _Daily_." 

Guilt starts to swell within his rib cage. He really hadn't thought about how bad everyone else life was ever since he started living with you. While he was out enjoying his like again after so long, everyone else was suffering.

"Roommate huh?" Kumo says it almost jealously and sans looks back up to him. "That's really what she has you calling her? _I thought that was a joke_." Kumo closes his eyes and scoffs shaking his head. "You really don't understand how good you have it with her do you?" Kumo asks him but it sounded more like a statement and sans stares blankly at the counter. "She buys you gifts, clothes...takes you out to eat every week, _let's you sleep in her own bed_."

How did he-

"Not all humans are as kind as she is. I'd cut off my own arms and legs to be living with her like you were. I'd give anything just to be able to take care for that girl, Don't _ever_ think I wouldn't do something..." It came out as a threat and a magenta smoke starts to flume from one his hands and the blinking light on his collar changes from white to yellow in warning.

"I-i-im sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Your voice makes him jump and he turns to see you coming back from the restroom, your hoodie was soaked and you looked warn out as if you just went through hell and back. You looked really sick before you went in so he doubts you were just cleaning up.

" _Said he thought my puns weren't funny_." Kumo lies. "Called them cheesy." He holds up a wedge of cheddar cheese in his left hand that the crystal was in and Sans eyesockets widen.

You snerk taking your seat again. "Boo." 

"Oh, no not you too." Kumo chuckles. "Hey can I get this to go? I need to go home now that i'm all wet." 

"I knew my jokes were good, but damn girl." He jokes and you roll your eyes as he turns to  go get a to go box. "Har har..." You fake laugh and wait until he's gone.

"....What where you two really talking about? He didn't say anything rude to you did he?" You mutter as you glance at the double doors. He shakes his skull. "Didn't make you uncomfortable did he?" 

He knew he couldn't lie. His collar was a dead give away. "A little..." You sigh and don't say anything when the spider waiter comes back and he gives sans a pointed look, after packing away your food. You don't say a word to him as you turn to leave and he follows suit.

"Take care, come again..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont know.  
> I know im confusing all of you with these weird updates but as i said before chapters got mixed up and had trouble fixing them but im finally adding them now. Yay i guess...


	15. Oops...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You only wanted to take a cute picture together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut.

"Are you done yet?" he says, the boredom obvious in his tone.

"C'mon, when was the last time we got to do something like this?" you smile.

The two of you sat cuddled up in the living room on the couch as you repeatedly failed at taking a decent photo while kissing him on the cheek. Every one of them coming out unfocused.

He sighs a little annoyed and you pepper kisses on his cheek giggling and apologize for taking so long. Wrapping his arms around your waist he pulled you closer nuzzling his head into yours as you swipe through your news feed on facebook, you had seen a cute post of multiple couples dropping selfies of themselves in the comment section and thought it would be nice to do too.

"We don't take too many photos together anyways so this was long overdue."

"Who's fault is that? I'm always trying to but you always say 'nO IM NoT PHotOgEnIc~." he teases as he pinches your cheek and you smack his hand away getting up to head to the laundry room after giving up, he follows.

"I'm not cute like you are." You say as you head down the stairs and over to the washing machine to switch the clothes over. 

"You're right, what's wrong with me? Cute is an understatement! You're a total hottie " He flirts as you open the washing machine lid as you bend over to reach the clothes in the bottom of the washer, he grabs you by the hips to pull you to him so he could grind the forming bulge in his shorts against your ass. You lean back up to give him an uninterested look for him to reply with kissing your shoulder and giving a small nibble. His hands roaming up from your hips under the hem of your top to squeeze and paw at your breast through the fabric of your bra. He knew it would rial you up, he loved to tease you and leave you whining for more was an annoying card he loved to play when he had no intentions of giving you what you wanted. He wanted to hear you beg him to give it to you, but you knew he wouldn't. He wanted you to wait.

Since becoming intimate the two of you would have sex constantly, especially when things got hard for you emotionally. You knew he was worried about your relapsing again and did as much as he could to keep your mind off of it. It got to the point where it was too much that it started breaking you mentally too.

You knew he loved you above and beyond the stars but he was bad with words. For a while you questioned if it was actual love or was it really just lust he had for you but he quickly put those thoughts to rest when he doted on you daily. 

"(y/n).." he said looking at you as you stared at him, his voice dipped into a low seductive tone. He did this often whenever he wanted to get frisky with you and was trying to be sexy but really it just came off as goofy to you and found it cute.

You knew where this was going.

A while ago you talked about how it would be a turn on to have sex in different parts of the house to try something new, you ended up blowing him on the couch while jacking him off with your tits squeezed around the shaft of his cock. Titfucks always got him the best orgasms, shooting ropes of cum all over your face as his cum dripped onto your breast.

".. Let's not get too carried away this time ok? Just-" he kisses you cutting you off.

"-Kissing and light petting today I have to leave in an hour. "

" _We'll see_." he smirked.

The two of you kiss for a while as he holds you in his arms. You smile against his mouth enjoying the sweet feeling of his hands slowly roaming your body. You missed this, it had been a few weeks since the two of you have had time for something like this since his brother came to stay. 

You push him back gently, guiding him to the chair next to the laundry table.

"Sit"

He quickly makes himself comfortable as you turn to press your ass against his lap to grind on him again slowly. He places his hands on your hips slowly rubbing them giving soft squeezes before moving up to your belly rubbing small circles into it and you groan. 

"No..why there?.." You whine.

"You know your _squish pouch_ is my favorite part of you, baby." He says and kisses your neck.

"Ugh don't call it that..." You move to try to stand and he grabs your breast.

"Don't be like that, when's the last time we got to do something like this?" He's squeezing them gently messaging them through the fabric. You could feel your nipples harden as he presses into them. You moan and stand up.

"Get up,come here" You say lowly backing away from him until your back hit the dryer as he rises you unbutton your pants pulling them down just enough to free your heated lower lips. Pulling his hips to yours, you grab the back of his neck kissing him deeply running your hand down the front of his shorts and stroke his hardening cock. He groans and you push your tongue pass his teeth to tangle with his pulling back to kiss and nibble at his neck and then pull away.

"Take those off. Now."

He hesitantly pulls them down glancing at the door.

"Both of them.."

You gestured to his boxers. He quickly fixed his mistake and you make quick work of his thick cock gently stroking as you rubbed quick circles into your clit.

"No one will come in here for a while, it's ok." He hums as he squeezed your tits again until you push him away to lift up your tank top only to struggle to free yourself from your bra as he pumps his erection a few times.

"It's ok, you don't have to " he said

"No,no I can! Let me just-"

Freeing your left tit from it's confines he attacked the nipple instantly sucking and flicking his tongue over the small nub making you moan loudly as he yanks down the other cup and pinched and twists the other one. You felt your lips began to slick soaking your fingers making it easier to swirl around your little pink button. when he replaced your fingers with his pumping into your soaked heat before moves closer slipping his length in between your thighs as he removes his fingers thrusting the head of his cock over your clit slowly matching your pace and you lose it.

"Nnghh..Hha...ple..sse~"you choke out and he twists you around lining up his cock with your entrance and hilts himself inside of you in one thrust making you scream loudly with pleasure as your walls flutter around his length.

He hisses letting you adjust to his size before setting a slow pace as he reaches around to rub over you clit and your close. "I love you (y/n)." you roll your hips back into him and he growls pulling back then slamming into you.

"I miss you.." he says as he continues his assault on your clit.

"B-but ah~ i-im right here..hah." you moan out confused.

"I miss you (y/n)..please don't come home yet." he nibbles at your neck and you wrap your arms behind his head fingers raking through his black hair before it squishes into something mushy and wet with the consistency of warm ink and you start to smell iron. He hisses and screams in pain making you jump and yank your hand away to find blood and flesh on it.

"Wha-

* * *

 

Your phone's alarm goes off. You slowly open your eyes to find yourself in your room.

_Just another dream...._

You depressingly huff disappointed and sexually frustrated. This was the fourth day in a row of wet dreams about Jd. You must be close to your period..

Sighing and grabbing your phone dismissing the alarm. It's 8:17 am. You unlock your phone screen and stare at the photo of him. You missed him.. Sitting up you look around squinting as you scratch under your boob yawning and stretch letting out a symphony of cracks and pops. You don't remember getting up from the couch after falling back asleep with Sans on you. The both of you passed out after watching Disney movies. Even though he was a skeleton he was surprisingly nice to cuddle with some how. The two of you warmed up so quickly to each other... It had been a few days since you had first brought Sans home after all and things were...awkward..

More than a few times you've embarrassed yourself in front of him. Throwing the covers off of you and swing your feet over the edge of the bed. You're kind of glad you were in your room after that dream..your thighs we're slick with your arousal, if Sans had seen that you'd probably throw yourself off a cliff from embarrassment.

You needed to go grocery shopping and pick up some stuff for the house along with buying more clothes for Sans, you'd been putting it off for too long now.

Ughh..

You hated grocery shopping. You always ended up spending hours at the store either  because there were too many people or the cashiers always had troubles with the registers... You think back to when you used to work retail at Sears. It was fucking terrible. The registers were always slow and people would start to get rude due to having to wait for so long. Being on the receiving end was never great...

stuck in your thoughts you get up and head into the living room to find sans on the couch eating cereal and watching Steven Universe. Awesome, it had been a while since Cartoon Network had shown it.

He had disdained it the first time you two had watched it together saying cartoons were for kids but quickly got into it after three episodes.

"Hey dude.." You rasp from the hall doorway twisting your arm behind you to scratch your back.

He turns to you with starry eye sockets smiling nervously with sweat on his skull only for it to drop spluttering out his food and quickly turns away blushing. You stare at him confused before looking down to see you're in only your damp panties and a very thin tank top rolled up your stomach.

_Fucking dammit..._

You facepalm and head back to your room and slamming the door shut.


	16. Uh oh.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans does some stuff to your soul he didn't mean to do, and it leads to something you're probably going to hate him for, for the rest of your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans p.o.v.  
> Smut*  
> You guys are going to hate me for this...

When you wake up you were still on the couch with (y/n) laying in between her legs, with your arms still wrapped around her soft body and skull on her belly. Nuzzling into her, you breathe in her sweet scent and your soul throbs. It felt nice to be close like this, to have someone warm like this next to him for once...

Cuddling into her belly more looking up at her face, she's still sleeping. You knew it was probably creepy to look at her like this without her permission and it was against the law to remove a humans soul from their body, but you were curious. Your hands roam over her wide hips them giving soft squeezes before moving up to her belly and rubbing small circles into it letting out a sigh closing your eyesockets. Soon your left hand wanders up to her chest pulling out her soul. As It hovers slightly above her body and you stare at it memorized by the soft glow emitting from it, but start to feel a little unsettled as it begans to dim and web-like cracks come into view on the surface.

You knew something was wrong with her. A lot of things about her were.. Off, but you never expected _this_. Stuff like this only happened through sever trama. 

When you met (y/n) you were terrified of her but when you looked at her soul you felt hopeful again. Something you thought you had forgotten how to do since you had lost Papyrus. She wasn't bad like you were expecting her to be though a lot of things about her were still very strange the longer you were around her. But unlike your other owners souls her's didn't have the sickening appearance of rust like spots that mirrors would get that spread over it as if it were a diseas. She gave you a lot of things to appreciate and showed you so much care and compassion compared to your other owners. She's the first human that has actually treated you as her equal rather than her property. 

With the way things were going for the past month you were 100% certain that the two of you were dating now. She insisted to let you stay in her bedroom and sleep in her bed. That was already third base already wasn't it?? She even flirted with you while you were playing with the juvenal puzzle on your first day with her. You were certain she was had strong feelings for you right off the bat after that, and the way she would care for you... She even followed all the steps in your dating manual daily.

Before the two of you would leave for dates she'd always showered much longer than it was necessary spending almost an hour doing so, if you didn't get in before her she'd use all the hot water, she'd put on makeup only to scrub all of it off completely and grunt and huff dissatisfied with how it looked and start over, you didn't understand why, she didn't really need it, but still looked just as nice with it, she'd wear cute clothes for you and sometimes after deciding what she had on wasn't gooed enough and would finally put on something that was loose and dull that brought more attention to her cute face. She even doused herself in perfume to show she cared. She took you places where she clearly loved to spend the most time at like the grocery store on the other side of town and would take you on long drives with her, she gave you lots of gifts like her hand-me-downs, puzzles, and even a cell phone with her phone number already in it and a customized ringtone for her number. She also told you to wear her scent covered clothes when she thought it was cold on the first night with her, proving she was hopelessly in love with you.

Darn you and your charms! You hadn't even been trying.

You gently caress the curve of her soul looking at the large number of cracks and scars in it and she giggles. Freezing you glancing up at her face, she's still sleeping.

Sighing out your worry, you trace your distal over a large scar running halfway through the center of the cartoony shaped heart and your brow bones knit together. 

_Dear Agore and Toriel...what's happened to her?..._

You think back to the box full of empty medication bottles and the box blade tucked away under the prescription papers and hospital bills in her dresser. You didn't need nor want to ask about those. She would disassociate from thing every now and again if you asked her certain things about her past and you're starting to have a sneaking suspicion that she didn't have too much of a good life growing up.

Looking over her soul again you grimace.

She was hurting.

Badly.

But...why? She had a nice large house, nice stuff, and you! You were nice too,didn't you make her happy? Her life seemed stress less, worry free. What would make her so unhappy for her soul to be like this?

"....Maybe I could.." Concentrating hard you focus a small amount of green magic to your distals. Enough that would allow you to do what you needed to but so little that it wouldn't trigger the collar and gently run them over the cracks covering her soul. She groans and your eyelights shoots up to stare at her face. She's still sleeping, you look to her soul and see that some of the hairline cracks are healed.

"Oh Thank goodness! I almost thought I... I needed to be careful." You mumble to yourself if you weren't careful you might cause more damage to her soul.

It looked so fragile and healing was never your strong suit, Papyrus was always better at it. Moving on you focus more magic on the smaller cracks gently pressing into her soul and she whines shifting around as the cracks slowly start to fuse together creating a scar.

 _It worked_!

Now...just the worst ones.

Testingly you rub small circles into slowly into the deeper ones, cracks slowly fusing together like the others when she starts panting and a blush spreads across her round face and you freeze.

 

_...what's wrong with her?_

 

She grinds her hips into your sternum and moans. Your face heats up at the realization of what you're doing to her and you sit up, her legs falling on either sides of your hip bones resting on your femurs.

 

_Uh-oh..._

 

Quickly pressing her soul back to her chest you stare down at her flushed face as she squirms around and start to panic.

_Oh no look at what you did! You have to fix this! But how??.. What would Papyrus do if he was in this situation?_

You think for a moment before flushing deeply at the idea shaking your head. You couldn't do THAT with her! it's (y/n) you're talking about here! You two hadn't been date-mates long enough for _that_! Maybe you should just put her in bed? Yes! That was an excellent idea but...

 

She squeezes her thighs around you grinding up into your pubic symphysis this time and you choke back a moan.

"Mmnnh~ hhah." She's continues to grind herself into you as she whines for more. 

You knew date-mates did stuff like this but you weren't ready for this yet!

You place your hands on her hips to hold her still as she squirms around and stare down at her flushed and sweaty face.

"What do I do?..." You mumble as she continues to squirm and pant underneath you. 

 

 

"...”

 

_Why did you want to see her like this more? Goodness..She smells really nice too...Maybe you should-_

 

You bring your hands up to the exposed skin of her hips slowly rubbing them and press deep into the fat of her hip to feel her bones. It still amazed you that there was something just like you under all these layers of flesh. Messaging large circles into her iliac creast. "Nnghh. Hha...ple..sse~"she whines.

"W-wowie.." You feel your bones rattle softly against each other. 

~~_You really liked the sound of that..._ ~~

Swallowing hard you drag your hand down from her hip to hover over the buttons of her shorts and blink.

 

_Wait._

 

**_What are you doing!?_ **

 

_Snap out of it!_

 

You had to fix this. You were the magnificent Sans after all! But If you handn't been so magnificent in the first place the two of you wouldn't be in this situation.

 

 

You sigh putting your hand firmly on her hip again. You didn't know that you were so good at dating that you could arouse your date-mate in her sleep!

You only wanted to heal her...

But..

_You needed to take responsibility..._

~~_That's what Papy would do._ ~~

You needed to cool her down first though. 

That's how it worked with heats right?? But she was a human...did humans go into heat? She clearly was with the _intoxicating_ scent thats been coming from her for the past four days...what did humans call it again, ovulation? It's the same thing right?? That's why she's been letting you cuddle her a lot for the past few days,right?? She didn't really say anything about wanting to, but...

_That scent_. 

Your eye lights stare down at her crotch as the sweet smell filled the air around you.

You needed to mask it, cover it with your own so no one else could smell how ripe she was... ~~ _make everyone know that she was yours._~~

 

Wait!

 

No!

 

You shake yourself out of your thoughts.

 

You shouldn't be thinking that way of (y/n)! Wait what where you supposed to be doing again?

 

R-right! Cool her off!

 

Slowly you unzipped her hoodie and pushed the sleeves down her shoulders careful not to touch her breast without permission first. You could see her nipples through her shirt and you fight the urge to thumb over the tiny nubs gripping the fabric of the hoodie when she grinds into you again moaning.

You don't want to look at her face because you know that when you do, you won't be able to stop yourself. 

Breathing hard through your vomer bone you try to focus on something.

Her breathing. _That's good_.

Her chest is heaving up and down.

Your eye lights land on her nipples again and you start to sweat. 

Something else, her skin...

Closing your eye sockets you start to focus on the soft suppleness of her flesh as the warmth radiating off of it sinks into your bones. 

 

~~_She feels nice against your bones._ ~~

 

You squeeze her wide hips again as your mind starts to numb from the sweet scent rolling off of her again. 

 

Wait. 

 

What where you supposed to do? 

 

You open your eye sockets to look down at her face and lose it a little. 

 

You feel your left eye flare as magic swirl in your ribcage before it shoots down your spine pooling at your hips.

 

_No!_

 

More sweat beads on your skull as you surpress your magic as much as possible. Watching as her chest rised and fall as she pants hard and under you. 

 "..."

 

Maybe you should remove her tank top too..to cool her off of course! Then you could put her in bed. Your phalanges slowly slide under her shirt pushing it up the swell of her warm belly and partially over the mounds of her breast stopping just before you can get a glimps of her areola, then run your hands back down over her belly again, gliding over silky skin and squeeze gently reaching your right hand up to pull the top all the way over her breast when you pause.

W-wait..

 

_This was lewd.._

 

And **_wrong_**. 

 

You shouldn't be touching her this way, not without her permission. _You know that._  It was forbidden. She would surely hate you if you did. 

 

But...

 

Why did you want to so much?...

 

Looking over her face again you let out a huff in irritation. You need to just get her to bed and sleep it off. Grabbing her legs and wrapping them around your hips, you pull her into your pelvis by her wrist making her arms squeeze her breast together.

 

Ok not helping.

 

You let go and slip your hands under her waist to pull her up to your sternum making the soft mounds press firmly against your ribcage when she grinds up hard into you and you and you choke back a moan.

 

 

_This feels good_

 

~~_You need to stop_...~~

 

 

You stay still as she continues to grind into your cock.

 

 

 

You can't take it anymore. 

 

 

 

You grind back slow and hard against her groaning loudly as your head lulled back, mind going hazy. Your cock presses against her clothed entrance, her moans matching yours. You roll your hips back and repeat the motion slowly speeding up to match her thrusts and you're soon dry humping her.

 

 

~~_You need to stop_ ~~

 

You ignore the voice in your head and continue to rutt against her, leaning down you rest your head in the crook of her neck panting as your cock strains against the fabric of your shorts. Fed up with the restriction you pull back to sit on the balls of your feet and yank her shorts down to her knees and duck them behind your skull placing her legs on your shoulders and thrust slowly into her soaked panties. You wanted more, to hear her moan for you again, pulling her legs down from your shoulders to rest around your hips again, you lean forward to grope her breasts, pinching and twisting the small nubs in between your phalanges making her whine in more pleasure. 

 

  

~~_Stop_~~

 

 

 

You pull her soul away from her chest and it pulses brightly as the sparkling color swirl and twist around over the surface. Bringing it up to your mouth you form your tongue and lick a stripe up from the tip to the curve of it.

"Nnghh..Hha...ple..sse~ she whines to you and you lick a stripe up the center making her back arch as she screams out in pleasure. "ff..k..hhah.." you pant out as you feel yourself get hotter.

 

~~_STOP_ ~~

 

 

You can only think of pleasing her and marking her as the strong scent of her arousal floods your mind. Your bones start to rattle and boil with mirth and your cock twitches at the idea of it being buried deep inside of her. 

 

You didn't want to stop.

 

_It feels **so good**._

_Why couldn't you controll yourself?_

 

 

_**God why is it' so hot**!_

 

 

_You never thought you'd be doing something like this with her._

 

 

_She smells so fucking good._

 

 

_You need to mark her_.

 

 

_Cover her in your scent._

 

 

_Make her scream for you_. 

 

 

Your cock throbs almost painfully at the thought again and you press your teeth to her neck nibbling at it as your hand travels between your bodies to yank down your shorts freeing your hard cock and quickly moving to her panties.

 

 

_Why is it so hot!?_

 

 

Sweat drips down your skull onto her neck as your thumb hooks onto her panties and slowly start to pull them to the side to gently press a phalanx to her soaking entrance. 

 

_She was so wet._

 

_For you._

 

_She was like this because of you._

 

Dipping you phalange into her warm slippery entrance you shudder plesently at the tightness and slowly start to pump it inside her before adding another phalange to siccer her open for your cock. You didn't want it to hurt for her. 

 

_When was the last time you went into your-_

 

  

You freeze as your eyesockets go wide. 

 

 

 

**_You're in heat_ **

 

 

 

Your eye sockets shoot open as you halt your movements as she still whines for more under you, slowly sitting up and stare down at her unaware and a violent state as guilt floods your ribcage.

 

 

_Oh god_...

 

 

Releasing her soul it floats back down to her chest to hover over chest still pulsing brightly before sinking back into her body as fat tears form in your eye sockets. 

 

 

_You raped her_.

 

You fight to suppress your magic as best you could for the moment making the room feel 100° hotter. Panting hard you unhook her legs from you and get up from the couch slowly and just stare down at her and your tears slowly fall from your sockets.

 

You couldn't control yourself..

 

_What was wrong with you!_

 

~~_You're a rapist._ ~~

 

You needed to get her away from you quickly. Picking her up bridal style you take her too her room tucking her in bed and quickly leaving the room locking the door before closing it. As soon as it does you drop to your knees pressing your skull aginst the cool floor panting hard as you let your magic swell until it was unbarably painful and burst reforming a hard cock again.

 

_Why did your master have to be female this time..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans has been mistaking things you do out of your insecurity as steps you're supposed to take as stated in his dating manual. 
> 
> On another note he prays to every god there is that you don't find out ever, but how long until the guilt of what he did gets the better of him? He's going to have to come clean sooner or later, and when he does, What would you do to him? What will happen to him if the monster registration office found out that he touched a human without consent?


	17. Let's Try To Forget, For Now pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You feel insecure and Sans possible just ruined everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I've been waiting for months to post this! up updates are usually based on kudos and comments but it's a bad idea.  
> 70% of this chapter is pure filler and won't go anywhere. Reader has a minor body description for plot purpose but I tried to keep it vague.  
> Some really dark and fucked up shit is going to happen in the future chapters, no joke. I haven't posted in a while because I honestly haven't been working on this fic since I was focusing on my other ones so I'm going to change updates to monthly.

"S-sans?" You knock on his door again waiting for an answer but he doesn't say anything.

* * *

After going back into your room and slamming the door shut, you quietly curse yourself for your stupidity. How the fuck do you forget to put bottoms on before leaving your room? How do you even forget to make yourself look presentable _knowing_ someone else lives here now. You probably scarred him permanently with your gross flabby out of shape body. Worst of all he probably seen your scars...You stare at your reflection frowning as your eyes roam over your belly and pinch at your love handles then slide down to your hips. Turning to the side you look at the rolls on your back and sigh as your eyes land on various scars along your hips, and arms. 

_Why did you do this to yourself._

Each scar was full of regret and painful memories from the past. Most of them old but a handful of new from recent times. You really wish it was easy to stop but you always felt that you needed to for either punishment for past mistakes and negative thoughts or just to make sure you could still feel _something still_. 

You often felt that if you were thinner again all of your problems would be fixed, people would treat you nicer, that your anxiety would fall away with your weight, people would talk to you, consider you pretty and treat you as a friend instead of use you as someone to make themselves feel better about how they looked.

Yanking off your tank top, and stare at you mostly nude body. The only thing you " _lucked_ _out with_ " looks wise was being busty and having wide hips. But nothing else. You didn't consider yourself pretty or even average or curvy no matter what angle you looked at yourself in, no matter how you possed... It was just a lie you were telling yourself, that's what everyone else told you. And everyone always said it so it had to be true. Your grandma would always tell you to be happy because a lot of women would pay to have their body like yours, but it only got you called a slut whenever a guy pointed out the endowments you had compared to another girl and made a sexual remark or a girl felt insecure about not being that way and said hateful things out of jealousy they refused to admit. It made middle and high school awful for you. The worst part of it was that it made grown men treat you like you were older than you actually were back then...

' _You're very mature for your age._ ' Was always somehow the justification for every lingering stare, every unwanted advance that persisted after you'd tell them how old you were, every ignored plea for them to stop when you weren't strong enough or too scared to get them off of you.

It wasn't anything you weren't already familiar with in your adolescents, but it scared you twice as much when it was with strangers. You never knew when it would happen with them. You didn't know their patterns or habits like you did with family.

You couldn't do anything about it or get help, it never mattered to anyone because ' _You're mature for your age_.' That's what your family would tell you anytime you told them someone was looking at you in _that funny way._

A few of your aunts and cousins would point out how strange you were acting when around certain people and suspicions would arise but as always in families like yours, The gay or trans family member was much more concerning to worry about rather than the family friends that enjoyed your company a bit too much or the pedophile relative.

Instead of the men being shamed for what they were doing to you, you were shamed for starting puberty too early. You were shamed for how your body was naturally out of jealousy and idiotic beliefs of others. It was always your fault for it happening. You never knew why it was until you got older and realized that those men were sick and so were the women who blamed you for it happening. You found had their own self-esteem issues. 

You could never directly tell your parents out of fear that they would do the same thing your classmates and the people who wouldn't stop touching you would.

When you started wearing your brother's clothes and cutting your hair short it stopped for a while. Save for the few that ' _wanted to prove you weren't into girls_.' Your father became angry and questioned your sexuality and made you start wearing more feminine clothing again. You only dressed like a boy to ward them off.To this day you still feel the anger you felt back then boiling in your stomach for not speaking up.

 

You were just trying to keep yourself safe. 

 

No one questioned why you just stopped talking, or where bruises or scars came from, or why you had stopped eating or going outside, why you only wore baggy clothes and refused to go swimming or cried anytime you went to the doctor. Your parents didn't notice anything until the school said you weren't attending classes and when you were theyd bring up your slipping grades and noticed how bad you were doing socially around others. The rumors they heard from the students about what you were doing with the male students.

You started stress eating behind it made the weight start to pack on and you didn't care. People started to notice and poked fun at you, it hurt but you didn't care. The men slowly started leaving you alone until they stopped completely and that's all that mattered to you. You were too big for their tastes and they started insulting you for it anytime they touched you, but you only cared that it got them to leave you alone, you were never strong enough to fight back or loud enough to get someone to notice. So you got big, no it wasn't the healthy thing to do but it made perfect sense to at the time, to get big enough to the point where you couldn't be easily overpowered. 

You were free from their abuse and happy.

But when everyone started calling you ugly, it opened up a new book of insecurities for you. You never saw being fat as a bad thing. Fat just meant fat, _not ugly_. Whenever someone spat that word out at you as if an insult you questioned if it was supposed to be one and they'ed laugh at you. It was like them insulting you for your skin or eye color, It made no sense to you. They were just telling you a fact. You quickly started to realize why they were supposed to be insults when you started to focus more on media, where a very narrow beauty standard of what is and isn't attractive and brainwashes people into believing that what they advertise is the only thing that is beautiful and that you'll only ever be loved or appreciated if you're thin and have certain features no matter what your genes are.

You started to find yourself less and less appealing and wanted to hide until you became thin again. You look back up to your face, you looked worn out despite just waking up. You knew if Jd saw you looking at yourself like this again he would be scolding you for it and tell you how beautiful you were to him. A small tinge of pain stabs at your chest and anxiety starts to fizzle in your stomach. _You shouldn't even be thinking about any of this right now..._ Sighing again you move away from the mirror and get ready for the day. You were going to have to face Sans again at some point. 

What's done is done now anyways...

He's seen your disgusting body damn near nude now and there's nothing you can do about it. You yank down your damp panties and throwing them into the hamper next to the closet. You go to open your dresser taking out a fresh pair along with a bra, black tank top, shirt and socks tossing them on the bed and move down to the bottom drawer pulling out a pair of light blue jeans. After getting dressed you look at yourself in the mirror again before leaving out of your room this time, at least you didn't look that bad with clothes on. You think back to the face Sans made when he saw you.

He looked revolted...

You even made him spit out his food... 

Frowning you grabbed the grey angel-winged hoodie you bought on Storenvy and shrug it on zipping it up before peeking out of your room and stepping into the hallway.

* * *

 "I-i'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to see me like that..." You wait for him to speak, but he doesn't but hear shuffling before it's quiet again. Anxiety starts to build in your stomach as the seconds tick by when the door finally cracks open. The room was was dark, Sans stands there with his skull cased off to the side away from you.  

"It's....o-ok.." His voice sounded deeper than it usually did and had a small rasp to it. 

"Um...you..wanna go to the mall? Get some clothes for you?" 

"N-no..ii-i'm f- _iine_ , _ughhu_...these one'ss a-are fine." he sounded strained, he groans again bringing his shirt collar over his nose hole.

 _Did you stink_?...

Blinking you lean your head down to smell yourself, you had washed these just two days ago they were still fresh. You didn't shower before changing though and felt sweaty when you woke up so maybe you did but you didn't feel you musty at all, maybe he had a better sense of smell than you...Still feeling self-conscious you pull away from the door a little.

"I'm going to the monster district later, you can help me get all the stuff you wanted..." He doesn't say anything and just stands there. "I'd enjoy the company... Plus clothing shopping for you isn't easy when I don't know your size or what you like."

"T-t-tha..t's..o-ok.." He rasps, letting out small huffs between words. "I-ijuswannasstay hhh-*huffs* h-home.." He quickly stutters. 

Oh god did...was he having a? You hoped you didn't trigger anything from his past to cause him to have an _anxiety attack_... You probably shouldn't push but...You needed to be sure. Pushing your insecurities aside you take a step forward to open the door a little more to get a better look at him and falter when he quickly backs away into the darkroom.

_Great. You've definitely triggered something._

"...Sans?" You call his name softly and he snaps his skull up to look at you, you see something spark in his left eye socket, but as quick as it was there, it's gone. He's breathing harder now and his bones rattle as he softly groans.

"Can you let me know if I'm bothering you so I can give you your space?" You ask. You know how it felt to be like this, everything would feel condensed and scary as it became hard to breath. He doesn't say anything and you chance things getting worst by deciding to step into the room a little. You see his silhouette back away more.

"Y-you...aaren..t.." He quickly says,

You reach over to turn on the light and he flinches as if he was just shocked. He looks down shamefully covering the front of his shorts before glancing back up at you with brightly burning but very fuzzy eye lights and you gasp. He looked terrible, his skull was covered in sweat, and he looked as if he hasn't slept all night. He was panting hard and looked ready to pass out. You quickly closing the distance between you two.

"D-don't." He weakly rasps and looks as if he's ready to collapse too weak to try to stay upright. "Sans, what happened?" You ask worriedly, you go to grab his humorous pulling him close to you.

"..a-ah.."

"Dude what's wrong? Are you sick?" You ask eagerly and he only groans in response as his bones start to rattle harder. You cup his cheek to make him look at you and his eye sockets screw shut, browbones knit tightly together as he slowly leans into your touch. "Oh man, you're burning up!"

His heavily lidded sockets open to stare at you.

" _Hnghm_..." He whimpers out pathetically and you try to push him over to the chair to sit. He ends up stumbling backward not bothering to resist and plops into the desk chair like a sack of potatoes as you move to stand in between his knees when he tries to push you away again.

" _Ughhh_.." He groans out giving up and rests his sweat covered skull against your belly and brings his hands to grip your hips tightly as his body shudders hard with each heavy breath he took. You frown deeply confused about what was going on, you haven't seen him this bad since he puked after eating at Morning Star. Was he...sick?

"Oh, geez..." You mumble as you watch him shudder. Was he sick this whole time? And here you were being self-conscious again..Poor thing, he must be in pain. But where did this come from? he seemed fine before you got dressed. But.. Then again when you think about it, when you saw him on the couch he was sweating a lot and had the same expression. Was this some type of flash fever monsters got? Was it another type of magic build up? You had heard that if some monsters didn't use their magic for a long time they could fall ill, and he hadn't really use much of it even when you gave him permission to. You gently try to pull his head up to look at you so you can get a better look at his face but he doesn't budge.

"Never mind about going out, we need to get you to the doctor." you say pulling back and turning away from him to head towards the door to go grab your keys from your room. Sans grabs your hand forcefully twisting you back around to face him making you gasp. You stare at him wide eye from the surprise but he keeps his skull craned down, but you can see his browbones knitted together guiltily and is panting harder. "Sans?" He doesn't say anything but weakly brings his arms around your hips again resting his skull back on your belly.

" _I-i'm sorry_.." His voice came out horsed and strained as if he ran a marathon you look at him confusedly pushing his shoulders back to look at his face but he keeps his skull down.  

"Sorry for what?" His phalanges start to bunch the fabric of your hoodie in his hands as he pulls you closer hanging his skull lower until his crown is pressed into your zipper.

"Ims-ssorrym'sorry, i-i didn't mea...n.." You see large tears start to fall onto his shorts staining them. " _Pleas_...d-don't..bbe mad.." He sniffles hard shuddering some more as he sucks in a breath and starts to cry.

" _Dontbemaddontbemaddontbem-had..I'm sorry!..."_ His weak voice cracks as his arms move to lock tightly around your hips pulling you closer. You stumble forward a bit as he buries his skill deeper into your gut muffling his cries. Your brows knit together as you look at him confusedly. Was he apologizing for how he reacted or wasting food? He had been doing that a lot when ever you didn't supervise him in the kitchen. Oh god you did _actually_ trigger something?...

"I d..idn't meann to.."

 _"What are you talking about?"_ You ask.

_"Pleass don't hate m-me.." He rasps._

"Woah, Woah, woah, Sans calm down." He shakes his head sobbing more. His phalanges start to painfully dig into your sides as he squeezes you tighter and you hiss.

"S-sans it's ok." You say trying to pry his hands off of you.

"N-n-no it isn't!" He weakly yells, his voice cracking you manage to pry his hands off of you and back away a little.

"you don't need to be sorry, it's ok, I'm not mad see? Sans look at me." He looks at you and he appears inraged at you. 

"How could you say that!?" His voice was loud and deep as he screamed at you this time making you jump from the sudden volume. Why was he overreacting it was just food, you could always buy more. 

 "It's not a big deal I swear." 

"Hh..ow!?..." 

"I know you aren't feeling well but let's just get you to the doctors ok?" You try to say calmly but it came a little panicked. You can't hide your discomfort. Deciding you should give him his space for a while now, You quickly turn to leave out and get your keys when you're suddenly and painfully shoved onto your back and boney hand slam against the sides of your head. You stare up wide eye at Sans as he looms over you panting, mouth agape, your eyes focused on his fangs, his right eye socket was pitch black but his left was burning with blue and wisps of as a single eyesight focused on you. Tears streamed down his round cheeks and he looked beyond freaked out.

"S-sans." You slowly sit up on your elbows and use one arm to push him away from you, but his hands rush to your shoulder shoving you back down and you swallow thickly as your heart slowly starts to pound in your chest from the anxiety that starts fizzling inside you again.

" _Don't take me there! **Please,I'm sorry**!" _ He looks frantic now and he leans all of his weight onto you stopping you from getting up. You try to push him off by bringing your knees up but he just forces himself between your legs and buries his skull in the crook of your neck. You feel your face get hot as your eyes start to water. "S-sans please, i-it's ok." You try to plead and bring your hands up to push at his shoulders again but he moves his hands down to tightly wrap around your waist and start to dig painfully his phalanges into your flesh making you wince. 

 _"T-that hurts_." Dear god what did you trigger!? anxiety starts to flood your chest as your body locks up the more he presses his body into you.

You don't like this, you don't like him forcing himself to be this close like this, you want nothing more than to push him off of you and tell him not to touch you ever again but the thought alone makes your throat tighten and it gets hard to breathe. You try to take small breaths through your nose until it's too stuffy. you work up the courage.

"S-sans please c-calm down, it's o-ok." You mumble and hot tears start to prick the corners of your eyes. He mumbles something against your skin as his teeth press into your neck. You want to slap him, to scream to do something, anything to get him off you but you just lay there. His hot breath fanning over the wet streaks his tears left on your neck.

 _"I'll be good_." He pleads and your blood feels like its starting to run cold. 

"Please..j-just c-calm down."

 _"I promise, I promise. I'm sorry, I'll do whatever you want._ " he whines panting out. You feel your heart drop into your stomach when you feel his tongue lick a stripe up your neck and something press into your crotch. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It had to end this way.  
> ._.


	18. Let's Try To Forget, For Now pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans fucked up a lot.  
> :l

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dark stuff in this chapter. Please watch it in the comment section this time, seriously. I almost deleted the fic last time because of them.

He pulls back to look at you, eyelights burning bright, closer to scribbled staticy dots than the pinpricks they usually were. His eye sockets were lidded and the look he was giving you made a shiver run through every tip of your body as you try to make yourself as small as possible.

_That look._

A desire in his eyes that you've grown to fear at  _too_ young of an age to understand what it meant that hid beneath the desperate and look of pure regret you were too frightened to look away from. But along with that look, you also saw something you had taken years to grow to accept from those who really cared about you're well being. It was almost...lovingly?

Confusion and fear were all you felt. 

His right hand moves up to cradle the back of your neck and he stares down at you for a long moment as if in contemplation, too petrified from shock and nervousness all you do is stare back into the wet sockets of the monster above you. Your heart is hammering in your chest and not a second later his bony lips gently press to yours and you inhale sharply through your stuffy nose squeezing your eyes shut tight making the tears that gathered in the corners of your eyes fall. You feel something wet lap at your mouth and your face reflexively scrunched up in disgust before he forces his tongue between your tightly pursed lips and your stomach flops. A whimper of fear makes it's way out of you and you choke on the breath of air you force yourself to take when it becomes too hard to breathe when you can't hold your breath any longer, allowing his tongue forces itself past your teeth. 

_You didn't want this._

Blood rushes in your face as his tongue explores your mouth, you try to keep your own away from the wet appendage, but it only makes him deepen the kiss and you cringe each time it swipes against yours and your stomach twists painfully. You try to focus on anything but the taste and feeling but find it hard the more his saliva mixes with your own and the wet sound of the appendage twisting within your mouth moves around.

 

_This isn't really happening, right?_

 

He softly groans into your mouth and you feel your eyes start to burn as hot tears form behind your tightly closed eyelids, a pressure builds up in your nose as your sinuses start to sting and swell. A bitter and salty taste spreads over your taste buds as your salivary glands make your mouth water and coat your mouth in mucus, prepping for the bile in your throat as stomach acids get ready to make their way up when the hardness pressing against your crotch roughly grinds against you again and you shudder. 

 

_He's a **skeleton** , he can't actually do it, right??_

 

You try to lean away from him but can't with your head spreading being pressed firmly against the floor. You want desperately to look around the room for anything that you could try to use to get him off you when you found the courage to push him off, _but don't want to look at him_. He's too close to your face to not see any of him in your peripheral. You're still too scared to, too scared to move, to do anything. Your body has locked up and all you can do is lay there suffering as small barely audible sobs leave your throat only to be muffled by his mouth. Spots begin to form behind your eyelids the tighter you squeeze them shut and your head throbs with pain from the headache you're starting to get from this stress.

No. This isn't happening. It can't be... It can't be..., right?

You try to focus on anything else but the feeling of your fear striping more of your power to do _something_ away from you as he continues his assault. But all you can do is acknowledge every spot his body is touching you. Every small shift, bump and twitch against yours. Your hands only manage to clench and twist into the soft fleece of your hoodie, the teeth of the zipper painfully biting into the knuckles of your skin the harder you tighten your grip. 

You feel so small and helpless.

You know you can't do anything, with this large heavy body over you pressing you into the soft padding underneath you. His weight keeping you pinned down, as he does as he pleases while you cry for him to stop. No one can help you because your alone with him here. _And no one will._  

You're used to this. It's nothing new but still so scary, it always is each and every time from the beginning all the way through to the end. 

After a few examples he taught you, and unwanted practice together as others watched and joined in to help you learn by making you practice with them too, you understand what this is now, _which he said makes it ok. As long as you understood what it was that made you mature._ Your lips and jaw would hurt and you'd choke in pain throwing up immediately on them when you couldn't. They'd beat you and you'd scream at the top of your lungs as pain explodes all over your small body leaving painful stings in their trace that would later turn into dark colors. You'd beg to god to send someone to help you like you learned to do in church. _But nobody came._

Laughter, yelling and bad words would greet you each time you tried to twist away from the belt and you'd be held down until they felt you learned your lesson and start practice with the more painful spots.

His tongue slips out of your mouth breaking the kiss and a trail of saliva dribbles onto your chin. Trembling you keep your eyes shut as you close your mouth biting your lips to keep your teeth from clattering loudly. You just needed to stay still, be quiet and he won't hurt you as much. You told him you didn't want any of this. You always did. When you first became old enough to properly conjugate those words as best you could, pain still tore through your tiny body each time and you were ignored. 

He starts to press kisses along your jaw lowering onto the tender skin of your neck and you swallow hard, biting the tip of your tongue painfully and squeezing your sweating fists tighter readying yourself to try not to flinch when and if he bites you when his teeth graze it more. You pray that he doesn't this time. He starts licking and sucking at the soft flesh as his hands slide down to start to rub your hips making a heavy weight settles in your guts.

Just let it happen, just stay still until its over and you could go home and sleep and have your favorite cereal for breakfast while watching cartoons. You'd be safe then as long as you don't forget to keep your mouth shut. You couldn't tell mom and dad. They won't believe you anyways. They'll all think you're a liar, just a filthy slut who was begging for it to happen, that's what he told you, all of them did.

It's your own fault for being stupid, for letting it happen, for not knowing right off the bat what it was the very first time it did. That what he would always tell you...

 

You're a stupid slut.

 

Shame hatred and guilt crashes down on you for not being smart enough to have seen it, for letting it happen.

His hands move up to fumble with the button of your pants as his hot breath fans over your skin.

 

Why did you have to be this way.

 

He, unfortunately, manages to unbutton them quickly. The zipper is next.

 

It isn't fair. You didn't even know what it was the first or what it meant!

 

Your pants and panties start to gently be pulled down and you can already feel the pain of being stretched and torn before it's happened.

 

...

 

... _it's your fault._

 

A loud cry slips from between your lips as more hot tears fall down the sides of your face through your closed eyes and you regret it the moment it does. Your hands shakily fly up to your mouth to cover your nose and mouth as you shake like a leaf. The weight on top of you is quickly gone and your heart is thudding in your chest so loudly you know he can hear it.  _He's going to hit you._

You wait, flinching hard at every little sound you hear above you.

He's silent but you can feel his rage filled eyes glowering down at you with a hate filled stare. 

The anticipation makes your stomach fill like its being crushed within someone's fist and you _just wait._

 

" _P-please don't cry.._."

 

A deep voice far too soft and so gentle full of worry says to you. You feel him lean over you and a soft kiss being pressed onto your left eye making you gasp, flinching. A warm gentle hand cups the right side of your cheek as another one is pressed to your right eye.

" _It's ok_.." The familiar voice meekly says, his voice wavering a little and gently pressed two more down the side of your cheek where your tears streamed. You let out a small shuddered breath and sharply gasp letting out another loud cry and you sob. Relief washes over you as the tension and fear is eased away as he continues to gently calm you. 

" _I_ - _I'm not going to hurt you, don't cry...it's ok..._ " You bring your hands up to press your palms against your eyes and continue to cry. His hand gently wrap around your waist and your back arches as he pulls your limp fatigued body closer, bring his hand up to support your back as he pulls you into a sitting position, your arms immediately go to wrap around his shoulders as you bury your face into his shirt and sob.

 

_It was just a bad dream._

 

_Your not back there anymore, that was a long time ago. You're home, safe._

 

 

_"Jd..."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a whole section with Sans p.o v but look it out. I honestly wasn't ready to post this. I'm still trying to get two chapters that came before chapter 13 so please be aware that the next update may be those chapters. I know I know, I'm confusing the hell out of all of you but like I said before I'm bad at this.


	19. Just Rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with the update.

You just hugged him and cried. _For so long_ , that's all you did as you begged for  _him_ to keep you safe and make it stop until you just stopped and were quiet. Your body slowly went limp against him as you fell tired. He only sat there with you, staring blankly at the space in front of him with empty sockets.

Guilt, confusion, _fear_ , just so many emotions wrecked his soul and a replay of what just happened cloud his mind.

Even though he was in heat,  _he couldn't feel anything._  As if his soul just muted itself from any feeling he had right now. Your body still limply hugging him as you stayed clutched to him motionless, sleeping. 

All he did was sat there with you in his arms for what felt like _hours_ though only minutes ticked by.

He didn't want to wake you. 

He couldn't. 

He couldn't face the reality of what he did to you just yet, he never _ever_ wanted to. What would happen to your already ill mind? How would you perceive things when you woke up to see that the one you thought you were clung onto was actually the _monster_ hurting you and that your beloved was long gone. 

He knew something was wrong with you long before his heat came, that you had demons you still faced, he doesn't know _what_ caused them but knew that certain things made you disconnect from your reality if triggered and he couldn't go through that with you again. What was wrong with him, this wasn't about him and his discomfort. He couldn't put  _you_ through that again.

He knew it felt different like something wasn't right, it felt like that for a while but he ignored it and kept going. _It felt so good to keep going._ The vibe was off in more way than one, not just because he was violating you. That thought alone made his soul lerch with heartache and he quickly tries to push it out of his mind but it was too late.

_Guilt_.

Pure shame and disgust of himself was all he could feel through the numbness of his mind and body as everything that just happened and the night before raced through his mind. You were crying, the whole time you cried, begged him to stop and he didn't. He kept going and it made him sick to his non-existent stomach and he wanted to throw up.

_His first kiss with you..._

He unconsciously starts to clench his phalanges into your hoodie.

 

_It was everything he could hope for._

 

Your lips were so soft and warm...like the rest of you were, just _so soft_ and _sweet_ and _warm_. The inside of your mouth so silky, _your taste_. But when he actually thought about it,  _how one sided it was._

He wanted to turn himself into the police, right. now. He committed a crime. _And on a human, on you._

_You of all people he had to do this to._

You meant so much to him and he forced himself on you.

You were so silent after that.

He ignored all the small signs that your body gave him but he was too lost in his lust to pay attention to them like a good mate does. Your face felt too hot, your body trembled and locked up each time he touched you somewhere new. His lust told him you were just a little nervous so he was gentle, so gentle with you as if handling the wings of a butterfly. When he pulled back from that kiss and looked at you it wasn't clicking in his skull that your flushed face wasn't one of anticipation in the slightest.

When the pathetic whimper slipped past your lips his sockets shot open and he pulled away and a horrid feeling of dread exploded within his rib cage as he looked down at your chest. When he saw it, _your soul_. . .

Everything just shut off.

His heat, his feelings, his mind. All he could do was stare down at the fragile shattering soul _leaking that color_. He didn't want to, he was scared. _So_ _scared to look at your face_ but he did and it felt as if he just witnessed a murder in front of him.

_You looked..._

Tears start to form in the corners of his sockets again and he tries to put the image out. Ever so carefully he shifted to slowly rock himself forward until he was on his knees and lifted your body with ease, and carried you to your bed.  _The one that belonged to you in your bedroom._  He gently placed you on your back and steps away from you and just stares down at your sleeping body. Your pants and underwear still hung low on your hips and he cringes at the sight but doesn't dare to fix it right away. He didn't want to touch you anymore, _not after what he did_.

_He was filthy and disgusting. Just as every human he has met said he was. No matter how much he tried to prove that he wasn't, no matter how much he showered and obsessed over keeping his clothes clean._

_He was dirty._

_Impure._

He didn't want to touch you again but _couldn't_ leave you like that. His vision starts to blur as tears cloud his sockets and he uses his magic to gently lift you slightly off the bed and with a wave of his hand fixes them. Watching as the iridescent color of your soul leaked out. 

You didn't deserve this, you went out of your way to help him so much and this was how he repaid you...

He backs away from you more. 

He shouldn't be here... He can't anymore. He didn't deserve it...

He looks around and moves to gather his stuff but stops when the realization dawned on him that everything he currently owned was given to him by _you. It didn't belong to him either._

_None of it did. Not even the clothes on his back, he couldn't take any of it with him even if he wanted to. It wasn't his._

He stands there unsure of what to do now. If he took anything he would be stealing. The only thing he did earn was the money he was paid for training you, that was all he really had but he doesn't feel like he deserves it anymore. Wiping away the wet streaks on his round cheekbones he turns to leave out making sure to lock the door behind him and goes until he's out the front door.

 


	20. Vile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sans meets someone from your past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait, i haven't been working on this story at all so here's a minimum.

He doesn't know where he'll go but as long as it was far away from you, that's all that mattered. you weren't safe around him, he made that clear today. as he reaches the front door he pauses and just stands there staring blankly at the wooden door, eyesight losing focus until its just a blurred outline as if he needed glasses. _why didn't he stop.... **why. didn't he stop**._ The deafening silence of the house only occasionally disturbed by the sounds of cars passing by on the street just outside the door. 

_He almost raped you._

He really almost fucking raped you, and if you hadn't let out that miserable fear filled whimper he probably would have gone through with it before he realized that he was doing it.

he feels like hes going to throw up. He was formidable, there was _nothing_ on this planet he could do to make you forgive him for this, what he almost did wasn't something you can just say _sorry_ for. _Heat or no heat, he still did it._ There's no excuse for that, and no justification. _nothing_ that makes it understandable. Heats are strong, yes _but he's not a fucking animal. they aren't **that** hard to control._ You clearly didn't want it and the more he thinks about the desperate feelings he has for you added with the tear soaked look of terror on your face makes him want to dust himself. _what would his brother think of him? His friends? to see that he-_

**_he almost raped you_**...

the one person that's treated him with kindness and so much generosity in the last year, given him a real home, something he looked forward to coming back to each night, somewhere he felt true comfort, like he was with Papyrus again...offered to even help him find Papyrus again and come live with you both, eating as much as he wanted, doing what ever he wanted when he felt ready to. You wouldn't yell or punish him if he didn't do what his other roommates told him to. he could even imagine their voices now as the voice of an anger old woman tells him off for another mistake he made. but you, you've never done that, you even made it ok for him to use his magic.

Treated him as an equal living being and not the....

 

_N o t T h e S l a v e T h a t H e W a s._

 

his left hand slowly and shakily comes up to graze his neck to find the rough collar around it _still there_ , memories of the dinner flooding his skull. Kumo's anger filled voice reminding him of how lucky he to have someone like you in control of his custody. No...those weren't roommates, they where his owner's. _His masters..._

an eerie darkness stars to cloud the corners of his vision as he lets go of the slavery collar around his neck and his chest starts to constrict as the magic burning his bones worsens. he wasn't a free monster, none of them were. you where kind enough to make his life as normal as possible, enough for him to forget the reality of the world he lived in now. you kept him sheltered despite your struggles mentally and financially just to make things _normal_ for him, _and he tries to rape you as repayment._

_you cried so silently and fought to keep your voice down while he touched you, even though he ignored them during his lust...He was perceptive enough to know those few signs. he didn't need anyone to tell him what's probably happened to you to know what it meant. **This wasn't the first time something like this has happened to you.**_

That look on your face...was..nightmare inducing...

and to come to terms with the fact that he caused you such dread. his magic starts to secrete through his bones and a painful sting itches them. he made you relive something horrible from your past and you unfortunately had no one but the _monster he was_ in the room to cling to for consolement.

you thought he was _him,_ your late lover. Jd...he didn't know the man but what would he think of him if he saw him doing something irrefutably vile to you. he was supposed to make you happy and keep you safe, that was the responsibility he took as your new date mate, not make your soul fucking shatter.

 

he was disgusting.

 

Reaching for the door knob he feels his mind go numb again as his phalanges clank against the cool metal on the knob and opens it wide to step out, it takes but seconds for his sockets to adjust to the blinding brightness of the daylight outside as he steps out, and a moment to realize that the angered yelling of an old woman was coming from the porch of (y/n)'s front yard. He stops in his tracks as his empty sockets land on an annoyed somewhat familiar looking older asian woman with a short black and grey bob holding her purse close to her chest as she glared daggers at a very burnt out looking white bunny monster trying to pick up what she can.

The woman turns to look at him and a small gasp leaves her as her glare thickens. her eyes look him up and down making him feel as though she knew what he did not moments before opening the door. " _That damn hypocrite._ " she bites out but he can't do anything but stare at the dead look in the eyes of his long forgotten neighbors face. Her eyes bloodshot and glossed over as if zombified, ears droopy and postured slumped to the point where she looked ready to fall over as she stood up. a ripped thin plastic bag was clung in her right hand and a mess of oranges lay of the ground around her flip flops. "M-ms.Lapi?-"He starts to great the worn out rabbit monster before the old woman cuts him off.

" _Do you hear me talking to you?_ " She snapped at him.

"I-"

" _Where is (y/n)_." she asks impatiently before he could even speak. He stiffens and looks behind him into the house. "...she's sleeping." he says quietly. " _What?"_ she asks as if annoyed by his answer.

"She's sleeping." he responds again and she huffs. "she's not feeling well right now so can you please come bac-" snapping her fingers at him and pointing at the oranges on the ground. " _-Never mind, just come pick up this mess."_ she cuts him off with a snarky growl and he stands there a taken back as she roughly pats the rabbit monster on the shoulder. _"You. go put the rest inside the kitchen on the counter."_ she commands and she does so without hesitation, walking in the same zombie like trans her eyes held, she continues to glare at her before double taking at him. " _TODAY?_ " she yells at him making him flinch back as the irritation on her face was enough to bring a child to tears, her eyes flick down to his collar waiting for the inhumane jolt of electricity to zap him. he quickly moves to the side as the rabbit monster passes him without a single glance.

"s-sorry, yes ma'am." he says as he quickly goes to pick up the oranges and gather them in his arms. he feels her scrutinizing stare on him as he does as she mutters something in disgust. There's too many to pick up at once, As he goes to hand some of them to her so he can gather whats left, she steps away from him as if he were handing her a cow patty making him hesitate. Human's dont help monsters, monsters are the help...right...

" _You_ take them all in, im not helping you." The woman confirms his thoughts as she scowls down at him before quickly walking into the house and begins to yell your name to alert that shes here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot how bad these chapters were and how freeform makes things confusing sometimes. fic will under maintenance again so i can put some effort into the story. I know i can do a hell of a lot better than this. Thank you for reading.


	21. a/n

new lost chapter added, please go back to chapter 11 to read it.


End file.
